Staying in an Unhappy Marriage For the Kids I get it. Your kids are your life, and there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for them, including (but not limited to) staying in your unhappy marriage. But what’s the right choice? Do you stay, knowing that it’s entirely possible that your kids are aware of more tension than you even realize? Or do you go, knowing that you’ll forever change their family dynamic and force them to adjust to a new – potentially harmful – normal? No one can make that … [Read more...]
Custody and Visitation on Halloween
Custody and Visitation on Halloween Holidays are hard. They’re always hard. I field questions about holidays probably almost every single day. Generally speaking, holidays are alternated between parents. We alternate legal holidays – the Fourth of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Thanksgiving. We usually alternate Christmas and Spring Break, too, to varying degrees, both to reflect the need for both parents to be able to spend time with the children during the holidays, but also to reflect … [Read more...]
Narcissists and the Drama Triangle in Virginia Divorce
Narcissists and the Drama Triangle in Virginia Divorce I recently read a really interesting article that really helps to explain some of the ways a narcissistic husband will try to manipulate a situation to their advantage. For their spouse, the behavior is toxic, damaging, and, oftentimes, really difficult to separate themselves from. Partially, it’s just the way we’re built. You know, psychologically. They say that men get their sense of self worth from external things, like the job they … [Read more...]
Virginia Spousal Support Changes 2018-2019
Virginia Spousal Support Changes 2018-2019 If you’re separating (or already separated), headed towards divorce, and hoping that your divorce settlement or decree will include an award of spousal support, there’s a lot that you should know. The law is in a state of flux right now, and so, so, so much is changing. Things that divorce attorneys like me treated as an established fact are changing – and changing so drastically, so quickly! – that you’ll definitely want to be aware of what’s … [Read more...]
Veteran’s Day
In case you weren’t already aware, Veteran’s Day is coming up! And this year, like the last couple years, we’re running a special to thank female military service members and military wives for their service to our country. If you’re currently serving in the military, or your spouse is currently serving, and you’re considering a divorce or separation, we can definitely help. It’s a pretty scary experience, and there are always a lot of unknowns. You've probably got a lot of questions, and … [Read more...]
Support of Another Child: Reduction in Child Support
There is no shortage of ways that sly fathers will seek to avoid responsibility for their child support obligations. I’ve seen a lot of creative solutions – and even outright requests for downward deviations from the guideline amount of child support – over the years. One of the trickiest ways I’ve seen a child’s father attempt to limit his responsibility for child support is by claiming that he’s responsible for support of another child. In some situations, this is legitimate, of course. It … [Read more...]
New Blended Military Retirement
Military retirement is changing, and gone are the days where we could determine what a person’s total retirement benefit would be if we knew a few things, like rank, years of service, and base pay. Beginning in January 2019, new military service members who join the Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, Marine Corps, or reserves will become a part of the new blended retirement system. The blended retirement system is more similar to the system for federal employees, and has been touted by the … [Read more...]
How to Sue your Guardian ad Litem
How to Sue Your Guardian ad Litem In custody and visitation cases, Guardians ad litem are some of the most passionately despised people, and probably at least once a week someone asks me what they can do to either get rid of their Guardian ad litem or request that they be sanctioned for their behavior. How do I sue my guardian ad litem? This is a bit of a trick question. The answer? You don’t. You definitely, definitely don’t. The risk is just too great. You have to remember a couple of … [Read more...]
Custody and Child Support of Older Teenagers
Custody and Child Support of Older Teenagers Under the law, a child magically becomes an adult on their 18th birthday. But what does that mean, and how does it impact custody and visitation? When you have an older teenaged child, what options do you have? What does the court allow? These are all good questions, and, if you’re the parent of an older child, you’ve probably found that a lot of the information related to custody and visitation relates to much younger children. You’re probably … [Read more...]
Financial Abuse in Virginia Divorce
Financial Abuse in Virginia Divorce Financial abuse is a major issue in many divorce cases, especially when there’s a big disparity in income between the parties. For two spouses with a roughly similar income (even if that income isn’t super large), the act of separating and setting up separate houses, though difficult, isn’t nearly as complicated or as consuming as in a case where the parties are on a total different financial playing field. Unfortunately for many women who find themselves … [Read more...]
