Can you recommend any good mediators in Virginia? I get asked for recommendations all the time. For lawyers practicing in other areas of law, for therapists for divorcing women and their children, for cool lunch spots in the Hilltop area near our main Virginia Beach location (hey, I’m good at that one!), and even, sometimes, for mediators. Ugh, mediation. It is seriously one of those parts of divorce that gives me such anxiety, I can’t even tell you. Mediation can be so great. It’s possible! … [Read more...]
Already Signed Separation Agreement
Already Signed Separation Agreement I met with a woman the other day who, from the moment she sat down, told me that she had just signed whatever her husband put in front of her because she wanted to keep things amicable. They have four children in common, and parenting was – understandably – her primary concern. He told her that they’d share custody. But the agreement said that dad would get primary physical custody, and mom would only get visitation every other weekend. She was under … [Read more...]
Common mistakes in homemade separation agreements
Common mistakes in homemade separation agreements Lots of people choose – for many different reasons – to try to draft and negotiate their own separation agreements. In some ways, I understand, especially in cases where the parties share very few assets, if any, in common, and didn’t have children together. Sometimes, though, it happens in even more complicated cases. In fact, recently, a woman brought to me an agreement that she had prepared herself. After twenty years of marriage, a … [Read more...]
Can I just file for divorce for $100?
Can I just file for divorce for $100? The other day, I received a question on our Facebook page. It was, essentially, though this is not a direct quote: “How much would it cost to file for divorce if it’s just the paperwork?” Her question is actually a little more complicated (and a little less straightforward) than it might seem. Because she didn’t really specify where she is in the process – I don’t, for example, know whether there’s a written separation agreement already, or if it’s just the … [Read more...]
When can I date after a Virginia separation?
When can I date after a Virginia separation? For some women, dating after a separation or divorce is the furthest thing from their minds. For others, though, after years and years of a less than stellar marriage, it IS on their minds. And, hey, who can blame them? I can completely understand, really, however you feel about the issue. But when CAN you start dating again? Well, it’s a good thing you’re asking. Its important that you understand the law in Virginia and how it operates, so that … [Read more...]
My kids aren’t dealing well with the divorce
My kids aren’t dealing well with the divorce I’m no child psychologist, but I can tell you that I’ve dealt with my fair share of moms who worry themselves to death about the impact of their divorce on their children. To some extent, of course, they will notice and probably be affected by it – but that doesn’t mean that a divorce has to be traumatizing for children. Studies have shown that children – particularly young children – are pretty resilient and adaptable. It’s also better for … [Read more...]
I believe in my marriage, and I don’t want a divorce.
I believe in my marriage, and I don’t want a divorce In many cases, couples both agree that the marriage isn’t working and that they want out. I’ve had several, though, where one party or the other doesn’t agree, and consistently insists that he or she wants to stay married. The reality is that you really can’t FORCE someone to stay married; whether you like it or not, one party deciding that they want a divorce is enough to move the case forward. You can slow down the process; you can make … [Read more...]
What if we want to change our separation agreement later?
What if we want to change our separation agreement later? Things change, especially when your family is in flux. In a divorce, all sorts of things can change, even within a relatively short period of time. If you’re in the military, the chances that things will change increase exponentially. I can’t count the number of times that we’ve negotiated a custody and visitation agreement, only to turn around and find that someone is PCSing. Even with civilian families, things can change at the drop … [Read more...]
Can I move out of the house?
Can I move out of the house? Even though most people these days live with their soon-to-be ex husband for a period of time during their legal separation, for most people it’s not a whole lot of fun. For others, it’s impossible. Depending on the specific factors that brought your marriage to this point, living together may be more or less feasible in some cases than others. (In some, it can be downright unsafe!) But probably you’ve heard about desertion as grounds for divorce – and desertion … [Read more...]
I drafted a Separation Agreement, but he won’t sign. What next?
I drafted a Separation Agreement, but he won’t sign. What next? You’ve agonized over the decision for months – sometimes, even years. After reflection and prayer and therapy and everything else you could think of to try, you’re ready to move forward with your divorce. I’ve seen it so many times! The initial consultation is often filled with tears, but, by the end, the woman walks out of our office a little taller, a little straighter, a little bit more confident. By the end of the process? … [Read more...]
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