Custody and visitation when you live separate in the same home After you’ve decided to separate, but before you reach an agreement about how all the assets and liabilities should be divided (or, alternatively, before a judge has a chance to hear the case and render a verdict), there’s a fair bit of gray. What happens with everything – but, probably, most specifically, what happens with respect to custody and visitation – is up in the air. It’s not a really good place to be. Uncertainty … [Read more...]
Separation Basics
Separation is one of those areas where a lot of people get tripped up. I think, most of the time, they really overthink it, and with separation, like with most things, that can cause a lot of confusion. Because it’s legal (at least, I guess that’s why?) they think it has to be a lot more complicated than it actually is. In Virginia, you are separated when two things happen: (1) you form the intent to end the marriage (which you can do unilaterally), and (2) you stop cohabitating. We went … [Read more...]
Are we separated if he sleeps on the couch?
Separation in Virginia, like most everywhere else, is often the first step towards divorce. But a lot of women are often confused about what it means to separate or be legally separated in Virginia. What’s required? How do you have to change your behavior? Is there any paperwork that goes along with a legal separation? Does what you’re doing already count, or do you have to do something more? The first time I talk to a lot of women, they've already made some changes. One of the first is often … [Read more...]
Is a legal separation just a pit stop on the way to divorce?
For a lot of people, a separation is a time out, not necessarily a step towards divorce. I’ve heard people say things like, “I don’t want to separate, because I’m afraid that is automatically going to lead to divorce—but I really would like a break to figure out what I want.” Even though separation is often a step away from a divorce, that’s not always the case. Lots of people, for whatever reason, separate first—and then figure out their next steps later on. There’s no reason that a separation … [Read more...]
Separation from husband
We have a lot of resources for Virginia women facing separation, divorce, and custody cases, but one of the most common questions we get relates to how to even start the process. “I want a separation from my husband,” women tell us. “How do I start? When am I separated? What do I do to make sure my separation is legal?” Or, on the other side of the equation, we get questions like, “He says we’re separated, but how do I know? Are we actually separated? What if I don’t want to be?” These are … [Read more...]
Filing for Legal Separation in Virginia
The first step towards divorce, for most couples, is a separation. Most people refer to it as a “legal” separation, though, in Virginia at least, there’s no actual, technical “legal” status. There are no forms to file, no protocol to follow; you are simply separated at the point when you decide to become separated. In Virginia, to be separated, it doesn’t even require a meeting of the minds; one of you alone is enough to make the decision to separate. It’s a mindset thing, a decision. And it … [Read more...]
What if he kicks me out?
The early days of a divorce or separation are the worst. It’s when both fears and tempers are at their worst, which causes lots of otherwise perfectly rational people to make decisions that they wouldn’t ordinarily. Under normal circumstances, idle threats wouldn’t cause a World War III level fight; in the beginning of a divorce or separation case, though, all bets are off. Many of the women I met with, at least initially, are panicked. They’re filled with anxiety and worried about the future. … [Read more...]
