When it comes to divorce, there’s often a lot of fear involved. One of the biggest fears – for husbands and wives – is the threat of litigation. Litigation, though useful in certain circumstances, is complicated. It’s incredibly costly, with parties often spending far, far more than their counterparts pay for negotiated, mediated, or collaborative divorces. Though the costs can vary dramatically, depending on the type of complexity of the issues involved, it’s probably safe to say you’ll … [Read more...]
Should I agree to his terms in our Virginia divorce?
Should I agree to his terms in our Virginia divorce? It often happens that, before I see a client in my office, she and her husband and/or child’s father are negotiating some behind the scenes. Though I often think that’s a good thing (hey, cheaper to agree yourselves than to pay me to negotiate it for you!), it can also be frustrating when a client and her child’s father have pre-agreed on some things that, on balance, she would be unwise to actually agree to. Without understanding the law or … [Read more...]
Virginia divorce forms
Virginia divorce forms Everyone wants to DIY their divorce – that is, until they realize exactly what’s involved! We get requests all the time for copies of the forms that are needed in order to finalize a divorce in Virginia. But the truth is, it’s really not that easy! And it’s not one size fits all. It’s not like, if you just get some fill in the blank style forms, you’ll be able to just add your name, social security number, contact information, and then sign. There are all sorts of … [Read more...]
How do I file for legal separation in Virginia?
How do I file for legal separation in Virginia? In Virginia, you have to be separated to get a divorce. In fact, you have to be separated for a year for most types of divorce. (The notable exception to this rule is divorce when you’re using adultery as your grounds, but you should read up on this, and its specific limitations, HERE if that’s something you’re considering.) But what’s a legal separation? How do you prove that you’ve been legally separated? What forms do you need to fill out? … [Read more...]
Should I press charges for his domestic violence while my divorce is pending?
Should I press charges for his domestic violence while my divorce is pending? There’s no shortage of domestic violence cases. Maybe I was being naïve, but, when I first started to practice family law, I was really amazed at exactly how many there were. I’ve been around for awhile now, and I’m not so easily surprised. There is a lot of domestic violence out there and, if you’re one of the women who has been stuck in an abusive relationship, you probably have a lot of questions – more, even, than … [Read more...]
(Very) Short Virginia Marriages
(Very) Short Virginia Marriages We all make mistakes. Some mistakes are bigger than others, of course, but we all make them. If you were recently married, but have realized that it was a big mistake and you’re ready to work on finalizing a divorce… well, I don’t know the specifics yet, but I’d venture to say that it’s not even that big of a mistake. Sure, it’s a bit of a complication, and you’re probably feeling a little bit embarrassed, but a couple months of marriage and then a quick … [Read more...]
Form Internet Separation Agreement
Form Internet Separation Agreement Reason number 2390123 I am more than a little terrified of random form documents that people find on the internet… Okay, well, honestly, in this case, two reasons: (1) people put in things that are in the form agreement “because it was on the form and just thought it needed to be in there” and (2) they put in provisions that aren’t enforceable or don’t make sense and then end up disappointed or annoyed and also in a position where they have to spend a lot of … [Read more...]
Are we separated already?
Are we separated already? There’s a lot of confusing surrounding separation in Virginia, and, honestly, it’s really no wonder. In Virginia, there’s no such thing as going down to the courthouse and formally filing some document that indicates officially, once and for all, that you and your soon to be ex husband are legally separated. That would be nice, though, wouldn’t it? But it just doesn’t work that way, as much as you (or I, really!) might wish that it did. And, anyway, it’s not really … [Read more...]
Can you recommend any good mediators in Virginia?
Can you recommend any good mediators in Virginia? I get asked for recommendations all the time. For lawyers practicing in other areas of law, for therapists for divorcing women and their children, for cool lunch spots in the Hilltop area near our main Virginia Beach location (hey, I’m good at that one!), and even, sometimes, for mediators. Ugh, mediation. It is seriously one of those parts of divorce that gives me such anxiety, I can’t even tell you. Mediation can be so great. It’s possible! … [Read more...]
Already Signed Separation Agreement
Already Signed Separation Agreement I met with a woman the other day who, from the moment she sat down, told me that she had just signed whatever her husband put in front of her because she wanted to keep things amicable. They have four children in common, and parenting was – understandably – her primary concern. He told her that they’d share custody. But the agreement said that dad would get primary physical custody, and mom would only get visitation every other weekend. She was under … [Read more...]
