Adultery, Spousal Support, and Custody We talked Monday about adultery, and the difference between filing a divorce (which is a civil case) using adultery as your grounds and an actual criminal prosecution on adultery (which is a level IV misdemeanor in Virginia). The purpose of that article was to alleviate concerns I see around adultery cases. I received a call just the other day from a woman who was worrying about the potential impact to her career stemming from a divorce action that … [Read more...]
What to do about adultery in Virginia
The most common questions I get in initial consultations (and at cocktail parties when people find out what I do for a living – don’t you just love that?) are about adultery. What does it mean? What does it affect? Can’t I just get a boyfriend already? The questions are varied, and usually full of complex layers of legal issues. It’s not just a quick answer in most cases. I wish it were as simple as a yes or no answer, but, when it comes to adultery in Virginia, that’s not the way it … [Read more...]
Separation Before Divorce in Virginia
Separation before divorce in Virginia You’re probably familiar with the idea that you have to separate from your husband before divorce – not just in Virginia, but in most places. Every state (and indeed every country!) handles this a little bit differently, and the required period of separation differs from one to the next. Sometimes, separation of longer duration is required in instances where minor children are involved. Divorce is one of those areas of law that is regulated on a state … [Read more...]
Does adultery matter?
For most women, finding out that their husbands have committed adultery is devastating. For him to throw away your life together, after however many years, is a terrible and overwhelming feeling. I get it, and yet, at the same time, my goal is always to make sure that my clients have up to date, reliable, specific information about how the law in Virginia actually works, so that they can make informed decisions about their future. In my experience, I’ve noticed that lots of people have … [Read more...]
File a Divorce
In Virginia (and, I’m pretty sure, just about everywhere else) the divorce process formally begins with the court when a complaint is filed. That doesn’t mean, though, that the first thing you need to do is march down to the courthouse and file a divorce. In fact, in many cases, you don’t file anything until the end of the divorce, and not the beginning. So, if you’re at the very beginning of the process, you may be getting a little bit ahead of yourself. Let’s take a step back and talk about … [Read more...]
Is a legal separation just a pit stop on the way to divorce?
For a lot of people, a separation is a time out, not necessarily a step towards divorce. I’ve heard people say things like, “I don’t want to separate, because I’m afraid that is automatically going to lead to divorce—but I really would like a break to figure out what I want.” Even though separation is often a step away from a divorce, that’s not always the case. Lots of people, for whatever reason, separate first—and then figure out their next steps later on. There’s no reason that a separation … [Read more...]
How long does it take to get divorced?
Attorneys are pretty notorious for not answering questions we’re asked. In fact, in law school, I remember a contracts professor joking that the answer to all legal questions is “it depends.” You’ll have to forgive me, because that answer has been pretty deeply ingrained in me (and, as far as I can tell, in all the other lawyers I’ve ever met). It’s not so much that we don’t like to give answers (in fact, most of us LOVE to give answers); it’s just that it’s also very deeply ingrained in us … [Read more...]
Immediate Divorce in Virginia
Everyone wants a divorce that is over quickly. In fact, in initial consultations, that's usually one of the first things people say to me. They want to know whether I think it can happen sooner, how long people usually spend negotiating, and whether there are any ways around the requirement of one year of separation (or, of course, six months if you have a signed agreement AND have no minor children). It's not exactly the most fun you'll have in your life. Like filing your taxes, divorce is a … [Read more...]
Fault Based Grounds for Divorce
Most people, at some point or other, really want to explore all of their options when it comes to divorce. For most people, too, that starts with carefully considering fault based grounds. They’re definitely appealing. For a lot of people, selecting from among the fault based grounds of divorce feels almost compulsory, if those grounds exist. For others, being able to use fault based grounds provides a level of justification. It’s almost a way of saying, “See? The law recognizes why I can’t … [Read more...]
