Should I agree to his terms in our Virginia divorce? It often happens that, before I see a client in my office, she and her husband and/or child’s father are negotiating some behind the scenes. Though I often think that’s a good thing (hey, cheaper to agree yourselves than to pay me to negotiate it for you!), it can also be frustrating when a client and her child’s father have pre-agreed on some things that, on balance, she would be unwise to actually agree to. Without understanding the law or … [Read more...]
What happens in an initial consultation for divorce or custody?
We get a lot of consultations that are scheduled, and then rescheduled, rescheduled again, and sometimes even flat out cancelled. I get it. It’s scary. And coming in for a divorce consultation with a real lawyer can seem like a step that you may or may not be ready to take. I’ve compared it before to opening Pandora’s Box – but, really, it’s not like that at all. I think, too, in the early days before you are for sure ready to move forward with divorce, there are good days and bad … [Read more...]
Divorce and Compromise
A friend sent me a message the other day about divorce to ask me about her divorce. It happens all the time! She had gotten an inheritance from her grandmother, she said, and used it to buy a car and a trailer, but that her soon to be ex was keeping it hostage and she couldn’t convince him that it was hers. (Under Virginia law, inherited property is separate property.) “Should I just give him half and move on?” she asked. In this case, I get it. These two people really didn’t have anything … [Read more...]
How expensive is a divorce in Virginia?
How expensive is a divorce in Virginia? “Divorce is expensive.” I know that was certainly my impression, before I started practicing family law, though I can’t tell you now where I heard it first. I can’t tell you, even, what “expensive” means, exactly, because I think it’s probably safe to say that it means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. How much it actually costs is so difficult to say because there are so many different variables that ultimately affect it. Is … [Read more...]
Step One: Don’t Get Married
Step One: Don’t Get Married Recently, a woman responded to one of our Facebook posts about our free divorce and custody books, saying, simply, “Step One: Don’t get married.” I’m sure she thought she was being cute and clever. Certainly, if you don’t get married, you don’t need to get divorced. And I’m sure that, if you’re looking divorce square in the face, you probably have thought longingly of not having to go through the process. I get it. It’s scary. It’s a big deal. And, in some … [Read more...]
(Very) Short Virginia Marriages
(Very) Short Virginia Marriages We all make mistakes. Some mistakes are bigger than others, of course, but we all make them. If you were recently married, but have realized that it was a big mistake and you’re ready to work on finalizing a divorce… well, I don’t know the specifics yet, but I’d venture to say that it’s not even that big of a mistake. Sure, it’s a bit of a complication, and you’re probably feeling a little bit embarrassed, but a couple months of marriage and then a quick … [Read more...]
How do I choose a family law attorney?
How do I choose a family law attorney? It’s a million dollar question (or, at least, a $2,500-10,000 question). If you’re headed towards a divorce or custody case, how do you know whom to hire to represent you? You probably already know that you’re way better served having an attorney than not (or else you wouldn’t be here, reading this article), but how do you pick just one? Besides that, of course, lawyers don’t have the best reputations as a demographic. So, probably, it feels like an … [Read more...]
When your faith doesn’t allow divorce
When your faith doesn’t allow divorce Believe me, I am far from a spiritual adviser. What I am, though, is someone who has seen a lot of divorce. I’ve seen women in my office make arguments for divorce, and arguments against divorce. Though my general feeling is that most people who say that they don’t believe in divorce haven’t been unhappily married themselves, I do also hear from people who object to divorce on religious grounds. Though I don’t argue for or against divorce in any case … [Read more...]
Can I move out of the house?
Can I move out of the house? Even though most people these days live with their soon-to-be ex husband for a period of time during their legal separation, for most people it’s not a whole lot of fun. For others, it’s impossible. Depending on the specific factors that brought your marriage to this point, living together may be more or less feasible in some cases than others. (In some, it can be downright unsafe!) But probably you’ve heard about desertion as grounds for divorce – and desertion … [Read more...]
Handling Divorce and Custody
I often find that, when reaching a separation agreement isn’t as easy as previously thought, many people (especially those who had hoped to navigate their divorce without the assistance of attorneys) find themselves filing for custody. Though I can certainly understand the appeal of this (after all, custody is THE biggest issue in cases where there are minor children), sometimes it’s not the best course of action. After all, you can go through the court process (with or without attorneys) but … [Read more...]
