What is a reasonable agreement when it comes to custody and visitation? This is a question we get a lot – hey, I understand! – from concerned moms who are wondering what’ll happen after they separate from their child’s father. What should a custody and visitation agreement look like? How much time with my kids do I have to give up? It’s difficult to go from “family time” to “mom’s time” and “dad’s time,” and figure out how to reasonably and fairly divide it. Not only the actual division of … [Read more...]
I want sole legal and physical custody of our child
I want sole legal and physical custody of our child In a divorce and/or custody case, you can get whatever you and your soon-to-be ex/child’s father can agree to or whatever the judge is willing to award. In many cases, we’re really limited by what the judge will do. When the other side knows that, for example, the military retirement will be divided so that each spouse receives his or her marital share (50% of what was earned during the marriage) – there’s not much room to negotiate anything … [Read more...]
Do I have to respond to my child’s father’s requests for information?
Do I have to respond to my child’s father’s requests for information? When your child’s father abandons you, there are hard feelings. I’ve heard some pretty horrific and heart rending stories throughout the course of my career, and, even though I’ve been doing this a pretty long time at this point, it still weighs on me. A woman I talked to the other day told me how, at two weeks postpartum, she went for a visit to her parents for two weeks. When she got to her parent’s house, her husband told … [Read more...]
Successful Coparenting
Successful Coparenting Working together with your child’s father isn’t easy, especially after you’ve decided that your future plans really don’t include each other. Breakups and divorces happen all the time, but, ultimately, the impact that these things have on your children is up to you. You know, or at least you probably already suspect, that your future life WILL include your child’s father – that particular fact is something that you probably realized right around the time you birthed your … [Read more...]
Virginia Joint Legal Custody and Church
Custody in Virginia comes in one of two types: legal and physical. A lot of the time, we’re fighting over physical custody, because that has to do with where the child spends the majority of his or her time. But, of course, that’s not always the case. Every so often, different issues come up, and, sometimes, it’s the legal custody part of the equation that is called into question. Legal custody, in Virginia, refers specifically to the right to make decisions on behalf of the child with respect … [Read more...]
Virginia Joint Legal Custody and School Enrollment
In Virginia, there are two different types of custody: legal custody, and physical custody. Most of the time, parents fight over physical custody, because that has to do with where a child spends the majority of his or her time. Legal custody, on the other hand, refers only to the right to make three types of decisions on behalf of the child: non emergency medical care, religious upbringing, and education. In most cases, legal custody is awarded jointly. Having joint legal custody means, … [Read more...]
Custody in separate homes
At some point, after you and your child’s father call it quits, you’ll live in separate homes. In some ways, that makes custody of the child you share more difficult. In other ways, though, it lightens the burdens on you both. If you and your child’s father have just recently made the decision to separate, it’s daunting to think about the two of you living further apart than you do. Not so much because of each other, of course, (after all, you made the decision to end your relationship), but … [Read more...]
Small issues in Virginia custody cases
It’s easy, in a divorce, to lose sight of the forest for the trees. There’s a lot at stake, and so many different elements involved, that it’s easy to become fixated on something to the exclusion of almost everything else. Sometimes, it’s something big—like custody—and other times, in other cases, it’s something that, to me at least, seems small. Don't focus so hard on the small issues in your Virginia custody case that you don't focus on the bigger picture things. The other day, I was talking … [Read more...]
Custody Vocabulary
Understanding custody cases has a lot to do with understanding the vocabulary of custody cases. It’s not very complicated, but learning about custody vocabulary does require a little bit of background information before you can quickly and easily understand exactly what’s happening in your case—or what you’re even asking for! Most people talk about custody as something that is either won or lost; there’s no gray area. That’s just not accurate or realistic! In most cases, both parents are … [Read more...]
