I want sole legal and physical custody of our child In a divorce and/or custody case, you can get whatever you and your soon-to-be ex/child’s father can agree to or whatever the judge is willing to award. In many cases, we’re really limited by what the judge will do. When the other side knows that, for example, the military retirement will be divided so that each spouse receives his or her marital share (50% of what was earned during the marriage) – there’s not much room to negotiate anything … [Read more...]
Parental Alienation in Virginia Custody Cases
Parental Alienation in Virginia Custody Cases One of the sharpest swords in a dad’s arsenal when it comes to custody cases is often a parental alienation claim. It’s an easy thing to claim, and it often creates a really tricky “he said, she said” situation that can make it hard to asses the truthfulness of anyone involved. That’s the problem with custody cases, isn’t it? How do you refute something that he just seems to pick out of the air? And, when it comes to parental alienation claims, … [Read more...]
Grandparent and Non Parent Rights in Custody Cases Part 2
On Friday, we talked about custody and visitation cases where a grandparent – or other non parent – petitions the court for custody and/or visitation. The cases I described on Friday are otherwise normal custody cases, where mom and dad share custody and visitation of the minor children in question. In those cases, grandparents (or other nonparents petitioning for custody and/or visitation) have to meet a standard beyond the typical “best interests of the child” standard. They have to show … [Read more...]
Grandparent and Non Parent Rights in Custody Cases Part 1
Grandparent and Non Parents Rights in Custody Cases It’s a truth universally acknowledged that children are wonderful. Well, unless they’re terrible, because sometimes that happens, too. But, regardless of how terrible they might be on any particular day, they’re certainly loveable, and they wiggle their way into our hearts – and the hearts of lots of other people that they come into contact with -- in about a million different ways. When grandparents and other non parents (like aunts, … [Read more...]
Does my teenager have to go to visitation with his father?
Does my teenager have to go to visitation with his father? I hate these cases. Really, really hate them. I see moms with some frequency who come in and tell me that they were trying not to make any future issues with custody and visitation, but that their child asked them to intervene for one reason or another. Usually, these children are older teenagers (15+) and they’ve asked, for whatever reason, not to be forced to go to visitation with their fathers. The moms, more often than not, feel … [Read more...]
Super Dad: A Virginia Custody Phenomenon
Watch out for Super Dad! “Super Dad” is a special kind of phenomenon that is unique to custody and visitation cases. In most families, while mom and dad are together, it’s the mom who bears the brunt of the parenting responsibility. It’s normally mom who drives the carpools, attends the parent teacher conferences, schedules all the doctors appointments, never forgets a birthday, runs out for poster board the night before the school project is due… and on and on and on. Both the physical and the … [Read more...]
Virginia Name Changes and Stepparent Adoptions
Virginia Name Changes and Step Parent Adoptions So, your child’s biological father is a deadbeat, and now you’ve found Mr. Wonderful (not Mr. Wonderful of the Shark Tank variety, to be clear). He is willing to adopt your child, and to have her assume his last name. Isn’t it amazing? But is it really that easy? In most cases, no! It’s actually fairly complicated -- if not downright impossible! The way the law sees it, the biological dad – deadbeat or no – has some rights here. A lot is … [Read more...]
What is a Guardian ad litem?
What is a Guardian ad litem? Nothing strikes fear in the mind and soul of a mom more than the threat of a custody case – especially when dad is unreasonable, unwilling to compromise, or somehow an inappropriate caregiver. It happens a lot. Even dads who were never formerly involved – or who did some terrible things – can petition the court for custody and visitation. Dads can even petition the court for visitation of a child who is a breastfeeding infant. Really, any dad, at any time, in any … [Read more...]
Is Virginia child custody temporary or permanent?
Is Virginia child custody temporary or permanent? Getting custody and visitation in place may feel like some kind of medieval torture. Whether you’re able to agree (after a fair amount of negotiation) or whether you ultimately need a judge to render a decision, it’s rarely an easy thing to do. When things go south between you and your child’s father, well, all bets are off. Things that you and he used to agree on (or, at least, things that didn’t stir up a major battle) can suddenly become hot … [Read more...]
Do I have to respond to my child’s father’s requests for information?
Do I have to respond to my child’s father’s requests for information? When your child’s father abandons you, there are hard feelings. I’ve heard some pretty horrific and heart rending stories throughout the course of my career, and, even though I’ve been doing this a pretty long time at this point, it still weighs on me. A woman I talked to the other day told me how, at two weeks postpartum, she went for a visit to her parents for two weeks. When she got to her parent’s house, her husband told … [Read more...]
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