Divorce puts many a woman in a pretty tough spot financially. It can be hard to get your feet back under you afterwards, and it's tempting to think of any place where you might be able to skim a little money oft the top in an attempt to reestablish some degree of normalcy. In virtually every case, there's a measure of cutting back involved. After all, when you were married, you had a certain level of income, whether it was one or two, supporting all of you in one household. Once you separate, … [Read more...]
Refinance and Divorce
In case you haven’t heard, mortgage rates are really low right now, which may or may not have you thinking about a refinance. I get it; in fact, my husband and I just refinanced ourselves, which is what leads me to our discussion today. Well, that, and a recent consultation I had. In my consultation, the woman asked whether she should refinance now or later, with a specific goal of the refinance being that she and her husband wanted to take money out to cover their youngest daughter’s college … [Read more...]
How are medical expenses shared in divorce?
How are medical expenses shared in divorce? Whether you’ve got some kind of pre-existing condition, are generally accident prone (or your children are), or just worry about the unexpected, it’s a good idea to ask questions about how medical expenses are shared during and after divorce, especially if you and your soon to be ex husband have children in common. Medical expenses can be huge, especially if you (or your children) already have a condition that requires medical treatment. For a lot … [Read more...]
Changing your name after Virginia divorce
Changing your name after Virginia divorce If carrying his name after divorce really gets under your skin, I have good news for you. It’s super easy to petition the court for a name change to resume a former or maiden name during the divorce process. Of course, for many people, keeping the same name as the kids is important, even if you’d really rather not still carry your ex-husband’s name. I can’t weigh the pros and cons for you, but, if you do decide that you’d like it changed, that’s … [Read more...]
Do you specialize in military divorce?
Do you specialize in military divorce? When you hire an attorney, you probably want to know that the attorney you’ve hired (or are considering hiring) has experience with cases similar to yours. This is especially true for military spouses. In some ways, I find it a little silly, to be honest. After all, a divorce is a divorce, and, in Virginia, regardless of whether you’re military or civilian, there are only so many options available to you. It’s not like military divorce is this magical … [Read more...]
Negotiating with your husband without your attorney
Negotiating with your husband without your attorney Some people are chronic negotiators. Depending on their circumstances, the nature of their relationship with their soon to be ex, and the facts surrounding the separation, this may or may not be a good thing. I’ve had a handful of really strong minded clients in my day, who come in and tell me what they want. Then, they go home, and tell their husbands. And their husbands just…do it. For whatever reason, they just jump on that train, and … [Read more...]
Should I sign this separation agreement?
Should I sign this separation agreement? Every so often I hear from a woman who, panicked, tells me she has to have a separation agreement reviewed TODAY. She has to sign it right now, or there’ll be dire consequences. It’s an emergency! It has to be done now! I hate these conversations for a lot of reasons, but, first and foremost, because I believe this is when really bad decisions with really long reaching consequences are made. Separation agreements are never something that should be … [Read more...]
Narcissists and the Drama Triangle in Virginia Divorce
Narcissists and the Drama Triangle in Virginia Divorce I recently read a really interesting article that really helps to explain some of the ways a narcissistic husband will try to manipulate a situation to their advantage. For their spouse, the behavior is toxic, damaging, and, oftentimes, really difficult to separate themselves from. Partially, it’s just the way we’re built. You know, psychologically. They say that men get their sense of self worth from external things, like the job they … [Read more...]
Virginia Spousal Support Changes 2018-2019
Virginia Spousal Support Changes 2018-2019 If you’re separating (or already separated), headed towards divorce, and hoping that your divorce settlement or decree will include an award of spousal support, there’s a lot that you should know. The law is in a state of flux right now, and so, so, so much is changing. Things that divorce attorneys like me treated as an established fact are changing – and changing so drastically, so quickly! – that you’ll definitely want to be aware of what’s … [Read more...]
New Blended Military Retirement
Military retirement is changing, and gone are the days where we could determine what a person’s total retirement benefit would be if we knew a few things, like rank, years of service, and base pay. Beginning in January 2019, new military service members who join the Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, Marine Corps, or reserves will become a part of the new blended retirement system. The blended retirement system is more similar to the system for federal employees, and has been touted by the … [Read more...]
