How much control does he have over where I live? “Control” is a common theme in divorce and custody cases. The truth is, though, that if you and your soon to be ex husband have children in common, there are often a lot of strings attached, though you may be surprised to find that it’s not your husband pulling the strings – it’s the court. It’s also not you that the courts have any authority over, it’s the children. After the divorce, you and your husband are legal strangers. He doesn’t have … [Read more...]
Will my husband return my children?
Will my husband return my children? There’s nothing worse in a contested custody case between the time when the parents separate or otherwise break up and when custody is determined by the judge (or agreed upon by the parties). It’s a legal gray area. Technically, as parents of the child, both of you have the legal right to do whatever you’d like with your children – move, travel, whatever. That’s not a very good feeling if your child’s father is unpredictable or threatening, and if you … [Read more...]
Pinterest and Virginia Divorce
Pinterest Issues and Virginia Divorce It seems like, at some point or another, I’ve run across an issue related to almost every social media platform. It’s a little frustrating, sometimes, because, at some point, a person made the decision to post, share, pin, or tweet something that they didn’t HAVE to post, share, pin, or tweet, and now it’s an issue. I mean, it’s not like social media is ever a life or death situation where you HAD to share something. It’s a choice, and it’s a choice that … [Read more...]
What is a Guardian ad litem?
What is a Guardian ad litem? Nothing strikes fear in the mind and soul of a mom more than the threat of a custody case – especially when dad is unreasonable, unwilling to compromise, or somehow an inappropriate caregiver. It happens a lot. Even dads who were never formerly involved – or who did some terrible things – can petition the court for custody and visitation. Dads can even petition the court for visitation of a child who is a breastfeeding infant. Really, any dad, at any time, in any … [Read more...]
Can my child’s other parent refuse to allow me to leave with the child?
Can my child’s other parent refuse to allow me to leave with our child? We get a lot of questions about what your child’s other parent can and can’t do as the situation moves towards a separation. I get it – it’s scary, it’s emotionally charged, and it can get ugly, really, really fast. There’s really nothing that pulls on our heartstrings quite as quickly and aggressively and viscerally as our children. We can’t help it. It’s biological. But what do you do? You can’t stay where you are … [Read more...]
Is Virginia child custody temporary or permanent?
Is Virginia child custody temporary or permanent? Getting custody and visitation in place may feel like some kind of medieval torture. Whether you’re able to agree (after a fair amount of negotiation) or whether you ultimately need a judge to render a decision, it’s rarely an easy thing to do. When things go south between you and your child’s father, well, all bets are off. Things that you and he used to agree on (or, at least, things that didn’t stir up a major battle) can suddenly become hot … [Read more...]
Communication when your child is sick
Communication when your child is sick Having a sick kid is bad enough. Having to deal with your child’s father while you have a sick kid is even worse. Most agreements – and court orders – specify that when the child is in your care, you need to notify the child’s other parent of any illness or injury. Now, I think we can be reasonable here, and assume that doesn’t mean that you have to let your child’s father know every single time your child sneezes or has a slightly runny nose. (Unless, … [Read more...]
Do I have to respond to my child’s father’s requests for information?
Do I have to respond to my child’s father’s requests for information? When your child’s father abandons you, there are hard feelings. I’ve heard some pretty horrific and heart rending stories throughout the course of my career, and, even though I’ve been doing this a pretty long time at this point, it still weighs on me. A woman I talked to the other day told me how, at two weeks postpartum, she went for a visit to her parents for two weeks. When she got to her parent’s house, her husband told … [Read more...]
What if we want to change our separation agreement later?
What if we want to change our separation agreement later? Things change, especially when your family is in flux. In a divorce, all sorts of things can change, even within a relatively short period of time. If you’re in the military, the chances that things will change increase exponentially. I can’t count the number of times that we’ve negotiated a custody and visitation agreement, only to turn around and find that someone is PCSing. Even with civilian families, things can change at the drop … [Read more...]
I drafted a Separation Agreement, but he won’t sign. What next?
I drafted a Separation Agreement, but he won’t sign. What next? You’ve agonized over the decision for months – sometimes, even years. After reflection and prayer and therapy and everything else you could think of to try, you’re ready to move forward with your divorce. I’ve seen it so many times! The initial consultation is often filled with tears, but, by the end, the woman walks out of our office a little taller, a little straighter, a little bit more confident. By the end of the process? … [Read more...]
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