Whenever there is domestic violence involved in a case, we advise our clients about protective orders. It’s really one of the only tools in our arsenal available to help protect clients who are at risk from their former partners. On the one hand, it’s just a piece of paper. On the other, it works in the vast majority of cases, and it can have other useful components, too. It’s technically on the criminal side, so it can have implications for a person’s security clearance, and their ability to … [Read more...]
Should I press charges for his domestic violence while my divorce is pending?
Should I press charges for his domestic violence while my divorce is pending? There’s no shortage of domestic violence cases. Maybe I was being naïve, but, when I first started to practice family law, I was really amazed at exactly how many there were. I’ve been around for awhile now, and I’m not so easily surprised. There is a lot of domestic violence out there and, if you’re one of the women who has been stuck in an abusive relationship, you probably have a lot of questions – more, even, than … [Read more...]
Domestic Violence and Social Distancing
If you know me at all, you know I’m a huge anglophile. I can’t help it; I love the British. It has been a lifelong love, too. That’s generally not relevant to the work that I do. Once, I wrote a blog about Henry VIII and the differences between divorce then and now, and I may have mentioned my affinity for the Duchess of Cambridge once or twice since then. But then, the other day, while I was scrolling Facebook mindlessly (as one does when one is stuck at home with two kids under four) and … [Read more...]
Virginia custody issues: when you suspect your child is being abused
I’m a mom, too, so I get it. Protecting those little people is literally the only job in the world that matters, and when you feel like the health, safety, and well being of your children is threatened – well, it’s understandable if it makes you feel a little crazy. When the health, safety, and well being of your children is threatened by your child’s father, it’s even worse. And it’s not uncommon at all! I’ve been around the block a few times now and seen a lot of different types of cases, … [Read more...]
Can my child’s other parent refuse to allow me to leave with the child?
Can my child’s other parent refuse to allow me to leave with our child? We get a lot of questions about what your child’s other parent can and can’t do as the situation moves towards a separation. I get it – it’s scary, it’s emotionally charged, and it can get ugly, really, really fast. There’s really nothing that pulls on our heartstrings quite as quickly and aggressively and viscerally as our children. We can’t help it. It’s biological. But what do you do? You can’t stay where you are … [Read more...]
Spousal Support and Abuse
Spousal Support and Abuse Abuse is, for me, always one of the harder subjects to discuss. It's not that it makes the law complicated, or really that it changes what a person might be entitled to receive -- but maybe that's part of the problem for me, too. Abuse changes a person. After years and years of it, it slowly, subtly, completely changes a person. If you've suffered years and years of abuse at your husband's hands, you probably feel like a shell of the person you once were. You're … [Read more...]
Protective Orders and Divorce
Domestic violence is often a big part of a divorce case. It’s sad (and really, really scary) but true. We see these types of cases all the time. When I first started practicing family law, I was surprised at how many cases there were that involved some kind of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse; maybe that was naïve of me, but that’s the truth. Today, so many years later, I don’t think there’s much you could tell me that would surprise me. Domestic violence is everywhere, and it’s so much … [Read more...]
Abandonment and Custody
A woman I met with the other day asked me a good question, “If he abandons us, will that hurt his chances for custody?” She went on to tell me that, thirty some odd years ago, when her mom got divorced, her attorney gave her that advice. Now, facing divorce herself and with a small child of her own, her chief concern was how to keep custody of her daughter. Her husband had since moved out of the house and made little effort to continue to spend time with the child. It’s an all too common … [Read more...]
Domestic Violence and Divorce
Domestic violence and divorce go hand in hand in a lot of cases. At first, that was a surprise to me. I didn’t realize quite how dangerous so many women’s family situations were. Maybe that was naïve of me, but I really didn’t realize, until I got into the practice of law, how many women are affected by family violence. If you’re one of those women, you should know that you’re not alone, and you’re not without options. That doesn’t mean that any of this is a walk in the park, but it does mean … [Read more...]
How do I know if my divorce will go to court?
I spend a lot of time talking about how to get the best divorce. Most of the time, I have to say that the way to get the best divorce is to negotiate a signed separation agreement. There are a lot of reasons why you might like to do things this way. For one thing, it saves a ton of money (which you can use to get that fresh start you’ve imagined, put in your kid’s college fund, invest, or safely save away in your retirement accounts). For another, it takes the kids and the families into account. … [Read more...]
