Ignoring Your Lawyer’s Advice: Part One I get it. Lawyers tell you things sometimes that you just don’t want to hear. They give you advice and maybe, while you sat in your attorney’s office, you thought you were going to follow it. When you got home, though, other things confronted you, distracted you, and made it difficult for you to do what you had planned. An attorney’s advice, particularly in a divorce or custody case, can be wide-reaching. It can have to do with all sorts of other areas … [Read more...]
Financial Abuse in Virginia Divorce
Financial Abuse in Virginia Divorce Financial abuse is a major issue in many divorce cases, especially when there’s a big disparity in income between the parties. For two spouses with a roughly similar income (even if that income isn’t super large), the act of separating and setting up separate houses, though difficult, isn’t nearly as complicated or as consuming as in a case where the parties are on a total different financial playing field. Unfortunately for many women who find themselves … [Read more...]
How to Use Text Messages as Evidence in Divorce
Text messages are valuable evidence in a lot of cases. We need access to this information all the time, and we often request that our clients provide us with their text message history. Our client’s husbands also often provide text messages or emails as proof of some contention or another. When that happens, almost without exception, our clients say things like, “That’s not true!” or “That was taken out of context of the larger conversation.” Sometimes, too, if you read just a bit further, … [Read more...]
Should I take my husband to court?
Divorce and custody cases aren’t like personal injury cases. At the end of the day, all you have to divide is what was already there to begin with – so, most of the time, people wind up with less than they had before. I mean, if you think about it, it makes sense. If you sell your house, split the proceeds, and then buy two separate residences, there’s expense there. Two mortgages, two sets of utility bills, and so on. So, when it comes to thinking about how to handle your divorce, it’s wise to … [Read more...]
Handling divorce and custody separately
It happens sometimes – though I definitely don’t prefer it – that custody is handled separately from the rest of the divorce proceedings. It can happen for any number of reasons. Like everything else, divorce and custody cases are highly variable, and all sorts of things can happen that can result in people choosing to take a specific course of action that might not be appropriate for someone else. Most of the time, though, I think it’s fairly safe to say that custody, visitation, and child … [Read more...]
What to expect at a pendente lite hearing
One of the main reasons people file on fault first isn’t because that would necessarily be their first choice. Many women would prefer to negotiate a separation agreement instead, and not only because an uncontested divorce is typically cheaper, easier, and much quicker. For a number of reasons, though, they may feel more or less forced onto the contested divorce track. I’m not here to discuss all the possible reasons why you might feel like you have to file on fault, but I am here to discuss … [Read more...]
What are separation agreements? (And why do I want one?)
When most attorneys talk about divorce, they give the impression that there are all sorts of different “types” of divorce—negotiation, collaboration, mediation, litigation—but the reality is that there are really only three real choices. You either (1) negotiate your divorce by signing a separation agreement and decide for yourself how your things will be divided, (2) litigate your divorce and let the judge decide, or (3) you agree on what you can and let the judge decide the rest. What lawyers … [Read more...]
I can’t get a Virginia annulment. What next?
If you’re like most women, you can’t get an annulment in Virginia. Annulments are pretty difficult to get, and only apply in a couple of super narrow circumstances. (For more information about annulments, or to find out whether you might qualify, click here.) I definitely understand the appeal of an annulment. It would be nice to think that you could erase your bad marriage and, legally at least, make it like it never happened. That’s rarely the case, though, and, even though it’s mostly for … [Read more...]
The Disadvantages of Mediation
Many women, when faced with the possibility of a divorce, try to think of alternatives to the traditional divorce. Most people are wary of hiring an attorney at all, whatever the reason. Lawyers, after all, don’t have the best reputation. They’re expensive, for one thing, and they’re difficult to deal with. Everyone has probably heard a divorce horror story or two, too. So it’s only natural that, when confronted with a divorce, lots of people try to do whatever they can to think outside the … [Read more...]
