Marital Agreements and Eventual Divorce It’s not always possible for a couple to say, at the very beginning of the process, that they will or won’t ultimately get divorced. For many, there’s a desire to save the marriage, if at all possible. In some of those cases, a marital agreement may be one way to at least attempt to save it before formally putting divorce on the table. In a lot of cases, something specific went wrong – or there’s some sort of specific cure that the parties imagine … [Read more...]
Why would I file a contested divorce in Virginia?
Why would I file for a contested divorce? In many cases, it’s not necessary to use fault based grounds for divorce. After all, if you file on fault, you’ll have to litigate to prove to the judge that your grounds exist. Because, depending on the grounds, different civil and criminal penalties apply, you’ll have to meet a specific burden of proof, and that will likely involve a fair amount of attorney time as well as pretty strong evidence and witnesses to testify (and survive cross … [Read more...]
Is collaborative divorce right for me?
When it comes to divorce, there’s often a lot of fear involved. One of the biggest fears – for husbands and wives – is the threat of litigation. Litigation, though useful in certain circumstances, is complicated. It’s incredibly costly, with parties often spending far, far more than their counterparts pay for negotiated, mediated, or collaborative divorces. Though the costs can vary dramatically, depending on the type of complexity of the issues involved, it’s probably safe to say you’ll … [Read more...]
When you and your child’s father disagree on a diagnosis
It's hard to have a child with special needs. In this instance, I'm defining "special needs" pretty broadly, to include anything from a child so disabled that he or she will never live independently, and something as small as a general IEP or 504 plan for ADD. A "special need", as far as I'm concerned, is anything that means your child might need a little extra attention or help along the way. Unfortunately, in all too many custody cases, the parents disagree about the extent to which a … [Read more...]
Virginia Child Custody: Moving and Taking the Kids
Moving and taking the kids If you and your child’s father are no longer together, it makes sense that, sooner or later, one or both of you will find someone else. And it probably goes without saying that your someone else comes with his own baggage as well. Blending families – and making it work – is a complicated contention even in the best of situations. But in some of the more tricky scenarios, it can seem downright impossible. One of the most common scenarios I see is when a new … [Read more...]
How do I get him to agree to my terms?
How can I convince him to agree to my proposed distribution of assets? I’m continuing a conversation that I’ve been having all week, about a woman I met at a recent Second Saturday seminar monthly divorce seminar for Virginia women. On Monday, I discussed the kinds of records you should have to prepare for your divorce, and on Wednesday I continued with a discussion about dividing personal property in divorce. (Like I said, this lady had a LOT of questions!) She was also concerned about … [Read more...]
The Fifth Amendment and Adultery
Like everyone else, I’m a little obsessed with Hamilton right now; I saw it at Chrysler Hall this past winter, and watched it on July 3rd as soon as it came on Disney+. I’m also (no secret here) a Virginia attorney, and I’ve been reading up, since July 1st, on the new law changes that went into effect. One of the newest relates to the Fifth Amendment and claims of adultery. It makes me think of an exchange between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr in the song ‘Non-Stop” where Hamilton is … [Read more...]
Un-Signing a Prenup
I talked last week about cases where a prenup is already signed (spoiler alert: YES, it IS a big deal!). The gist of it is that, in any case, a legal contract like a prenuptial agreement or a separation agreement exists in order to modify the law, and to make specific conditions apply to the case that may or may not be the ones prescribed by law. Without a prenup, the law is designed to treat property earned, purchased, or acquired during the marriage as marital property, which is to say that … [Read more...]
Should I send my kids for visitation during the pandemic?
Should I send my kids for visitation during the pandemic? I’ve written a bit on this before, but it was early on in the pandemic. It feels like eons ago to me now; the shock of actually facing a pandemic – which, to me, still sounds a bit like an actual plague – was surreal. When the schools were closing, back before the stay at home order was originally issued, it seemed like a fluke. A blip on the radar before things would go back to normal. Of course, I’ve always done what I was supposed … [Read more...]
How expensive is a divorce in Virginia?
How expensive is a divorce in Virginia? “Divorce is expensive.” I know that was certainly my impression, before I started practicing family law, though I can’t tell you now where I heard it first. I can’t tell you, even, what “expensive” means, exactly, because I think it’s probably safe to say that it means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. How much it actually costs is so difficult to say because there are so many different variables that ultimately affect it. Is … [Read more...]
