I believe in my marriage, and I don’t want a divorce In many cases, couples both agree that the marriage isn’t working and that they want out. I’ve had several, though, where one party or the other doesn’t agree, and consistently insists that he or she wants to stay married. The reality is that you really can’t FORCE someone to stay married; whether you like it or not, one party deciding that they want a divorce is enough to move the case forward. You can slow down the process; you can make … [Read more...]
What if we want to change our separation agreement later?
What if we want to change our separation agreement later? Things change, especially when your family is in flux. In a divorce, all sorts of things can change, even within a relatively short period of time. If you’re in the military, the chances that things will change increase exponentially. I can’t count the number of times that we’ve negotiated a custody and visitation agreement, only to turn around and find that someone is PCSing. Even with civilian families, things can change at the drop … [Read more...]
Can I move out of the house?
Can I move out of the house? Even though most people these days live with their soon-to-be ex husband for a period of time during their legal separation, for most people it’s not a whole lot of fun. For others, it’s impossible. Depending on the specific factors that brought your marriage to this point, living together may be more or less feasible in some cases than others. (In some, it can be downright unsafe!) But probably you’ve heard about desertion as grounds for divorce – and desertion … [Read more...]
I drafted a Separation Agreement, but he won’t sign. What next?
I drafted a Separation Agreement, but he won’t sign. What next? You’ve agonized over the decision for months – sometimes, even years. After reflection and prayer and therapy and everything else you could think of to try, you’re ready to move forward with your divorce. I’ve seen it so many times! The initial consultation is often filled with tears, but, by the end, the woman walks out of our office a little taller, a little straighter, a little bit more confident. By the end of the process? … [Read more...]
Divorce After Just a Few Months
Divorce After Just a Few Months There’s no need to be embarrassed. Mistakes happen and, trust me, we’ve all seen much, much worse than a really short term marriage. In fact, in a lot of ways, a super short term marriage is best. Personally, you may have some explaining to do to family and friends. But legally? There’s not very much that’s marital after just a few months, so there’s not a lot to divide – which keeps the potential for disputes to a minimum, and usually keeps these cases out of … [Read more...]
Is custody included in my separation agreement?
Is custody included in my separation agreement? If you’ve never been through this before, you probably have a lot of questions. Of course you do! After all, it’s complicated, and even a bit scary. You’re dividing up your whole life, and you don’t know what that will mean or how it will impact your every day. I met with a woman the other day who asked me, “Should I file for custody and visitation, while we’re working on the separation agreement?” A perfectly good question, but one that showed … [Read more...]
Should I sign this separation agreement?
Should I sign this separation agreement? Every so often I hear from a woman who, panicked, tells me she has to have a separation agreement reviewed TODAY. She has to sign it right now, or there’ll be dire consequences. It’s an emergency! It has to be done now! I hate these conversations for a lot of reasons, but, first and foremost, because I believe this is when really bad decisions with really long reaching consequences are made. Separation agreements are never something that should be … [Read more...]
Four Way Settlement Conference
Four Way Settlement Conference There’s not a lot of magic when it comes to being a divorce lawyer. I think that a lot of people think there is – magic words we put in agreements, or magic tactics we have to make the unmanageable somehow manageable. The truth is, though, that (although I wish there were), there’s nothing very magical about what we do. We’re fastidious; we’re meticulous – but we’re not magical. Since all we do is divorce, we have a ton of relevant experience when it comes to … [Read more...]
Should I sign…? Separation Agreements in Virginia
I met with a woman the other day who had a separation agreement – prepared by her mediator – that she wanted me to review. She had gone to mediation with her husband, and then they had modified the agreement. She wanted me to tell her whether it was a fair offer for her. It had some promising items. Her husband was agreeing to pay off her student loan debt (incurred before the marriage), pay off her car loan, and pay a pretty significant sum in spousal support. “Should I sign?” she … [Read more...]
Litigated Virginia Divorce
I spend a lot of time talking here about separation agreements, uncontested divorces, and how, in general, it's often ideal to avoid going to court to have your assets and liabilities divided. In most cases, that's quite true. But "most cases" is not every case, and you have to think critically about your case, and your unique situation, when figuring out what the best course of action for you, in your specific circumstances, might be. An uncontested divorce, though ideal, may not always be … [Read more...]
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