As you’re likely already aware, adultery is grounds for divorce in Virginia. Adultery includes consensual sex of any kind (oral, anal, or vaginal – sorry to get graphic!) with a person who is not your spouse, and it’s particularly interesting of the fault based grounds for divorce. Though technically it qualifies you for an immediate divorce, it actually almost always ends up taking more time (and certainly costing a great deal more money) than no fault divorce or even fault based divorces with … [Read more...]
When you get a letter saying your husband has filed for divorce
When you file a case in the circuit court, it’s a matter of public record. Divorces, therefore, since they are filed in the circuit court, are public record. When you file a divorce, your complaint is either served on your husband by a sheriff or returned to you (or your divorce lawyer, if you’re represented by counsel) so that you can have him served via a private process server. You don’t have to serve your husband right away though; for many different reasons, people often wait weeks or … [Read more...]
Virginia Divorce and Custody: How long does it take?
If you have never been through a divorce or custody case before (and, for your sake, I hope you haven’t), you probably have a lot of questions about family law. When we take on a new case, it seems like every client asks the same question: how long is this going to take? I understand! You’re living through what is probably one of the biggest periods of uncertainty in your life, and you’d like to know when everything is going to be finished so that you can get back on track. You’d like to put … [Read more...]
When settlement isn’t settling in Virginia divorce
Use numbers: when settlement isn't settling Mike and Karen are getting a divorce. In Karen’s initial consultation, I discovered that they owned a $300,000 house with $100,000 in equity. They each had 401(k) accounts, earned entirely during the marriage, worth about $125,000 each. They had about $60,000 in savings, and $5,000 in their checking account. They had personal property, too, of course—TVs, computers, kitchen appliances, furniture, and so on. They also each owned cars—he a 2010 Toyota … [Read more...]
Permanent Health Care After Divorce
There are lots of things that women want to have included in their separation agreements, but that doesn’t always mean that it’s possible. Unfortunately, when it comes to some things, we’re limited by what the law allows. What DOES the law allow you to divide or award in divorce? There are lots of things that the law specifically allows to be divided in divorce. We can divide the marital assets—like real estate, personal property, bank accounts, investments, retirement accounts, pensions, … [Read more...]
Divorcing and scared
If you’re divorcing and scared, you’re not alone. It’s normal to be wondering what to expect, especially when you’re headed towards such a major transition. It’s not unusual to wonder whether it will really happen, and fantasize about it either way. And, then, stay up half the night worrying about it—either way. Mixed feelings are normal. Divorcing IS scary, and you’re not the first woman who has frantically searched through our site for more information. In fact, every single day we get some … [Read more...]
Does adultery matter?
For most women, finding out that their husbands have committed adultery is devastating. For him to throw away your life together, after however many years, is a terrible and overwhelming feeling. I get it, and yet, at the same time, my goal is always to make sure that my clients have up to date, reliable, specific information about how the law in Virginia actually works, so that they can make informed decisions about their future. In my experience, I’ve noticed that lots of people have … [Read more...]
Divorcing a Sociopath
Whether your husband has been formally diagnosed or not, if he’s suffering from some sociopathic tendencies, you’re probably feeling overwhelmed and intimidated. Divorce is always difficult, for any number of reasons, but divorcing a sociopath is even more difficult. But you already know that, right? After all, there’s a reason why your marriage is headed towards divorce, and it’s probably not because he’s such a delight to live with. Although I’m not a therapist and can’t diagnose anybody, I … [Read more...]
File a Divorce
In Virginia (and, I’m pretty sure, just about everywhere else) the divorce process formally begins with the court when a complaint is filed. That doesn’t mean, though, that the first thing you need to do is march down to the courthouse and file a divorce. In fact, in many cases, you don’t file anything until the end of the divorce, and not the beginning. So, if you’re at the very beginning of the process, you may be getting a little bit ahead of yourself. Let’s take a step back and talk about … [Read more...]
Divorce Paperwork
You’ve Googled, and still you’ve found nowhere reputable that offers anything even close to approximating the kind of divorce paperwork you’d need to file for divorce on your own – without the help of a divorce and family law attorney – in Virginia. There’s Legal Aid, but, of course, they won’t help unless you’re really poor. Even if you are really poor, chances are they still won’t help (it’s not their fault; they just don’t have the manpower). They’ll give you a consult, give you some legal … [Read more...]
