I have my divorce (or custody) trial tomorrow! How do I prepare? Well, first off, let me say: I’m writing this because, like you, I have trial tomorrow. (Well, at least, as of the day I actually wrote this, anyway.) When I first started here (which was over seven years ago now), I asked one of the most senior attorneys when you stopped getting nervous before court hearings. He looked at me, completely seriously, and said, “I’ll let you know when it happens.” One of the other attorneys in … [Read more...]
Successful Coparenting
Successful Coparenting Working together with your child’s father isn’t easy, especially after you’ve decided that your future plans really don’t include each other. Breakups and divorces happen all the time, but, ultimately, the impact that these things have on your children is up to you. You know, or at least you probably already suspect, that your future life WILL include your child’s father – that particular fact is something that you probably realized right around the time you birthed your … [Read more...]
Will the judge agree with my Guardian ad litem?
Will the judge agree with my Guardian ad litem? Guardians ad litem are great. Guardians ad litem are terrible. There’s almost no middle ground, and certainly won’t be for you if you’re in the middle of a custody case. Most of all, guardians ad litem are terrifying, because they get involved in your case and, ultimately, make a recommendation about what, in their opinion, is best for your children. I’m a mom, too, so I get how you’re feeling. I can even imagine, though not from personal … [Read more...]
Virginia Relocation Cases
Virginia Relocation Cases Virginia relocation cases are always among the hardest. Though I understand why they come up so frequently (especially in an area that has such a high concentration of military families), I can also understand why the courts are so hesitant to allow one parent to relocate with the child. Like most other things, there are standards that apply when a parent wants to relocate. The standards come from case law (other cases Virginia courts have decided related to … [Read more...]
My Guardian ad litem is SO biased!
My Guardian ad litem is SO biased! Working with a Guardian ad litem (an attorney appointed to represent the interests of the child to the court in a custody and visitation case) isn’t easy, to put it mildly. And, if you’re one of the many, many, many women I’ve worked with or talked to over the years who hates your Guardian ad litem with a fiery passion you didn’t know you could feel for another human being, just know – you’re not alone. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that the GAL … [Read more...]
Delegating visitation during military deployment
Delegating visitation during military deployment In our area, dealing with the military is, for better or for worse, just a part of daily life. We’re pretty attuned to the specific issues that the military faces, and, for many of us, whether we’re current or former military service members or spouses, there are a lot of family law issues that are involved as well. When it comes to custody and visitation, deployment is a big issue. Specifically, what happens to the kids while one parent is … [Read more...]
Should I sign this separation agreement?
Should I sign this separation agreement? Every so often I hear from a woman who, panicked, tells me she has to have a separation agreement reviewed TODAY. She has to sign it right now, or there’ll be dire consequences. It’s an emergency! It has to be done now! I hate these conversations for a lot of reasons, but, first and foremost, because I believe this is when really bad decisions with really long reaching consequences are made. Separation agreements are never something that should be … [Read more...]
What IS Girl’s Night Out? Should I go?
What IS Girl’s Night Out? If you’ve been around for a little while (you know, kind of scoping us out to see who we are and what we’re about), you’ve probably seen that we have an event series called Girl’s Night Out. But what is it? Should you go? Would you feel weird if you did? Is it just a bunch of people, sitting around, harping on and on about divorce? (Because that doesn’t sound like very much fun to anyone, I’m sure, including me, and I often sit around harping on and on about … [Read more...]
Four Way Settlement Conference
Four Way Settlement Conference There’s not a lot of magic when it comes to being a divorce lawyer. I think that a lot of people think there is – magic words we put in agreements, or magic tactics we have to make the unmanageable somehow manageable. The truth is, though, that (although I wish there were), there’s nothing very magical about what we do. We’re fastidious; we’re meticulous – but we’re not magical. Since all we do is divorce, we have a ton of relevant experience when it comes to … [Read more...]
Adultery, Spousal Support, and Custody
Adultery, Spousal Support, and Custody We talked Monday about adultery, and the difference between filing a divorce (which is a civil case) using adultery as your grounds and an actual criminal prosecution on adultery (which is a level IV misdemeanor in Virginia). The purpose of that article was to alleviate concerns I see around adultery cases. I received a call just the other day from a woman who was worrying about the potential impact to her career stemming from a divorce action that … [Read more...]
