Essential Workers: Custody and Visitation Concerns An ER doctor in Florida recently lost custody of her 4 year old daughter on a temporary basis as fears of the coronavirus pandemic escalate around the country. We keep reading about the stories of heroes who keep working despite the dangers of COVID-19, and we’ve realized recently how dependent we are on some of them: grocery workers, delivery drivers, transportation sector workers, doctors, nurses, hospital aides, nurse practitioners, on … [Read more...]
Coparenting for Beginners, Part 2
Coparenting for Beginners: Part 2 On Monday, I talked about an issue in coparenting that I see come up with some frequency: “how much information do I give my child’s father?” It’s often an issue when it comes to things like medical appointments; if dad doesn’t come, is mom obligated to share the details? What does it say if she does or doesn’t, and will it ultimately impact a custody case? Today, I want to change tacks a little and talk about another related issue that I see come up in … [Read more...]
Coparenting for Beginners
Coparenting for Beginners I was talking to a woman the other day who was asking me all sorts of things about her upcoming custody case and the decisions she should be making. The (first time) mother of a very young son, she had never navigated this kind of territory before. Though she hoped to be able to reach an agreement for custody and visitation out of court, she also wanted to be sure she was as prepared as possible in the event that her case did wind up in a courtroom. We were talking … [Read more...]
In Your Virginia Child Custody Case, Forget Fair
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s a truth that you should accept, and the earlier the better. Custody cases are not about fairness. There are lots of things about custody cases that are “unfair”. It’s not fair that he can petition, over and over again, for a modification based on a material change in circumstances. It’s not fair that, if you win at the juvenile court, he can appeal to the circuit court. It’s not fair that he can ask for a GAL or a custody evaluator to be involved, who … [Read more...]
Do I Want a Guardian ad Litem Appointed?
Do I want a Guardian ad litem appointed? A Guardian ad litem is an attorney appointed on behalf of a child in a custody case. We really don’t bring kids to court to testify; there won’t be a moment where the child has to tell the court whether he’d prefer to live with mom or dad. That just doesn’t happen. But, of course, in a custody case, the prominent parties are typically mom and dad, and their respective lawyers. Their lawyers will, obviously, argue THEIR respective points. But where … [Read more...]
I’ll give it all up, just give me custody!
I’ll give it all up, just give me custody! It’s tempting to say that you’ll give up everything you’re entitled to receive in your divorce in exchange for custody. I’m a mom myself, I can totally understand the appeal. After all, there’s literally nothing in the world more important than your children. At the root of it, too, there’s also the sense that keeping as much custody as possible allows you to parent the way you always envisioned you would. There’s nothing that makes a mom feel like … [Read more...]
Already Signed Separation Agreement
Already Signed Separation Agreement I met with a woman the other day who, from the moment she sat down, told me that she had just signed whatever her husband put in front of her because she wanted to keep things amicable. They have four children in common, and parenting was – understandably – her primary concern. He told her that they’d share custody. But the agreement said that dad would get primary physical custody, and mom would only get visitation every other weekend. She was under … [Read more...]
I want sole legal and physical custody of our child
I want sole legal and physical custody of our child In a divorce and/or custody case, you can get whatever you and your soon-to-be ex/child’s father can agree to or whatever the judge is willing to award. In many cases, we’re really limited by what the judge will do. When the other side knows that, for example, the military retirement will be divided so that each spouse receives his or her marital share (50% of what was earned during the marriage) – there’s not much room to negotiate anything … [Read more...]
Parental Alienation in Virginia Custody Cases
Parental Alienation in Virginia Custody Cases One of the sharpest swords in a dad’s arsenal when it comes to custody cases is often a parental alienation claim. It’s an easy thing to claim, and it often creates a really tricky “he said, she said” situation that can make it hard to asses the truthfulness of anyone involved. That’s the problem with custody cases, isn’t it? How do you refute something that he just seems to pick out of the air? And, when it comes to parental alienation claims, … [Read more...]
Grandparent and Non Parent Rights in Custody Cases Part 2
On Friday, we talked about custody and visitation cases where a grandparent – or other non parent – petitions the court for custody and/or visitation. The cases I described on Friday are otherwise normal custody cases, where mom and dad share custody and visitation of the minor children in question. In those cases, grandparents (or other nonparents petitioning for custody and/or visitation) have to meet a standard beyond the typical “best interests of the child” standard. They have to show … [Read more...]
