3 ways a Virginia prenup can hurt you Prenuptial agreements aren’t a whole lot of fun. In almost every case I’ve ever seen, one party has the other party completely over a barrel, and it diminishes any amount of bargaining power that she might have otherwise had. But, then again, that’s the point, isn’t it? There’d be no real need for a prenuptial agreement if all things were relatively equal. The “need” for a prenuptial agreement arises when there’s already an uneven amount of bargaining … [Read more...]
Vacation Homes and Divorce
Equitable distribution is the fancy way we describe how property is divided in the Virginia divorce process. Under equitable distribution, the court looks at all a couple’s assets (the things that are worth money) and liabilities (yes, your debt gets divided, too!) and makes a determination about what each former spouse should take away from the marriage. How are assets and debts divided in Virginia? There are two ways that assets and debts can be divided in Virginia divorce. Either an … [Read more...]
His, Hers, Ours: Classifying Property in Divorce
When you’re happily married, everything is “ours”. But as soon as one of you starts talking about a potential separation, it’s funny how many things suddenly become “mine” – especially from a man’s perspective. I’ve only ever represented women only in divorce and custody cases, so I can speak most easily and comfortably about a woman’s mindset. For the most part, women aren’t the ones saying, “That’s mine.” Women, in general, are much more giving and understanding of the fact that what was … [Read more...]
Keeping the House in Virginia Divorce
In a divorce, there are often a lot of assets, but none quite so big (or emotional) as the marital home. Most women who come meet with me have really strong feelings about what they’d like done with the house. Whether they want to keep it, sell it, are hoping for a short sale, or something else, it’s important to deal appropriately with the house. Sure, there are a lot of assets tied up in retirement, too, but in many ways, in Virginia at least, dealing with retirement is easy. In some … [Read more...]
Selling the marital residence in Virginia divorce
In many marriages, the house is the biggest asset. In others, it can be the biggest liability. Either way—asset or liability—the way the house is handled in divorce is a really big deal. Whether you want it, he wants it, or you just want it gone, the marital residence is a biggie. Whether you want it, he wants it, or you just want it gone, the marital residence is a biggie. Whether it was the home you brought your first child home to, the first big purchase of your adult life, or just the … [Read more...]
Prenuptial Agreements and Virginia Law
Let me just say this: prenuptial agreements aren’t all that common. And, if your soon to be husband has presented you with one, you have three options: 1. Sign it as is, and hope for the best. (Generally not recommended.) 2. Don’t sign it. Walk away, and hope he’ll marry you anyway—but with full knowledge that this may be the end of your relationship. 3. Negotiate a better result. I don’t like prenuptial agreements for a lot of reasons, but, most specifically, (and the one that’s resonating … [Read more...]
Student Loans and Divorce
Student loans are a reality of the world these days and, if you’ve got them, you’re definitely not alone. (In fact, you’re preaching to the choir.) In fact, these days, more people have student loans than don’t have them, and the average amount of debt each person carries is greater than ever before. It’s pretty staggering, in some cases, how much loan debt one person can carry. We can debate the ethics of lending so much money to students pursuing careers that will ultimately leave them unable … [Read more...]
He’s taking money out of our IRA! What should I do?
All sorts of different things spur women to take action in their divorce cases. One of the more common things I hear is that a husband has taken a withdrawal from an investment account, usually without wife’s knowledge. Usually, these women come in, panicked, thinking that because of their husband’s sneaky behavior that there’ll be less to distribute in the divorce. In some situations, that can be the case. It is possible that he has wasted enough of the assets, over a long enough period of … [Read more...]
“My” money in Virginia divorce
I hear all the time, from both sides, that one party or another paid for something with “their” money during the marriage—usually as a justification for why a particular asset shouldn’t be subject to division in the divorce but should, instead, revert back to the one who paid for it. "Well, it's my money anyway," I hear over and over. Separating what's "my" money and what's OUR money Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, depending on which side of this issue you’re coming at it from), when it … [Read more...]
How DO we reach a settlement?
You probably already know, if you’ve been doing any kind of research on how divorce works in Virginia, that most cases these days are settled with a separation agreement. A separation agreement is, as you’ve probably already discovered, a legal contract that divides the assets and liabilities of the parties between them—somewhat “fairly” or “equitably.” It may not always be 50/50, but it’s usually (if we’re being honest here) somewhere pretty close to that. A separation agreement is one option … [Read more...]
