I don’t want my divorce to go to court For as many people as are dying to have “their day in court”, there are plenty of others who are terrified of it. While I think both of these positions are extreme; in reality, I think you’ll neither get the sense of vindication that the “day in court” people are looking to receive, and it’s not nearly as terrifying as those who would prefer to avoid it seem to think. Going to court is, sometimes, necessary. It’s a tool in your arsenal that you can … [Read more...]
Mediation versus Negotiation
Mediation versus Negotiation We get lots of questions about mediation, and I can certainly see the appeal. Divorce is scary as it is. Hiring and working with an attorney is probably also a little scary. A mediator seems like a softer option, especially if tensions are already high. It’s nice to think that you could go in, sit with a mediator for a few hours, and resolve all the issues – without an attorney, without going to go court, and without straining the relationship further (especially … [Read more...]
All I Need is an Uncontested Divorce
If you and your husband are already pretty much in agreement, that’s great! Still, there are procedural steps that you’re going to want to take to protect yourself, and to ensure that as you move towards an uncontested divorce, you’re in as strong of a position as possible. What do I need to get an uncontested divorce in Virginia? Basically, to get an uncontested divorce in Virginia, you’re going to need to have a separation agreement in place. Even if you and your husband have pretty much … [Read more...]
How are Virginia military divorces different?
How are Virginia military divorces different? If you’re active duty military, retired active duty military, you’re married to an active duty military service member, or even if you’re married to a retired active duty military service member, there will be some components of your divorce that are a little bit different than traditional civilian divorce. But you probably already know (or at least suspect) that much. Right? I’m not military, and, in fact, no one in my family has been in the … [Read more...]
We’ve been ordered to try mediation in our custody case. Is that okay?
Judges don’t love to decide cases, especially in family law. It’s not that they don’t care, it’s just that they know that they don’t really have the full scope of the situation (how can they?), and prefer, instead, for people to do all that they can to settle their disputes BEFORE coming to court. That way, they reserve their time for the cases that absolutely, positively cannot be settled without their involvement, and people are generally happier with the resolution of their cases. A judge … [Read more...]
Is separation just a pit stop on the way to divorce? Part Two
Last Friday morning, we started talking about separation. When are you separated? What does it mean to be separated? And, of course… Is separation even really a thing? Or is it just a pit stop on the way to a full fledged divorce? Lots of women say to me that they want to try a separation, but they’re too afraid that it will mean that they’ve given up on their marriages. If their husbands suggest it, they worry that their husbands are ready to totally throw in the towel. It makes them panic, … [Read more...]
Can I get divorced alone?
Though most divorces have some similarities, there are a lot of things that can be different, too. There is no such thing as a “run of the mill” or “typical” divorce, so I’m always a little hesitant to answer questions without knowing more about each individual person and their backstory. I had a woman ask me the other day whether she could get divorced alone. That’s it. The question was just, “Can I get divorced alone?” And I had to stop to think because, the more I turned the question around … [Read more...]
How to get a separation agreement in Virginia
In Virginia these days (and probably almost everywhere), most people get uncontested, no fault divorces. It’s a practical matter as much as anything else; uncontested, no fault divorces are the quickest, easiest, most cost effective divorces. So, how do you get an uncontested, no fault divorce? There’s really just one way: a separation agreement. So, what’s a separation agreement? A separation agreement is a legal contract. It’s unique to the divorce process, and it divides everything from … [Read more...]
Collaborative Divorce Virginia
When it comes to divorce, there are a lot of choices. Gone are the days when divorce was a one size fits all type proposition; these days, there are many more options. Though you still have to have grounds for divorce, potential grounds include both traditional fault based options as well as no fault. Keep in mind that no fault divorce doesn’t mean that there wasn’t any fault; it just means that, for whatever reason (but, normally, for the sake of expedience and efficiency), the parties have … [Read more...]
The Disadvantages of Mediation
Many women, when faced with the possibility of a divorce, try to think of alternatives to the traditional divorce. Most people are wary of hiring an attorney at all, whatever the reason. Lawyers, after all, don’t have the best reputation. They’re expensive, for one thing, and they’re difficult to deal with. Everyone has probably heard a divorce horror story or two, too. So it’s only natural that, when confronted with a divorce, lots of people try to do whatever they can to think outside the … [Read more...]
