Military retirement is changing, and gone are the days where we could determine what a person’s total retirement benefit would be if we knew a few things, like rank, years of service, and base pay. Beginning in January 2019, new military service members who join the Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, Marine Corps, or reserves will become a part of the new blended retirement system. The blended retirement system is more similar to the system for federal employees, and has been touted by the … [Read more...]
Should I sign…? Separation Agreements in Virginia
I met with a woman the other day who had a separation agreement – prepared by her mediator – that she wanted me to review. She had gone to mediation with her husband, and then they had modified the agreement. She wanted me to tell her whether it was a fair offer for her. It had some promising items. Her husband was agreeing to pay off her student loan debt (incurred before the marriage), pay off her car loan, and pay a pretty significant sum in spousal support. “Should I sign?” she … [Read more...]
What if I lied to my Virginia divorce attorney?
What if I lied to my Virginia divorce attorney? It happens sometimes that our clients lie to us. I get it – it’s scary. It’s overwhelming. And there are maybe some facts in your case that you’re not entirely proud of – and may be intensely embarrassed of. You may be afraid of what might happen if those details get out. It’s not that uncommon. First thing’s first. Hire an attorney that you’re comfortable talking with. Lots of stuff in divorce and custody cases is uncomfortable. (Trust me, I … [Read more...]
What not to wear to divorce court
What not to wear to divorce court I feel like there’s a whole list of things I shouldn’t have to say about what to wear when you go to court, but, then again, people wear things sometimes that make me shake my head. Whenever I’m in juvenile court, it seems like there’s always someone who thought it was appropriate to roll out of bed and attend court in their pajamas. Or, alternatively, (and, honestly, I’m not sure which is worse) there’s another contingent who prefer to wear the clothes they … [Read more...]
Divorce Virginia Seminars
Divorce isn’t easy. And, if you’ve never been divorced before (or even if you have), there’s probably a lot you don’t know. That’s not your fault. There’s a lot to know, and the law is constantly changing. Besides that, it’s very state specific, so even what you know from your friend’s divorces doesn’t necessarily translate to yours, in the here and now in Virginia. Besides, there are steps you can take now so that you can educate yourself, and make sure you know what you need to know about the … [Read more...]
Can my husband record our conversations in my Virginia divorce case?
On Monday, we talked about communicating with your husband during your divorce or custody case. Let’s just say that it isn’t easy, especially if he’s antagonistic and mean. It happens fairly often that we get a case where the parties become consumed by “evidence”. They want to gather all kinds of information in an attempt to make the other party look bad. They seem to think that if they can just get the perfect piece of evidence – an admission, or something where the other party is freaking … [Read more...]
Talking to your Husband in your Virginia Divorce
So, obviously, talking to your husband during your divorce isn’t the easiest thing in the world. In fact, in my experience, it’s one of the hardest. Tensions are high. Trust is low. It’s hard, sometimes, to keep your cool, even if you’re generally really good at that sort of thing. You’re not alone. Communication is one of the most difficult things for many women through divorce or custody cases. It’s also one of the most important, because it can come back to haunt you in your … [Read more...]
Do I need a therapist in my Virginia divorce?
Do I need a therapist in my Virginia divorce? On Monday, I talked about divorce coaches and how useful they can be in Virginia divorce. I talked a lot about the emotional issues that many women face during the divorce process, and how important it is to deal with those issues alongside the divorce related issues. I get it. What you’re going through (or getting ready to go through) is scary. It’s huge. In fact, I’ve read that the experience to divorce is very similar to dealing with the death … [Read more...]
Virginia Divorce Coaches
Divorce isn’t an easy process, no matter who you are. If you’re feeling anxious and depressed and overwhelmed and emotional, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s totally normal to be feeling any one or some combination of all of those feelings. Divorce involves tremendous changes that are difficult (and even traumatic) for people to handle. When you think about all the things that a marriage combines – a house, retirement accounts, investments, children, debt, insurance – it’s a little … [Read more...]
Should I take my husband to court?
Divorce and custody cases aren’t like personal injury cases. At the end of the day, all you have to divide is what was already there to begin with – so, most of the time, people wind up with less than they had before. I mean, if you think about it, it makes sense. If you sell your house, split the proceeds, and then buy two separate residences, there’s expense there. Two mortgages, two sets of utility bills, and so on. So, when it comes to thinking about how to handle your divorce, it’s wise to … [Read more...]
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