I got a good question at one of my Second Saturday seminars the other day. A woman asked, “What’s a reconciliation clause? Do I even want one? I don’t plan on reconciling!” She went on to say that a reconciliation clause wasn’t included when she and her husband met with a mediator, but then that the draft of her separation agreement from our office included one. I was a little taken aback by her tone, to tell you the truth, because she sounded a little accusatory. Like we should have … [Read more...]
Separation and Marital Agreements in Virginia
There’s no such thing as “one size fits all” when it comes to marriage and divorce. That’s why there are so many different solutions to whatever might be going wrong in your particular case—and it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re headed for divorce. I know. You’re probably thinking, “WHAT?! Why would a divorce attorney tell me that maybe divorce isn’t the answer?” The truth is that, although I am a divorce attorney, that’s really not primarily how I think of myself (even though I do happen … [Read more...]
Not happy, but not ready for a divorce: The Marital Agreement
You’re unhappy, but maybe you’re not ready to move forward with a divorce just yet. Things have been rough, but you’re still holding out hope that something might change and you’ll be able to make it work. Whether for your own sake or for the sake of your children, there’s something just so permanent about taking those first tentative steps towards divorce, and you’re not ready for that yet. But that doesn’t mean, though, that you’re okay with how things are. That doesn’t mean that you’re … [Read more...]
Can we be in marriage counseling and still be separated?
When a husband and a wife legally separate from one another, they separate with the intention to end the marriage. Then, they stop cohabitating. Cohabitation is a fancy legal word that describes the way two people live together as a married couple. When you are cohabitating, you’re behaving a certain way both inside and outside of the home. When you’re inside the home, you cook and clean up after each other. You eat the groceries that were purchased for the family. You do laundry and prep … [Read more...]
I have a Virginia prenuptial agreement. What does it mean?
It doesn’t happen all that often, but every so often we talk to a woman who has already signed and negotiated a prenuptial agreement. Usually, when it happens, the woman doesn’t let us know she has signed a prenup until after we’ve already had most of our initial consultation. Then, she’ll say something like, “Well, I signed this, but it was years ago, and anyway I didn’t consult with a lawyer about it. It doesn’t mean anything, does it?” Those days (and, like I said, they are few and far … [Read more...]
Filing for Legal Separation in Virginia
The first step towards divorce, for most couples, is a separation. Most people refer to it as a “legal” separation, though, in Virginia at least, there’s no actual, technical “legal” status. There are no forms to file, no protocol to follow; you are simply separated at the point when you decide to become separated. In Virginia, to be separated, it doesn’t even require a meeting of the minds; one of you alone is enough to make the decision to separate. It’s a mindset thing, a decision. And it … [Read more...]
