College is expensive. I know, I know – not exactly rocket science, right? And, especially in my cases where there are older teenage children, my conversations often begin and end on college education and the costs associated with it. I talk to mothers all the time, and they’re all super concerned about their kids well being and how to ensure that they are as minimally disrupted by the divorce and/or custody case that is going on in the background of their lives as possible. In … [Read more...]
Divorce from an Abuser
I actually got into family law as a result of two abusive relationships, so I understand the ways it can shape you, affect your thinking, and alter the future. The first was a run-of-the-mill abusive boyfriend. I didn’t think about his behavior in those terms at the time, of course; it actually took me several years (and a new, healthy relationship – with my now husband) to help me gain that perspective and see all the problematic behaviors. By the time I was offered and ultimately accepted … [Read more...]
Divorce help when you can’t afford an attorney
Family law is hard. I know you know, if you're facing a family law case. And you can bet your boots I know, because it's what I do day in and day out. I understand the love a parent has for a child, having two of my own. I understand the degree to which a loss (like a divorce) affects the financial future of a family. In fact, most therapists find divorce to be akin to a death in terms of the trauma inflicted on the people involved. Because of the nature of my work, it is very stressful. I … [Read more...]
Grounds for Virginia Divorce
My college roommate/best friend texted me this morning to ask whether, in my professional opinion, a recent transgression of her husband's was grounds for divorce. She included a picture, of a bottle of syrup, with the name "Vermont Maid" proudly displayed across the bottle. I should probably also mention: my friend, Erin, is from Vermont. I don't know how much you know about Vermont, so I'll tell you: for such a little state, Vermonters are very, very proud of it. Everything is Vermont's … [Read more...]
When you and your child’s father disagree on a diagnosis
It's hard to have a child with special needs. In this instance, I'm defining "special needs" pretty broadly, to include anything from a child so disabled that he or she will never live independently, and something as small as a general IEP or 504 plan for ADD. A "special need", as far as I'm concerned, is anything that means your child might need a little extra attention or help along the way. Unfortunately, in all too many custody cases, the parents disagree about the extent to which a … [Read more...]
Moving with your husband when your marriage is on the rocks
It's not uncommon, over the course of a marriage, for one spouse to receive a job offer that turns things upside down. It seems like a no brainer to accept a change when it might mean a completely different financial future for your family. Of course, that's not to say it's easy. You may be leaving a job of your own, or uprooting your children from a school where they're doing well. Your family may be close to where you are now, and you may wonder about your ability to make new friends in a … [Read more...]
Why won’t a Virginia divorce attorney take my case?
It happens sometimes that a potential client walks into our office, tells us their story, and ultimately walks away without a retainer agreement. There are lots of reasons we might not give a retainer agreement. Sometimes the potential client only comes in to get more information. Sometimes, they're not really ready to move forward just yet, or a more thorough review of the laws reveals that now wouldn't be the best time to move forward, even if the client personally feels like she is ready … [Read more...]
The answer to every Virginia custody and divorce question
If I had a nickel for every time a friend or family member texted me with a random legal question, I could probably retire. But, of course, they aren’t interested in paying, they just want to get information. Sometimes, I wonder why – because I feel like I give the same answer to literally every single question I’m ever asked. I’ll cut straight to the chase. In divorce and custody cases, there’s only ever one answer, it seems like, and it is this: “Yes, if you agree; if you don’t agree, … [Read more...]
Virginia Child Custody: Moving and Taking the Kids
Moving and taking the kids If you and your child’s father are no longer together, it makes sense that, sooner or later, one or both of you will find someone else. And it probably goes without saying that your someone else comes with his own baggage as well. Blending families – and making it work – is a complicated contention even in the best of situations. But in some of the more tricky scenarios, it can seem downright impossible. One of the most common scenarios I see is when a new … [Read more...]
Should I liquidate my 401(k) to get back on my feet after divorce?
Divorce puts many a woman in a pretty tough spot financially. It can be hard to get your feet back under you afterwards, and it's tempting to think of any place where you might be able to skim a little money oft the top in an attempt to reestablish some degree of normalcy. In virtually every case, there's a measure of cutting back involved. After all, when you were married, you had a certain level of income, whether it was one or two, supporting all of you in one household. Once you separate, … [Read more...]
