I drafted a Separation Agreement, but he won’t sign. What next? You’ve agonized over the decision for months – sometimes, even years. After reflection and prayer and therapy and everything else you could think of to try, you’re ready to move forward with your divorce. I’ve seen it so many times! The initial consultation is often filled with tears, but, by the end, the woman walks out of our office a little taller, a little straighter, a little bit more confident. By the end of the process? … [Read more...]
I don’t want my divorce to go to court
I don’t want my divorce to go to court For as many people as are dying to have “their day in court”, there are plenty of others who are terrified of it. While I think both of these positions are extreme; in reality, I think you’ll neither get the sense of vindication that the “day in court” people are looking to receive, and it’s not nearly as terrifying as those who would prefer to avoid it seem to think. Going to court is, sometimes, necessary. It’s a tool in your arsenal that you can … [Read more...]
Should I sign this prenup?
Should I sign this prenup? Prenuptial agreements are pretty commonly misunderstood. I often hear that someone should may consider a prenup if they had substantial assets before the marriage that they wanted to protect. Under Virginia law, though, property that you earned or owned prior to marriage is already separate – it’s already yours, it stays yours, and it doesn’t become marital property unless you commingle it with marital funds. By “commingle,” I don’t mean that you used it to buy a … [Read more...]
Mediation versus Negotiation
Mediation versus Negotiation We get lots of questions about mediation, and I can certainly see the appeal. Divorce is scary as it is. Hiring and working with an attorney is probably also a little scary. A mediator seems like a softer option, especially if tensions are already high. It’s nice to think that you could go in, sit with a mediator for a few hours, and resolve all the issues – without an attorney, without going to go court, and without straining the relationship further (especially … [Read more...]
Should I sign this separation agreement?
Should I sign this separation agreement? Every so often I hear from a woman who, panicked, tells me she has to have a separation agreement reviewed TODAY. She has to sign it right now, or there’ll be dire consequences. It’s an emergency! It has to be done now! I hate these conversations for a lot of reasons, but, first and foremost, because I believe this is when really bad decisions with really long reaching consequences are made. Separation agreements are never something that should be … [Read more...]
Should I take my husband to court?
Divorce and custody cases aren’t like personal injury cases. At the end of the day, all you have to divide is what was already there to begin with – so, most of the time, people wind up with less than they had before. I mean, if you think about it, it makes sense. If you sell your house, split the proceeds, and then buy two separate residences, there’s expense there. Two mortgages, two sets of utility bills, and so on. So, when it comes to thinking about how to handle your divorce, it’s wise to … [Read more...]
Handling divorce and custody separately
It happens sometimes – though I definitely don’t prefer it – that custody is handled separately from the rest of the divorce proceedings. It can happen for any number of reasons. Like everything else, divorce and custody cases are highly variable, and all sorts of things can happen that can result in people choosing to take a specific course of action that might not be appropriate for someone else. Most of the time, though, I think it’s fairly safe to say that custody, visitation, and child … [Read more...]
Handling Holiday Custody and Visitation
Things always get more difficult around the holidays. People who are thinking about divorce don’t really tend to take action at this point; for the most part, they keep it together for their families through the holiday season. But for the people who have an existing divorce or custody case, it tends to become more emotionally charged as parents face the possibility (or the probability?) of spending at least one major holiday without their children. It’s a daunting thought. As a mom myself, I … [Read more...]
Will I have to give up on things I want in my Virginia divorce?
In many ways, contested or uncontested, your divorce is a negotiation. In most cases, regardless of whether you initially file on fault, your divorce will ultimately be settled. That’s not a dig; in fact, it’s an ideal situation. Rather than leaving it up to a judge, you and your husband can reach an agreement about how your assets and liabilities will be divided. Taking your divorce out of the hands of a judge serves a couple different (but important) purposes. For one thing, it allows … [Read more...]
My husband says he’ll never sign a separation agreement
There’s a lot of uncertainty when it comes to most divorces. At the beginning of the process, tensions are usually high, and there’s a lot of mistrust on both sides. Coming to the realization that your marriage is at an end is difficult and emotional, and it’s often surprising how fast people go from “till death do us part” to bitter adversaries. It’s understandable, though. It’s really shocking when the person you promised to love most in the world suddenly turns on you. No matter what … [Read more...]
