Four Way Settlement Conference There’s not a lot of magic when it comes to being a divorce lawyer. I think that a lot of people think there is – magic words we put in agreements, or magic tactics we have to make the unmanageable somehow manageable. The truth is, though, that (although I wish there were), there’s nothing very magical about what we do. We’re fastidious; we’re meticulous – but we’re not magical. Since all we do is divorce, we have a ton of relevant experience when it comes to … [Read more...]
Will I be charged with adultery?
Will I be charged with adultery? So, as you probably already know (or you wouldn’t be reading this article), adultery is a crime in Virginia. It’s also grounds for divorce. But what happens if you file for divorce (or your husband files for divorce) and alleges adultery as the grounds? This is especially a concern for active duty military servicemembers, where adultery is expressly forbidden and could result in a dishonorable discharge at worst, or a whole host of other consequences – from … [Read more...]
Staying in an Unhappy Marriage for the Kids
Staying in an Unhappy Marriage For the Kids I get it. Your kids are your life, and there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for them, including (but not limited to) staying in your unhappy marriage. But what’s the right choice? Do you stay, knowing that it’s entirely possible that your kids are aware of more tension than you even realize? Or do you go, knowing that you’ll forever change their family dynamic and force them to adjust to a new – potentially harmful – normal? No one can make that … [Read more...]
Narcissists and the Drama Triangle in Virginia Divorce
Narcissists and the Drama Triangle in Virginia Divorce I recently read a really interesting article that really helps to explain some of the ways a narcissistic husband will try to manipulate a situation to their advantage. For their spouse, the behavior is toxic, damaging, and, oftentimes, really difficult to separate themselves from. Partially, it’s just the way we’re built. You know, psychologically. They say that men get their sense of self worth from external things, like the job they … [Read more...]
Virginia Spousal Support Changes 2018-2019
Virginia Spousal Support Changes 2018-2019 If you’re separating (or already separated), headed towards divorce, and hoping that your divorce settlement or decree will include an award of spousal support, there’s a lot that you should know. The law is in a state of flux right now, and so, so, so much is changing. Things that divorce attorneys like me treated as an established fact are changing – and changing so drastically, so quickly! – that you’ll definitely want to be aware of what’s … [Read more...]
Financial Abuse in Virginia Divorce
Financial Abuse in Virginia Divorce Financial abuse is a major issue in many divorce cases, especially when there’s a big disparity in income between the parties. For two spouses with a roughly similar income (even if that income isn’t super large), the act of separating and setting up separate houses, though difficult, isn’t nearly as complicated or as consuming as in a case where the parties are on a total different financial playing field. Unfortunately for many women who find themselves … [Read more...]
Temporary Agreements in Divorce and Custody
Temporary Agreements in Divorce and Custody Temporary Agreements are complicated issues in divorce and custody cases. If your husband (or child’s father) proposes one, you should proceed with extreme caution. That being said, we often use temporary agreements for all sorts of reasons. I’m working on one right now for a client who needs custody and spousal support determined on a temporary basis. It happens fairly frequently that, though we can reach an agreement about some issues, we can’t … [Read more...]
Should I sign…? Separation Agreements in Virginia
I met with a woman the other day who had a separation agreement – prepared by her mediator – that she wanted me to review. She had gone to mediation with her husband, and then they had modified the agreement. She wanted me to tell her whether it was a fair offer for her. It had some promising items. Her husband was agreeing to pay off her student loan debt (incurred before the marriage), pay off her car loan, and pay a pretty significant sum in spousal support. “Should I sign?” she … [Read more...]
Litigated Virginia Divorce
I spend a lot of time talking here about separation agreements, uncontested divorces, and how, in general, it's often ideal to avoid going to court to have your assets and liabilities divided. In most cases, that's quite true. But "most cases" is not every case, and you have to think critically about your case, and your unique situation, when figuring out what the best course of action for you, in your specific circumstances, might be. An uncontested divorce, though ideal, may not always be … [Read more...]
Dealing with an abusive husband during Virginia divorce
I rarely have an opportunity to see a husband abuse his wife – my client – first hand. Obviously, most of these abusers lawyer up pretty quickly, and they’re often pretty good at putting on a good face in public. After all, isn’t that characteristic abusive spouse behavior? Awhile back, though, I witnessed – first hand – the abuse that my client had described from her husband. My client, the breadwinner, was stressed to the max financially, and had let slip a particular service that her … [Read more...]
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