Four Way Settlement Conference There’s not a lot of magic when it comes to being a divorce lawyer. I think that a lot of people think there is – magic words we put in agreements, or magic tactics we have to make the unmanageable somehow manageable. The truth is, though, that (although I wish there were), there’s nothing very magical about what we do. We’re fastidious; we’re meticulous – but we’re not magical. Since all we do is divorce, we have a ton of relevant experience when it comes to … [Read more...]
Should I sign…? Separation Agreements in Virginia
I met with a woman the other day who had a separation agreement – prepared by her mediator – that she wanted me to review. She had gone to mediation with her husband, and then they had modified the agreement. She wanted me to tell her whether it was a fair offer for her. It had some promising items. Her husband was agreeing to pay off her student loan debt (incurred before the marriage), pay off her car loan, and pay a pretty significant sum in spousal support. “Should I sign?” she … [Read more...]
Litigated Virginia Divorce
I spend a lot of time talking here about separation agreements, uncontested divorces, and how, in general, it's often ideal to avoid going to court to have your assets and liabilities divided. In most cases, that's quite true. But "most cases" is not every case, and you have to think critically about your case, and your unique situation, when figuring out what the best course of action for you, in your specific circumstances, might be. An uncontested divorce, though ideal, may not always be … [Read more...]
Negotiating a separation agreement
A client of mine, who had retained me to help her draft a separation agreement, forwarded me the draft separation agreement that her husband had prepared while we were working on ours, with the caption “Things just got ugly.” I was confused – after all, I was retained to prepare a separation agreement, much like the one that opposing counsel had just sent to my client. Why would that mean that things had gotten ugly? Over the course of the evening, she sent me 6 or more additional emails with … [Read more...]
When do I serve my husband with divorce papers?
When do I serve my husband with divorce papers? I find there’s often a lot of confusion about what it means to serve someone and at what point you have someone served in a divorce case. There’s so much confusion, and it’s really almost nearly universal, that I feel like service of process is something worthy of the devotion of an entire article. What does it mean to serve someone? When someone is served, a process server (a private person from a company hired to serve process, who must be … [Read more...]
Separation Before Divorce in Virginia
Separation before divorce in Virginia You’re probably familiar with the idea that you have to separate from your husband before divorce – not just in Virginia, but in most places. Every state (and indeed every country!) handles this a little bit differently, and the required period of separation differs from one to the next. Sometimes, separation of longer duration is required in instances where minor children are involved. Divorce is one of those areas of law that is regulated on a state … [Read more...]
How do I tell him I’ve prepared a separation agreement?
How do I tell him I’ve prepared a separation agreement? How do you tell your husband you’ve prepared a separation agreement? It’s a question I get almost every single time, with almost every single client. There’s (understandably!) some anxiety about the moment they tell their husband what their plans are. There’s also (again, understandably) some concern over how their husbands will feel about them staking a claim to their marital share of some asset or another. Most husbands, it seems like, … [Read more...]
I already signed an agreement. Can I still get half?
I already signed an agreement. Can I still get half? It happens from time to time that a woman comes into our office with an already signed agreement. I won’t lie to you, it makes me die a little inside. I always read those agreements with a cringe, worried about what I’ll find in the next paragraph and on the next page. Simply put, one of the biggest mistakes (perhaps the biggest?) you can make in a divorce case is signing something without at least consulting an attorney first. Unless … [Read more...]
Waiving child support in a Virginia separation agreement
Waiving child support in a Virginia separation agreement I hear the same objection all the time: "But my husband says he won't sign an agreement unless I waive child support." They're upset. They're scared. They don't know what to do. Most are loathe to accept any kind of financial assistance from their child's father anyway, but they're still not quite sure how they'll make ends meet WITHOUT child support. "What can I do?" they ask me, tearfully. So, it's a loaded question, and one … [Read more...]
Should I take my husband to court?
Divorce and custody cases aren’t like personal injury cases. At the end of the day, all you have to divide is what was already there to begin with – so, most of the time, people wind up with less than they had before. I mean, if you think about it, it makes sense. If you sell your house, split the proceeds, and then buy two separate residences, there’s expense there. Two mortgages, two sets of utility bills, and so on. So, when it comes to thinking about how to handle your divorce, it’s wise to … [Read more...]
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