Common mistakes in homemade separation agreements Lots of people choose – for many different reasons – to try to draft and negotiate their own separation agreements. In some ways, I understand, especially in cases where the parties share very few assets, if any, in common, and didn’t have children together. Sometimes, though, it happens in even more complicated cases. In fact, recently, a woman brought to me an agreement that she had prepared herself. After twenty years of marriage, a … [Read more...]
Can I just file for divorce for $100?
Can I just file for divorce for $100? The other day, I received a question on our Facebook page. It was, essentially, though this is not a direct quote: “How much would it cost to file for divorce if it’s just the paperwork?” Her question is actually a little more complicated (and a little less straightforward) than it might seem. Because she didn’t really specify where she is in the process – I don’t, for example, know whether there’s a written separation agreement already, or if it’s just the … [Read more...]
When can I date after a Virginia separation?
When can I date after a Virginia separation? For some women, dating after a separation or divorce is the furthest thing from their minds. For others, though, after years and years of a less than stellar marriage, it IS on their minds. And, hey, who can blame them? I can completely understand, really, however you feel about the issue. But when CAN you start dating again? Well, it’s a good thing you’re asking. Its important that you understand the law in Virginia and how it operates, so that … [Read more...]
My kids aren’t dealing well with the divorce
My kids aren’t dealing well with the divorce I’m no child psychologist, but I can tell you that I’ve dealt with my fair share of moms who worry themselves to death about the impact of their divorce on their children. To some extent, of course, they will notice and probably be affected by it – but that doesn’t mean that a divorce has to be traumatizing for children. Studies have shown that children – particularly young children – are pretty resilient and adaptable. It’s also better for … [Read more...]
I believe in my marriage, and I don’t want a divorce.
I believe in my marriage, and I don’t want a divorce In many cases, couples both agree that the marriage isn’t working and that they want out. I’ve had several, though, where one party or the other doesn’t agree, and consistently insists that he or she wants to stay married. The reality is that you really can’t FORCE someone to stay married; whether you like it or not, one party deciding that they want a divorce is enough to move the case forward. You can slow down the process; you can make … [Read more...]
What if we want to change our separation agreement later?
What if we want to change our separation agreement later? Things change, especially when your family is in flux. In a divorce, all sorts of things can change, even within a relatively short period of time. If you’re in the military, the chances that things will change increase exponentially. I can’t count the number of times that we’ve negotiated a custody and visitation agreement, only to turn around and find that someone is PCSing. Even with civilian families, things can change at the drop … [Read more...]
Can I move out of the house?
Can I move out of the house? Even though most people these days live with their soon-to-be ex husband for a period of time during their legal separation, for most people it’s not a whole lot of fun. For others, it’s impossible. Depending on the specific factors that brought your marriage to this point, living together may be more or less feasible in some cases than others. (In some, it can be downright unsafe!) But probably you’ve heard about desertion as grounds for divorce – and desertion … [Read more...]
I drafted a Separation Agreement, but he won’t sign. What next?
I drafted a Separation Agreement, but he won’t sign. What next? You’ve agonized over the decision for months – sometimes, even years. After reflection and prayer and therapy and everything else you could think of to try, you’re ready to move forward with your divorce. I’ve seen it so many times! The initial consultation is often filled with tears, but, by the end, the woman walks out of our office a little taller, a little straighter, a little bit more confident. By the end of the process? … [Read more...]
Divorce After Just a Few Months
Divorce After Just a Few Months There’s no need to be embarrassed. Mistakes happen and, trust me, we’ve all seen much, much worse than a really short term marriage. In fact, in a lot of ways, a super short term marriage is best. Personally, you may have some explaining to do to family and friends. But legally? There’s not very much that’s marital after just a few months, so there’s not a lot to divide – which keeps the potential for disputes to a minimum, and usually keeps these cases out of … [Read more...]
Is custody included in my separation agreement?
Is custody included in my separation agreement? If you’ve never been through this before, you probably have a lot of questions. Of course you do! After all, it’s complicated, and even a bit scary. You’re dividing up your whole life, and you don’t know what that will mean or how it will impact your every day. I met with a woman the other day who asked me, “Should I file for custody and visitation, while we’re working on the separation agreement?” A perfectly good question, but one that showed … [Read more...]
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