On Monday, we talked about issues that gay parents face in custody and visitation cases, with specific emphasis on couples who have always been gay. I don’t say “always” to ignite any kind of nature or nurture debate, but merely to illustrate that there are some differences between gay partners who had children together and divorced, heterosexual couples where one parent engages in a subsequent same sex relationship. Though these people, too, have likely “always” been gay (and I certainly mean … [Read more...]
Super Dad: A Virginia Custody Phenomenon
Watch out for Super Dad! “Super Dad” is a special kind of phenomenon that is unique to custody and visitation cases. In most families, while mom and dad are together, it’s the mom who bears the brunt of the parenting responsibility. It’s normally mom who drives the carpools, attends the parent teacher conferences, schedules all the doctors appointments, never forgets a birthday, runs out for poster board the night before the school project is due… and on and on and on. Both the physical and the … [Read more...]
Custody Issues: Back to School Drama
Custody issues: back to school drama Back to school often raises a whole host of issues for parents who are separated or divorced. Really, any time there’s a big change with the kids, it can pose issues for separated or divorced parents, but I feel like back to school is often one of those points that, year after year, we run into the same issues. I get it: it’s challenging. And married, separated, divorced, whatever – raising children is hard work. There’s no instruction manual. And so much … [Read more...]
My kids aren’t dealing well with the divorce
My kids aren’t dealing well with the divorce I’m no child psychologist, but I can tell you that I’ve dealt with my fair share of moms who worry themselves to death about the impact of their divorce on their children. To some extent, of course, they will notice and probably be affected by it – but that doesn’t mean that a divorce has to be traumatizing for children. Studies have shown that children – particularly young children – are pretty resilient and adaptable. It’s also better for … [Read more...]
Communication when your child is sick
Communication when your child is sick Having a sick kid is bad enough. Having to deal with your child’s father while you have a sick kid is even worse. Most agreements – and court orders – specify that when the child is in your care, you need to notify the child’s other parent of any illness or injury. Now, I think we can be reasonable here, and assume that doesn’t mean that you have to let your child’s father know every single time your child sneezes or has a slightly runny nose. (Unless, … [Read more...]
Successful Coparenting
Successful Coparenting Working together with your child’s father isn’t easy, especially after you’ve decided that your future plans really don’t include each other. Breakups and divorces happen all the time, but, ultimately, the impact that these things have on your children is up to you. You know, or at least you probably already suspect, that your future life WILL include your child’s father – that particular fact is something that you probably realized right around the time you birthed your … [Read more...]
Virginia Relocation Cases
Virginia Relocation Cases Virginia relocation cases are always among the hardest. Though I understand why they come up so frequently (especially in an area that has such a high concentration of military families), I can also understand why the courts are so hesitant to allow one parent to relocate with the child. Like most other things, there are standards that apply when a parent wants to relocate. The standards come from case law (other cases Virginia courts have decided related to … [Read more...]
Involving the Police in Custody and Visitation
Involving the police in custody and visitation At some point, the issues you face may be less a question for a divorce and custody attorney and more a question for a child psychologist. Not to put too fine a point on it, but if everything between you and your child’s father is highly contentious, there are very few things an attorney, a guardian ad litem, or a judge can do to minimize the damage that you’re doing to your coparenting relationship and, more importantly, to your … [Read more...]
Communication for Separated Parents
Communication for Separated Parents Communication is tough for separated parents. Even in the best situations, it isn’t easy, and there’s a fair bit of tension. Discussing even mundane things – like appointments for check ups, prescriptions, school events or pictures – can easily become escalated, and can cause communication to break down even further. There’s often the assumption that the party with primary custody (or, in the case of shared custody, the parent who has the most time – or, … [Read more...]
