Should I sign this separation agreement? Every so often I hear from a woman who, panicked, tells me she has to have a separation agreement reviewed TODAY. She has to sign it right now, or there’ll be dire consequences. It’s an emergency! It has to be done now! I hate these conversations for a lot of reasons, but, first and foremost, because I believe this is when really bad decisions with really long reaching consequences are made. Separation agreements are never something that should be … [Read more...]
Should I take my husband to court?
Divorce and custody cases aren’t like personal injury cases. At the end of the day, all you have to divide is what was already there to begin with – so, most of the time, people wind up with less than they had before. I mean, if you think about it, it makes sense. If you sell your house, split the proceeds, and then buy two separate residences, there’s expense there. Two mortgages, two sets of utility bills, and so on. So, when it comes to thinking about how to handle your divorce, it’s wise to … [Read more...]
Handling divorce and custody separately
It happens sometimes – though I definitely don’t prefer it – that custody is handled separately from the rest of the divorce proceedings. It can happen for any number of reasons. Like everything else, divorce and custody cases are highly variable, and all sorts of things can happen that can result in people choosing to take a specific course of action that might not be appropriate for someone else. Most of the time, though, I think it’s fairly safe to say that custody, visitation, and child … [Read more...]
Handling Holiday Custody and Visitation
Things always get more difficult around the holidays. People who are thinking about divorce don’t really tend to take action at this point; for the most part, they keep it together for their families through the holiday season. But for the people who have an existing divorce or custody case, it tends to become more emotionally charged as parents face the possibility (or the probability?) of spending at least one major holiday without their children. It’s a daunting thought. As a mom myself, I … [Read more...]
Will I have to give up on things I want in my Virginia divorce?
In many ways, contested or uncontested, your divorce is a negotiation. In most cases, regardless of whether you initially file on fault, your divorce will ultimately be settled. That’s not a dig; in fact, it’s an ideal situation. Rather than leaving it up to a judge, you and your husband can reach an agreement about how your assets and liabilities will be divided. Taking your divorce out of the hands of a judge serves a couple different (but important) purposes. For one thing, it allows … [Read more...]
My husband says he’ll never sign a separation agreement
There’s a lot of uncertainty when it comes to most divorces. At the beginning of the process, tensions are usually high, and there’s a lot of mistrust on both sides. Coming to the realization that your marriage is at an end is difficult and emotional, and it’s often surprising how fast people go from “till death do us part” to bitter adversaries. It’s understandable, though. It’s really shocking when the person you promised to love most in the world suddenly turns on you. No matter what … [Read more...]
Four Way Settlement Conferences in Virginia Divorce
Negotiations in divorce can take all sorts of forms, depending on what’s appropriate under the specific circumstances. In a lot of cases, negotiations start out in the form of letters. We draft a separation agreement (or the other side does, depending on who was hired first), and then we negotiate back and forth in writing. In some cases, this is successful. In others, a face to face meeting becomes necessary. In cases where a divorce hasn’t been formally filed and we aren’t mandated to have a … [Read more...]
What are separation agreements? (And why do I want one?)
When most attorneys talk about divorce, they give the impression that there are all sorts of different “types” of divorce—negotiation, collaboration, mediation, litigation—but the reality is that there are really only three real choices. You either (1) negotiate your divorce by signing a separation agreement and decide for yourself how your things will be divided, (2) litigate your divorce and let the judge decide, or (3) you agree on what you can and let the judge decide the rest. What lawyers … [Read more...]
Estimating the Costs of your Virginia Divorce
If you had a crystal ball and knew how much your divorce was going to cost ahead of time, would you make the same decisions? Though it’s difficult to estimate legal costs ahead of time, it may be possible to estimate the total costs of your divorce. The total overall cost of your divorce can be incredibly wide ranging, of course, depending on all the issues. If you’ve got a house, an inheritance, a pension, a profit sharing plan, and a big fight over custody, your divorce will be more … [Read more...]
I can’t get a Virginia annulment. What next?
If you’re like most women, you can’t get an annulment in Virginia. Annulments are pretty difficult to get, and only apply in a couple of super narrow circumstances. (For more information about annulments, or to find out whether you might qualify, click here.) I definitely understand the appeal of an annulment. It would be nice to think that you could erase your bad marriage and, legally at least, make it like it never happened. That’s rarely the case, though, and, even though it’s mostly for … [Read more...]
