I often find that, when reaching a separation agreement isn’t as easy as previously thought, many people (especially those who had hoped to navigate their divorce without the assistance of attorneys) find themselves filing for custody. Though I can certainly understand the appeal of this (after all, custody is THE biggest issue in cases where there are minor children), sometimes it’s not the best course of action. After all, you can go through the court process (with or without attorneys) but … [Read more...]
Asking for a continuance in your custody case
You thought you’d reach an agreement. You counted on it, actually. You and your child’s father were working towards an agreement, and things were looking pretty good. Even though there was a court date looming on the horizon, you didn’t think too much about it initially. You were working towards an agreement, and that was good enough for you. There was plenty of time, after all. And the two of you saw eye to eye on a lot of the major issues anyway. What was there to fight about? Except that, … [Read more...]
Will my new boyfriend hurt my Virginia custody case?
Let's face it, one day, you'll date again. For some, of course, it happens much sooner than others but, in the majority of cases, it happens. If you have children with your ex, no matter what else might happen, dating because exponentially more difficult. How do you talk about new boyfriends with the children? When do you introduce them? What if he has kids, too? There are a lot of questions, and it's difficult (understandably so) to navigate this complicated area. Some if it has more to do … [Read more...]
He just wants to pay less child support
I see it all the time. It makes me sad, but it's just the way it is. For a lot of dads, their chief motivation is figuring out some way to pay less child support -- or, even better, none at all. To them, I think, it feels like a long term monthly payment to their child's mother for her benefit, rather than for the benefit of their child. They imagine that their child's mother is going out for spa days, getting massages and nails done on their dime. At least, that's what I have to assume that … [Read more...]
Special Issues in Virginia Child Custody Cases
Custody cases are tricky. Like divorce, custody is one of those areas of law that varies pretty dramatically from state to state. There’s not a lot of standardization from place to place. Though almost all states have some iteration of the “best interests of the child” factors (here are Virginia’s ten best interests of the child factors), how those factors are interpreted and applied can be really different from state to state. (And, even within Virginia, from court to court – because the … [Read more...]
Virginia Custody Seminar for Moms
Custody Bootcamp for Moms is an intense, all day custody seminar designed to prepare Virginia moms for what they might face in a custody case at the juvenile court level. A custody case is a scary thing, and it’s especially scary when you can’t afford to hire an attorney to represent you. All of that “if you can’t afford one an attorney will be appointed for you” jazz, as you’ll quickly learn, doesn’t apply to custody cases. Court appointed attorneys are something we see in criminal cases, … [Read more...]
Drinking and New Boyfriends in Virginia Custody Cases
Custody cases are some of the hardest. Even in cases that – to me, at least – seem more or less routine, there’s still the fact that parents who otherwise would have had (and probably did have, up until recently) complete autonomy over how their children were going to be raised are going to suddenly face the involvement of the court, a guardian ad litem, and others when it comes to their parenting choices. As a parent myself, that’s something I honestly can’t imagine, even though I handle … [Read more...]
Unrelated Overnight Guests in Virginia Custody
Custody cases are some of the most complicated that we see. The court views a divorce case as predominantly a business transaction. Though you may get laughed at if you say that it’s about “fairness”, there is a fair amount of consideration that goes into the equity of a particular way of dissolving the marriage. It’s fairly straightforward; what he gets, what she gets. There’s a certain amount of entitlement there, too. Whether wife stayed at home or not, for example, she has earned a portion … [Read more...]
Keeping Kids in the Same School District in Virginia Custody and Divorce
I read an article the other day about parenting children through divorce and it cautioned parents to not beat themselves up over all the pain and suffering that their children would experience throughout their lifetimes. Though, as moms, we all tend to feel like it’s our job to protect our children from all the various unpleasant experiences of life, it’s also through that pain and suffering that children build courage, confidence, and character. After all, isn’t that how it worked for us? Who … [Read more...]
Getting your Virginia juvenile court custody case continued
Whether you or your child’s father originally filed custody petitions, it’s a pretty scary process. If he has an attorney and you don’t, it’s probably especially scary. Though there’s no rule that says you have to have an attorney in any divorce or custody cases in Virginia, navigating the system on your own can be tricky, especially the longer your case drags out. Lately, I’ve heard a couple horror stories from moms who were up against their husband’s savvy custody attorneys, and I’ve had to … [Read more...]
