It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s a truth that you should accept, and the earlier the better. Custody cases are not about fairness. There are lots of things about custody cases that are “unfair”. It’s not fair that he can petition, over and over again, for a modification based on a material change in circumstances. It’s not fair that, if you win at the juvenile court, he can appeal to the circuit court. It’s not fair that he can ask for a GAL or a custody evaluator to be involved, who … [Read more...]
Virginia Same Sex Custody and Visitation Cases: Part Two
On Monday, we talked about issues that gay parents face in custody and visitation cases, with specific emphasis on couples who have always been gay. I don’t say “always” to ignite any kind of nature or nurture debate, but merely to illustrate that there are some differences between gay partners who had children together and divorced, heterosexual couples where one parent engages in a subsequent same sex relationship. Though these people, too, have likely “always” been gay (and I certainly mean … [Read more...]
Virginia Same Sex Custody and Visitation Cases: Part One
When it comes to custody cases where same sex relationships are an issue, things get complicated really, really quickly, mostly because there are all sorts of different types and categories of relationships that fall under this heading. Not only that, but same sex relationships and how they’re treated, especially as it relates to custody and visitation determinations, is currently in a period of flux throughout the entire United States. It’s difficult to write to address these particular … [Read more...]
I’ll give it all up, just give me custody!
I’ll give it all up, just give me custody! It’s tempting to say that you’ll give up everything you’re entitled to receive in your divorce in exchange for custody. I’m a mom myself, I can totally understand the appeal. After all, there’s literally nothing in the world more important than your children. At the root of it, too, there’s also the sense that keeping as much custody as possible allows you to parent the way you always envisioned you would. There’s nothing that makes a mom feel like … [Read more...]
Already Signed Separation Agreement
Already Signed Separation Agreement I met with a woman the other day who, from the moment she sat down, told me that she had just signed whatever her husband put in front of her because she wanted to keep things amicable. They have four children in common, and parenting was – understandably – her primary concern. He told her that they’d share custody. But the agreement said that dad would get primary physical custody, and mom would only get visitation every other weekend. She was under … [Read more...]
Unmarried Stay at Home Virginia Mom
Unmarried Stay at Home Virginia Mom I’ll just say it: I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I love my kids, but they drive me crazy, too! Sometimes, I find that I am literally counting down the hours until Monday just so that I can get a little break. If you’re a stay at home mom, my hat is off to you. You do some of the world’s hardest work, day in and day out. It’s mind numbing, sometimes. Sure, it’s also the most rewarding thing in the entire universe, and those little people we’re … [Read more...]
Relocation in Virginia Military Custody Cases: Part 2
Relocation in Virginia Military Custody Cases: Part 2 On Friday, we talked about relocation when you’re a military spouse. (Spoiler alert: it’s tough!) Today, we’re going to talk about the other side of the coin – what happens in a Virginia custody case when HE relocates because of a permanent change of duty station? For the active duty military parent, relocation is a bit different. We talked about it from a military spouse perspective the other day, but, in general, that’s regarded a … [Read more...]
Celebrating Holidays When You’re Separated
Celebrating Holidays When You’re Separated Well, it’s officially November, which means that the holidays are literally right around the corner. For most people, it’s a pretty joyful, exciting time – looking forward to some extra time off of work, watching the Thanksgiving Day parade in your pajamas, enjoying Christmas breakfast with the extended fam, avoiding that annual family drama or too-long hugs from your weird uncle. If you’re newly separated, though, the holidays can be a really … [Read more...]
Grandparent and Non Parent Rights in Custody Cases Part 2
On Friday, we talked about custody and visitation cases where a grandparent – or other non parent – petitions the court for custody and/or visitation. The cases I described on Friday are otherwise normal custody cases, where mom and dad share custody and visitation of the minor children in question. In those cases, grandparents (or other nonparents petitioning for custody and/or visitation) have to meet a standard beyond the typical “best interests of the child” standard. They have to show … [Read more...]
Grandparent and Non Parent Rights in Custody Cases Part 1
Grandparent and Non Parents Rights in Custody Cases It’s a truth universally acknowledged that children are wonderful. Well, unless they’re terrible, because sometimes that happens, too. But, regardless of how terrible they might be on any particular day, they’re certainly loveable, and they wiggle their way into our hearts – and the hearts of lots of other people that they come into contact with -- in about a million different ways. When grandparents and other non parents (like aunts, … [Read more...]
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