Beginning the Virginia Divorce Process

It can be hard, in many cases, for women to know what sort of decisions they ought to be making at the beginning of the divorce process.  It can all seem so shrouded in mystery that it’s hard to know which way is up.  It’s often compounded by the fact that many husbands seem all to willing to tell their soon to be ex wives lies or half truths about how divorce law in Virginia really operates, which makes even the most independent, free thinking women terrified about the possible outcomes.

There’s no question that divorce is scary.  After all, it’s a major change from every element of life you’ve previously enjoyed.  Where you once thought you were in your forever home or you had found the man you were going to be with for the rest of your life, you suddenly find that there’s all this upheaval and change instead of the stability you previously enjoyed.   It’s a major financial transaction, too.  Most women really hate to feel like their life with their husband all boils down to numbers, but, in many ways, it really does.  It’s all about how much there is to divide (or, in some cases, how much there isn’t), and how you’ll begin to put your life together so that you can set up that happily ever after.  It may be a different happily ever after than you dreamed of as a child, but still – there’s absolutely always the potential for happily ever after.  In fact, that’s my goal, every single day – to help each client find a way to create her fresh new start.

But how do you get there?  How do you get from where you are now to happily (is that an oxymoron?) divorced?  How do you make sure that the choices you make now are the best possible choices for you and your family?  How do you minimize the expense, the trauma, the difficulty, and pave the way to the best divorce possible? Because, of course, whether or not you care about your soon to be ex husband, you do care about the potential impact on your family.  You know that the potential impact can be really profound and traumatic, and you want to minimize that as much as possible.  A good deal of that comes from having the information available to you at the beginning to make the kind of careful, considered decisions you need to make.

Let me say at the beginning, too, that there’s no “one size fits all” in divorce.  Just because I’m talking in generalities doesn’t mean that there aren’t situations that would warrant a totally different approach.  Many families benefit from a more moderate approach to a divorce, but others do require a heavier hand.  If what I’m saying isn’t sounding like your situation, you might be better off sitting down and having a one on one conversation with a Virginia divorce attorney about your options, so you can figure out what’s in your best interests moving forward.

If you’re just getting started, you want to gather as much information as possible.  Lucky for you, there’s a lot of information available.  Before you go reading everything on the internet and taking it all as gospel, though, I do want to warn you – make sure that, whatever you reference, it’s up to date, Virginia specific, and actually written by an attorney.  There’s a lot of nonsense out there!  In my somewhat cursory searches, I’ve found all sorts of terrible advice, so, you know, just make sure you consider the source.   We’ve gathered a lot of super valuable resources for Virginia women facing divorce, so I just want to make sure that you’re even aware that it’s out there.  If you’re just beginning your search, you may be just hearing about us – even though we’ve been teaching divorce seminars to Virginia women for over thirty years now.  (Well, you know, not me personally.  I’m not THAT old!)   It’s crazy to me that so many Virginians don’t even know that we have these awesome divorce seminars, or anything about our other awesome resources for Virginia women facing separation, divorce, or custody cases.

We’ve spent most of our careers making sure that Virginia women have the tools they need to understand the divorce process, and make good decisions.  So, to that end, I want to make sure you know about:

1. Our Virginia divorce book!

We have two: What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, and What Every Virginia Military Wife Needs to Know About Divorce

If you’re military, you don’t need both – just the military book will do.  But, either way, military or civilian, the book will help you get a handle on some of the Virginia specific divorce facts.

2. Virginia divorce seminars for women

Yup, we’re STILL teaching them!  After thirty years, our divorce seminars are still super popular.  Why?  Well, for one thing, each one is taught by one of our licensed and experienced Virginia divorce and custody attorneys!  It’s a great way to get your questions answered without having to pay the costs of a consultation.

3. Divorce resources for Virginia women

Our book and our seminar aren’t the only resources we have available!  We have an entire website chock full of valuable information – from our blog posts to our free reports, there’s tons of information on our site.  Chances are, whatever question you’ve got, we have an answer somewhere.  (Pro tip: use the handy search bar on the right hand side of your screen to find an on-point article or report.)

You don’t have to do it alone!  I know it’s overwhelming, and I know there’s a lot of information out there, but you’re not in this by yourself.  Thousands and thousands of women have taken this path before you, and we’ve helped them!  We’ve spent a lot of time gathering information, writing articles, and making sure that good, legally sound information is out there.  You don’t have to wonder whether you’re making the right choices.  You can find information right here, on our website, that will help you make sure that you’re making the best decisions possible for yourself and your family. For more information, or to set up an appointment to talk to one of our divorce and custody attorneys one on one about your unique case, give our office a call at (757) 425-5200.  We’re here to help!

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