What is a reasonable agreement when it comes to custody and visitation? This is a question we get a lot – hey, I understand! – from concerned moms who are wondering what’ll happen after they separate from their child’s father. What should a custody and visitation agreement look like? How much time with my kids do I have to give up? It’s difficult to go from “family time” to “mom’s time” and “dad’s time,” and figure out how to reasonably and fairly divide it. Not only the actual division of … [Read more...]
The answer to every Virginia custody and divorce question
If I had a nickel for every time a friend or family member texted me with a random legal question, I could probably retire. But, of course, they aren’t interested in paying, they just want to get information. Sometimes, I wonder why – because I feel like I give the same answer to literally every single question I’m ever asked. I’ll cut straight to the chase. In divorce and custody cases, there’s only ever one answer, it seems like, and it is this: “Yes, if you agree; if you don’t agree, … [Read more...]
Signed Agreements: Divorce and Custody
My three year old reminded me of an important legal principle the other day. He reminded me why you can’t overturn an agreement once you’ve signed it. How did he do that? Well, it wasn’t that sophisticated, of course; at least, not compared to practicing divorce law. But my husband has a habit of making deals with him, and it’s something my son loves. He’ll say, “Do you want to make a deal?” and they’ll discuss the terms, and shake on it. The other day, I made a deal with my son. If I read … [Read more...]
Is my separation agreement modifiable?
Is my separation agreement modifiable? We talked on Monday about two of the big problems associated with finding a form separation agreement on the internet. There are all sorts of issues you can run into in family law cases, and, in an ideal world, you’d be informed about exactly what they are and what you can expect. A good way to do that, at least at the outset, is by attending one of our monthly divorce seminars or requesting a copy of our free divorce and custody books. After all, … [Read more...]
Custody and Visitation on Halloween
Custody and Visitation on Halloween Holidays are hard. They’re always hard. I field questions about holidays probably almost every single day. Generally speaking, holidays are alternated between parents. We alternate legal holidays – the Fourth of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Thanksgiving. We usually alternate Christmas and Spring Break, too, to varying degrees, both to reflect the need for both parents to be able to spend time with the children during the holidays, but also to reflect … [Read more...]
Support of Another Child: Reduction in Child Support
There is no shortage of ways that sly fathers will seek to avoid responsibility for their child support obligations. I’ve seen a lot of creative solutions – and even outright requests for downward deviations from the guideline amount of child support – over the years. One of the trickiest ways I’ve seen a child’s father attempt to limit his responsibility for child support is by claiming that he’s responsible for support of another child. In some situations, this is legitimate, of course. It … [Read more...]
Handling divorce and custody separately
It happens sometimes – though I definitely don’t prefer it – that custody is handled separately from the rest of the divorce proceedings. It can happen for any number of reasons. Like everything else, divorce and custody cases are highly variable, and all sorts of things can happen that can result in people choosing to take a specific course of action that might not be appropriate for someone else. Most of the time, though, I think it’s fairly safe to say that custody, visitation, and child … [Read more...]
Protective Orders and Divorce
Domestic violence is often a big part of a divorce case. It’s sad (and really, really scary) but true. We see these types of cases all the time. When I first started practicing family law, I was surprised at how many cases there were that involved some kind of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse; maybe that was naïve of me, but that’s the truth. Today, so many years later, I don’t think there’s much you could tell me that would surprise me. Domestic violence is everywhere, and it’s so much … [Read more...]
10 Things You DON’T Want to Hear in a Virginia Divorce or Custody Case
Sometimes, my job isn’t fun, because sometimes I have to tell people things that they don’t want to hear. I like to give only good answers that make people (women specifically) feel happy and hopeful. That isn’t always possible, though. Sometimes, there aren’t great, exciting, happy, hopeful answers to give. And part of me doing my job means that I’m giving people reasonable expectations. It means that I’m not setting people up for failure later. It means telling them what the law is, and how I … [Read more...]
When will he start paying me child and spousal support?
When will he start paying me child and spousal support? It's a question we hear all the time. Financially, divorce can be complicated. In most cases, even in cases where there’s plenty of money, there’s some nervousness and confusion when it comes to how everything will be divided. Even though, in the Virginia Code, the provisions relating to spousal support refer specifically to the standard of living established during the marriage, most people realize that it’s really pretty impossible to … [Read more...]
