What if a shelter in place order is issued? What about visitation? I keep hearing a lot of “what ifs” lately, and it makes sense. There hasn’t been another pandemic like this in living memory, and these are exceptional times. Every morning these days, I get up and check the news, terrified of what I might see. I keep seeing news articles and hearing rumors that suggest that total lock down is on the way. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t – but, either way, as a mama, it’s scary. And you’ve … [Read more...]
When do I give up divorce negotiation and go to court?
When do I give up divorce negotiation and go to court? It’s the million dollar question: “When do I give up negotiation and go to court?” At some point in many cases, there’s a time where it seems like further negotiations are pointless. When you’re at an impasse, and you just want your divorce finalized already, it’s easy to wonder whether going to court wouldn’t just be easier. In many cases, the answer is simple. You go to court when the financial advantage to doing so will likely … [Read more...]
I drafted a Separation Agreement, but he won’t sign. What next?
I drafted a Separation Agreement, but he won’t sign. What next? You’ve agonized over the decision for months – sometimes, even years. After reflection and prayer and therapy and everything else you could think of to try, you’re ready to move forward with your divorce. I’ve seen it so many times! The initial consultation is often filled with tears, but, by the end, the woman walks out of our office a little taller, a little straighter, a little bit more confident. By the end of the process? … [Read more...]
When coparents are petty
When coparents are petty I heard a new one the other day. It doesn’t happen all that often, at this stage in the game, but yesterday it did. I was talking to a woman who told me that her child’s father, after their divorce, tried to one-up her in every single way imaginable – even with the tooth fairy! My son is only two, so I don’t have to deal with the whole tooth fairy thing yet. It’s my understanding, though, that the going rate for teeth has increased since my childhood. When I was a … [Read more...]
Know Your Judge: Virginia Custody Cases
Know Your Judge: Virginia Custody Cases Judges – like all of us normal, regular people – are different. They bring to their job different opinions, and different interpretations of the law. They are subject to different moods, based on what is happening in their own personal lives. This probably isn’t shocking information. But it is pretty scary, to think that you could wait months and months to meet with someone who could be making decisions about you and your family on a day where he or she … [Read more...]
When Virginia Moms Lose Custody
When Virginia Moms Lose Custody The worst has happened. You went to court, and a judge ordered custody to your child’s father. You lost custody. You can’t believe it. You. Lost. Custody. You want to throw up. You’re panicked and terrified. What happens next? How do you get your kids back? What should you do now, and who do you pick to help you along the way? Well, of course, a lot depends on your case. Obviously, the judge saw something about you that was concerning. If it’s drug or alcohol … [Read more...]
Drug or Alcohol Use in My Virginia Custody Case
Drug or Alcohol Use and My Virginia Custody Case Drug or alcohol use can pose problems in a Virginia child custody case, as you can probably pretty well imagine. Judges – who are notoriously conservative, especially in Virginia, and especially when it comes to things like drug use – don’t like it. In Virginia (as in pretty much everywhere), custody cases always comes down to what’s in the best interests of the child. Is living with (or riding in a car with) a person with substance abuse issues … [Read more...]
Does my family law judge hate me? Will he remember me?
Does the judge hate me? Will my judge remember me? In family law cases, it seems to happen fairly often that, in litigated cases, you come before the same judge several times. Most courts, of course, do this on purpose – in order to minimize the amount of time needed at each hearing that the judge needs to familiarize himself with the facts of the case. It’s efficient, it’s consistent – and, really, it makes sense, especially if you think about the need to conserve judicial resources (like, the … [Read more...]
Involving the Police in Custody and Visitation
Involving the police in custody and visitation At some point, the issues you face may be less a question for a divorce and custody attorney and more a question for a child psychologist. Not to put too fine a point on it, but if everything between you and your child’s father is highly contentious, there are very few things an attorney, a guardian ad litem, or a judge can do to minimize the damage that you’re doing to your coparenting relationship and, more importantly, to your … [Read more...]
Will I have to give up on things I want in my Virginia divorce?
In many ways, contested or uncontested, your divorce is a negotiation. In most cases, regardless of whether you initially file on fault, your divorce will ultimately be settled. That’s not a dig; in fact, it’s an ideal situation. Rather than leaving it up to a judge, you and your husband can reach an agreement about how your assets and liabilities will be divided. Taking your divorce out of the hands of a judge serves a couple different (but important) purposes. For one thing, it allows … [Read more...]
