In a divorce, or for women facing a divorce, the potential cost is one of the scariest parts. People tell me literally every single day that they’re afraid they can’t afford to get a divorce. I won’t lie to you and tell you that divorce is inexpensive. I won’t tell you that I haven’t seen very, very expensive divorces. But I also won’t tell you that you don’t have any control over the cost of your divorce because, ultimately, you do. …Wait, what? You have control over the costs in your … [Read more...]
What to Expect at a Virginia Divorce Seminar
I know, I know. Going to a seminar on divorce, especially on a Saturday morning, probably sounds like the last thing in the world you want to do. Besides that, attorneys are dry and boring. And it could be embarrassing. Because, after all, everyone knows you’re there because your marriage is falling apart. What if you see someone you know? We get it. It’s scary to walk into the unknown, especially when the unknown carries such long lasting and financially and emotionally difficult … [Read more...]
Top Tips for Dealing with a Narcississtic Husband in Virginia Divorce
If you’re married to a narcissist, I don’t need to tell you that your divorce is going to be more difficult than the average divorce. I probably also don’t need to tell you that, chances are, you’ll need an attorney to help you navigate this particular minefield. It’s unfortunate that you’ve found yourself in such a difficult position, but you’re going to need help. A narcissistic husband is so able to twist the facts to support his cause that you may find yourself feeling confused and … [Read more...]
The house in Virginia divorce
For many married couples, the home is one of the biggest (if not the biggest) asset. You’re going to have to do some thinking about what you want done with the home after divorce. For a lot of reasons, the home comes with a lot of emotional attachment, and different people have different ideas about what they’d like to see done with it. For many moms, keeping the home is important. There are the memories to consider, of course, but also a sense of continuity for the kids, as well as the … [Read more...]
Getting a Job After Divorce: Will I Have to?
Let me say, before I go too far, that no judge can FORCE you to go back to work. At least, there's no way he (or she) can issue any kind of order that will require you to return to work if you don't want to. Getting a job after divorce isn't something that someone else can actually force you to do. That being said, though, there are things that can happen that might force your hand a little. Even though the judge can't specifically require that you will return to work, the reality of your … [Read more...]
Can I talk to the JAG attorneys about my Virginia military divorce?
If you or your spouse is in the military, it’s only natural that, when your thoughts turn to divorce (or any other legal issue, for that matter), your mind jumps automatically to the legal services provided to military service members by the JAG attorneys. The military provides a great deal of incredibly valuable services to its members, and not thinking of using a JAG attorney probably seems, to you, a little bit like not using your Exchange privileges. Why would you do that? You’ve got this … [Read more...]
Inconvenient Forum: Divorce Filed Far Away
Technically, any court anywhere in Virginia has jurisdiction over your divorce. So, even if you live in Virginia Beach, your husband could file for divorce in Fairfax, if he wanted to—just to be difficult. Usually it doesn’t happen just because someone wants to be difficult (because he’d have to drive to and from Fairfax for court dates, too, and his convenience matters to him); usually, it really just happens because the parties live in two different places, and the party who files first files … [Read more...]
Divorce for Virginia Business Owners
A lot of divorcing couples own a business--something that tends to complicate equitable distribution. Equitable distribution is a fancy word we use to describe how property is divided in Virginia. Equitable distribution, unlike community property, doesn't necessarily assume that property will be divided 50/50, but that negative and positive monetary and non monetary contributions can affect the way a judge would divide property between the parties. Things like adultery (a negative non monetary … [Read more...]
Your Divorce, Your Words
Every so often, I meet someone who thinks he (well, usually it’s a he) knows more about the divorce than the woman who is supposed to become my client. They try to strong arm the conversation, to steer it in their direction, and to do everything in their power to “help” the divorcing woman. A lot of times, that woman is coming out of an abusive relationship—and, frankly, it looks to me like she’s planning on jumping into the next one! Maybe it’s not a potential boyfriend (for her sake, I hope … [Read more...]
When you get a letter saying your husband has filed for divorce
When you file a case in the circuit court, it’s a matter of public record. Divorces, therefore, since they are filed in the circuit court, are public record. When you file a divorce, your complaint is either served on your husband by a sheriff or returned to you (or your divorce lawyer, if you’re represented by counsel) so that you can have him served via a private process server. You don’t have to serve your husband right away though; for many different reasons, people often wait weeks or … [Read more...]
