What if he is kicked out of the military for his adultery? We talked Monday about a question we get fairly frequently: Should I report my husband’s adultery to his military command? The answer to Monday’s question is fairly straightforward. In almost every single case, I’d say absolutely not. There’s too much risk to you (from loss of potential child and spousal support to military health insurance, the military pension, and other military related benefits) and very little chance of reward. … [Read more...]
Should I report his adultery to his military command?
Should I report his adultery to his military command? All too often, the answers that I give to the questions that I’m asked are complicated and multifaceted. A question that a woman describes to me as “simple” ends up being anything but simple, after I’ve covered all the bases and explained all the possible advantages, disadvantages, things to be aware of, and vagaries of Virginia law. My answer usually starts with an, “It depends,” and then goes on into a pretty long discussion. It’s not that … [Read more...]
In Your Virginia Child Custody Case, Forget Fair
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s a truth that you should accept, and the earlier the better. Custody cases are not about fairness. There are lots of things about custody cases that are “unfair”. It’s not fair that he can petition, over and over again, for a modification based on a material change in circumstances. It’s not fair that, if you win at the juvenile court, he can appeal to the circuit court. It’s not fair that he can ask for a GAL or a custody evaluator to be involved, who … [Read more...]
Virginia Same Sex Custody and Visitation Cases: Part Two
On Monday, we talked about issues that gay parents face in custody and visitation cases, with specific emphasis on couples who have always been gay. I don’t say “always” to ignite any kind of nature or nurture debate, but merely to illustrate that there are some differences between gay partners who had children together and divorced, heterosexual couples where one parent engages in a subsequent same sex relationship. Though these people, too, have likely “always” been gay (and I certainly mean … [Read more...]
Virginia Same Sex Custody and Visitation Cases: Part One
When it comes to custody cases where same sex relationships are an issue, things get complicated really, really quickly, mostly because there are all sorts of different types and categories of relationships that fall under this heading. Not only that, but same sex relationships and how they’re treated, especially as it relates to custody and visitation determinations, is currently in a period of flux throughout the entire United States. It’s difficult to write to address these particular … [Read more...]
Do I Want a Guardian ad Litem Appointed?
Do I want a Guardian ad litem appointed? A Guardian ad litem is an attorney appointed on behalf of a child in a custody case. We really don’t bring kids to court to testify; there won’t be a moment where the child has to tell the court whether he’d prefer to live with mom or dad. That just doesn’t happen. But, of course, in a custody case, the prominent parties are typically mom and dad, and their respective lawyers. Their lawyers will, obviously, argue THEIR respective points. But where … [Read more...]
Girl’s Night Out Valentine’s Day at the Banque
Valentine’s Day: February 13th at the Banque Already dreading Valentine’s Day? Or just thinking about alternatives to the traditional red rose dinner with your, well, whoever? We’ve got a solution for you! Complaints about Valentine’s Day were common enough that something like five or six years ago we decided to start hosting a Valentine’s Day Girl’s Night Out event. We’ve hosted these events now for a long time, so we know how much it means to women (especially women who are going through a … [Read more...]
How is debt divided in Virginia divorce?
How is debt divided in a divorce? In almost every single case I have (at least, in the cases that I have where the parties have a significant amount of debt), my client tells me that she won’t take any portion of “his” debt. While I understand – I mean, I don’t want to have to pay off any extra credit card debt, either – that’s really not generally a very reasonable position to take. How is debt divided in a divorce? In a divorce, the assets AND LIABILITES are divided in equitable … [Read more...]
Can you recommend any good mediators in Virginia?
Can you recommend any good mediators in Virginia? I get asked for recommendations all the time. For lawyers practicing in other areas of law, for therapists for divorcing women and their children, for cool lunch spots in the Hilltop area near our main Virginia Beach location (hey, I’m good at that one!), and even, sometimes, for mediators. Ugh, mediation. It is seriously one of those parts of divorce that gives me such anxiety, I can’t even tell you. Mediation can be so great. It’s possible! … [Read more...]
I’ll give it all up, just give me custody!
I’ll give it all up, just give me custody! It’s tempting to say that you’ll give up everything you’re entitled to receive in your divorce in exchange for custody. I’m a mom myself, I can totally understand the appeal. After all, there’s literally nothing in the world more important than your children. At the root of it, too, there’s also the sense that keeping as much custody as possible allows you to parent the way you always envisioned you would. There’s nothing that makes a mom feel like … [Read more...]
