Does my teenager have to go to visitation with his father? I hate these cases. Really, really hate them. I see moms with some frequency who come in and tell me that they were trying not to make any future issues with custody and visitation, but that their child asked them to intervene for one reason or another. Usually, these children are older teenagers (15+) and they’ve asked, for whatever reason, not to be forced to go to visitation with their fathers. The moms, more often than not, feel … [Read more...]
Super Dad: A Virginia Custody Phenomenon
Watch out for Super Dad! “Super Dad” is a special kind of phenomenon that is unique to custody and visitation cases. In most families, while mom and dad are together, it’s the mom who bears the brunt of the parenting responsibility. It’s normally mom who drives the carpools, attends the parent teacher conferences, schedules all the doctors appointments, never forgets a birthday, runs out for poster board the night before the school project is due… and on and on and on. Both the physical and the … [Read more...]
Virginia Name Changes and Stepparent Adoptions
Virginia Name Changes and Step Parent Adoptions So, your child’s biological father is a deadbeat, and now you’ve found Mr. Wonderful (not Mr. Wonderful of the Shark Tank variety, to be clear). He is willing to adopt your child, and to have her assume his last name. Isn’t it amazing? But is it really that easy? In most cases, no! It’s actually fairly complicated -- if not downright impossible! The way the law sees it, the biological dad – deadbeat or no – has some rights here. A lot is … [Read more...]
What is a Guardian ad litem?
What is a Guardian ad litem? Nothing strikes fear in the mind and soul of a mom more than the threat of a custody case – especially when dad is unreasonable, unwilling to compromise, or somehow an inappropriate caregiver. It happens a lot. Even dads who were never formerly involved – or who did some terrible things – can petition the court for custody and visitation. Dads can even petition the court for visitation of a child who is a breastfeeding infant. Really, any dad, at any time, in any … [Read more...]
Is Virginia child custody temporary or permanent?
Is Virginia child custody temporary or permanent? Getting custody and visitation in place may feel like some kind of medieval torture. Whether you’re able to agree (after a fair amount of negotiation) or whether you ultimately need a judge to render a decision, it’s rarely an easy thing to do. When things go south between you and your child’s father, well, all bets are off. Things that you and he used to agree on (or, at least, things that didn’t stir up a major battle) can suddenly become hot … [Read more...]
Do I have to respond to my child’s father’s requests for information?
Do I have to respond to my child’s father’s requests for information? When your child’s father abandons you, there are hard feelings. I’ve heard some pretty horrific and heart rending stories throughout the course of my career, and, even though I’ve been doing this a pretty long time at this point, it still weighs on me. A woman I talked to the other day told me how, at two weeks postpartum, she went for a visit to her parents for two weeks. When she got to her parent’s house, her husband told … [Read more...]
Will my child’s father get visitation if I’m breastfeeding?
Will my child’s father get visitation if I’m breastfeeding? Breastfeeding is something that comes up pretty often when we’re talking about custody and visitation of infants – and sometimes even toddlers and beyond! With the wealth of information that is available to us nowadays, most people are aware of the fact that the benefits of breastfeeding extend for as long as mom and child continue to nurse. For a lot of moms (myself included), establishing breastfeeding is difficult and fraught … [Read more...]
Shared Custody: The New Rules
Shared Custody: The new rules In July of 2018, the law regarding custody was revised. The statute now specifically provides that “[t]here shall be no presumption in favor of any form of custody.” Based on wording alone, I’m not sure that this represents any real legal change at all. I was actually already under the impression that judges considered all the different kinds of custodial arrangements more or less equally, and applied whatever they believed to be appropriate to the case at … [Read more...]
Virginia Relocation Cases
Virginia Relocation Cases Virginia relocation cases are always among the hardest. Though I understand why they come up so frequently (especially in an area that has such a high concentration of military families), I can also understand why the courts are so hesitant to allow one parent to relocate with the child. Like most other things, there are standards that apply when a parent wants to relocate. The standards come from case law (other cases Virginia courts have decided related to … [Read more...]
A Guide to Child Support for Virginia Moms: Part One
A guide to child support for Virginia moms Part One Under Virginia law (well, under the law in every state, as far as I’m aware), both parents have an obligation to support their children. For many people, it’s a non issue – parents who are together tend to share expenses and mutually care for the children. For parents who are separated, divorced, or just plain old broken up, child support becomes a different issue entirely. In Virginia, child support is calculated by using guideline … [Read more...]
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