3 Things to Keep in Mind When Refinancing Your Home Real property is often one of the biggest items to address in divorce and we have to figure out what will happen to it. A lot of our clients tell us they want to keep living in the former marital home after the divorce, which typically involves a refinance. There are things you need to keep in mind when making that decision: The first question to ask is” Do I Need to Refinance?” If you and your husband are listed on the mortgage and deed, and … [Read more...]
I can’t afford a Virginia divorce lawyer
I can’t afford a Virginia divorce lawyer. Legal representation is expensive. I get it. And it’s often especially scary because, at the beginning of a case, it is difficult to know how far and how long it’ll go. Family law attorneys take cases on retainers, and work is done on an hourly basis. We don’t know how long a case will last, or what it will take, before all is said and done. And with some cases – like custody, appeals, or enforcement of an agreement – things can pop up later on down … [Read more...]
Should I sign this separation agreement?
Should I sign this separation agreement? Every so often I hear from a woman who, panicked, tells me she has to have a separation agreement reviewed TODAY. She has to sign it right now, or there’ll be dire consequences. It’s an emergency! It has to be done now! I hate these conversations for a lot of reasons, but, first and foremost, because I believe this is when really bad decisions with really long reaching consequences are made. Separation agreements are never something that should be … [Read more...]
What IS Girl’s Night Out? Should I go?
What IS Girl’s Night Out? If you’ve been around for a little while (you know, kind of scoping us out to see who we are and what we’re about), you’ve probably seen that we have an event series called Girl’s Night Out. But what is it? Should you go? Would you feel weird if you did? Is it just a bunch of people, sitting around, harping on and on about divorce? (Because that doesn’t sound like very much fun to anyone, I’m sure, including me, and I often sit around harping on and on about … [Read more...]
Four Way Settlement Conference
Four Way Settlement Conference There’s not a lot of magic when it comes to being a divorce lawyer. I think that a lot of people think there is – magic words we put in agreements, or magic tactics we have to make the unmanageable somehow manageable. The truth is, though, that (although I wish there were), there’s nothing very magical about what we do. We’re fastidious; we’re meticulous – but we’re not magical. Since all we do is divorce, we have a ton of relevant experience when it comes to … [Read more...]
Will I be charged with adultery?
Will I be charged with adultery? So, as you probably already know (or you wouldn’t be reading this article), adultery is a crime in Virginia. It’s also grounds for divorce. But what happens if you file for divorce (or your husband files for divorce) and alleges adultery as the grounds? This is especially a concern for active duty military servicemembers, where adultery is expressly forbidden and could result in a dishonorable discharge at worst, or a whole host of other consequences – from … [Read more...]
Staying in an Unhappy Marriage for the Kids
Staying in an Unhappy Marriage For the Kids I get it. Your kids are your life, and there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for them, including (but not limited to) staying in your unhappy marriage. But what’s the right choice? Do you stay, knowing that it’s entirely possible that your kids are aware of more tension than you even realize? Or do you go, knowing that you’ll forever change their family dynamic and force them to adjust to a new – potentially harmful – normal? No one can make that … [Read more...]
Narcissists and the Drama Triangle in Virginia Divorce
Narcissists and the Drama Triangle in Virginia Divorce I recently read a really interesting article that really helps to explain some of the ways a narcissistic husband will try to manipulate a situation to their advantage. For their spouse, the behavior is toxic, damaging, and, oftentimes, really difficult to separate themselves from. Partially, it’s just the way we’re built. You know, psychologically. They say that men get their sense of self worth from external things, like the job they … [Read more...]
Virginia Spousal Support Changes 2018-2019
Virginia Spousal Support Changes 2018-2019 If you’re separating (or already separated), headed towards divorce, and hoping that your divorce settlement or decree will include an award of spousal support, there’s a lot that you should know. The law is in a state of flux right now, and so, so, so much is changing. Things that divorce attorneys like me treated as an established fact are changing – and changing so drastically, so quickly! – that you’ll definitely want to be aware of what’s … [Read more...]
Financial Abuse in Virginia Divorce
Financial Abuse in Virginia Divorce Financial abuse is a major issue in many divorce cases, especially when there’s a big disparity in income between the parties. For two spouses with a roughly similar income (even if that income isn’t super large), the act of separating and setting up separate houses, though difficult, isn’t nearly as complicated or as consuming as in a case where the parties are on a total different financial playing field. Unfortunately for many women who find themselves … [Read more...]
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