Divorce and custody cases can be pretty complicated. Though these things can take shape in all sorts of different ways, generally speaking, when we meet with someone who already has a case going on and who is either checking up on the decisions her lawyer is making or is ready to fire her first (or second, or third) lawyer, things are on the more complicated end of the spectrum already. It's automatically harder to get involved in a case that's already in progress than it is to start in on one … [Read more...]
What’s a reasonable custody and visitation agreement?
What is a reasonable agreement when it comes to custody and visitation? This is a question we get a lot – hey, I understand! – from concerned moms who are wondering what’ll happen after they separate from their child’s father. What should a custody and visitation agreement look like? How much time with my kids do I have to give up? It’s difficult to go from “family time” to “mom’s time” and “dad’s time,” and figure out how to reasonably and fairly divide it. Not only the actual division of … [Read more...]
Is collaborative divorce right for me?
When it comes to divorce, there’s often a lot of fear involved. One of the biggest fears – for husbands and wives – is the threat of litigation. Litigation, though useful in certain circumstances, is complicated. It’s incredibly costly, with parties often spending far, far more than their counterparts pay for negotiated, mediated, or collaborative divorces. Though the costs can vary dramatically, depending on the type of complexity of the issues involved, it’s probably safe to say you’ll … [Read more...]
Grounds for Virginia Divorce
My college roommate/best friend texted me this morning to ask whether, in my professional opinion, a recent transgression of her husband's was grounds for divorce. She included a picture, of a bottle of syrup, with the name "Vermont Maid" proudly displayed across the bottle. I should probably also mention: my friend, Erin, is from Vermont. I don't know how much you know about Vermont, so I'll tell you: for such a little state, Vermonters are very, very proud of it. Everything is Vermont's … [Read more...]
When you and your child’s father disagree on a diagnosis
It's hard to have a child with special needs. In this instance, I'm defining "special needs" pretty broadly, to include anything from a child so disabled that he or she will never live independently, and something as small as a general IEP or 504 plan for ADD. A "special need", as far as I'm concerned, is anything that means your child might need a little extra attention or help along the way. Unfortunately, in all too many custody cases, the parents disagree about the extent to which a … [Read more...]
The answer to every Virginia custody and divorce question
If I had a nickel for every time a friend or family member texted me with a random legal question, I could probably retire. But, of course, they aren’t interested in paying, they just want to get information. Sometimes, I wonder why – because I feel like I give the same answer to literally every single question I’m ever asked. I’ll cut straight to the chase. In divorce and custody cases, there’s only ever one answer, it seems like, and it is this: “Yes, if you agree; if you don’t agree, … [Read more...]
How do I get him to agree to my terms?
How can I convince him to agree to my proposed distribution of assets? I’m continuing a conversation that I’ve been having all week, about a woman I met at a recent Second Saturday seminar monthly divorce seminar for Virginia women. On Monday, I discussed the kinds of records you should have to prepare for your divorce, and on Wednesday I continued with a discussion about dividing personal property in divorce. (Like I said, this lady had a LOT of questions!) She was also concerned about … [Read more...]
How Will COVID-19 Affect My Family Law Case?
First of all, we are thinking about all of our clients and all women and children in Virginia at this time. No matter your life circumstance – whether you have kids, whether you are elderly, or whether you are just trying to keep your job, everything right now is hard. Schools in Virginia are closed for at least two weeks, perhaps indefinitely. Businesses have reduced hours, and we are limited to take-out and delivery at restaurants. Even the courts have limited their availability to only … [Read more...]
Common mistakes in homemade separation agreements
Common mistakes in homemade separation agreements Lots of people choose – for many different reasons – to try to draft and negotiate their own separation agreements. In some ways, I understand, especially in cases where the parties share very few assets, if any, in common, and didn’t have children together. Sometimes, though, it happens in even more complicated cases. In fact, recently, a woman brought to me an agreement that she had prepared herself. After twenty years of marriage, a … [Read more...]
Will getting a job impact my alimony?
Will getting a job impact my alimony? I feel you – I’m a person who likes to take action, too. If you’re separating or headed quickly that direction, you’re probably wondering what changes you’ll need to make to your day to day in order to be able to afford the kind of lifestyle to which you have grown accustomed. In most cases, it’s not about you, really – it’s more about your children, or being able to afford to stay in the same home, or something like that. It’s scary to think of all the … [Read more...]
