For a long time, I thought the ten year myth – the idea that you had to be married for ten years to be entitled to a portion of the military retirement – was limited to military divorces only. Please note, of course, that I called it a MYTH. I didn’t realize that many civilians...
Do I have to be married for ten years to get any of his retirement?
I used to get lots of questions about common law marriage. Lately, well, not so much – until the other day. A woman asked me what, in my opinion, was a very perceptive question about whether marriage is designed to be a safeguard to protect spouses (and, in particular, lesser earning spouses). Most of the...
One disservice that I think fault-based divorce does for people who live in states – like Virginia – that allow for fault-based divorce is that it puts them in a frame of mind where proving that someone is to blame for the marriage ending is somehow important. I’ll be clear, right up front: divorce is...
Separation isn’t always the road to divorce. For some couples, probably for more couples than I even realize (because, let’s be honest, I have an unbalanced sampling), separation ultimately leads not to divorce but to reconciliation. That’s as it should be. I believe that women who want a divorce should be able to get one,...
In order to qualify for the benefits associated with marriage in Virginia, you’re going to need to actually walk down the aisle and get formally, legally married. Common Law marriage is a concept that has more or less fallen out of fashion and most states don’t recognize any kind of common law marriage designation. Though...
You’ve been married a long time – at least 20 years – and your partner is in the military. How do you know if you qualify as one of the elusive 20/20/20 spouses? Goodness knows you can’t ask your husband, a JAG attorney, or really anyone associated with the military! What is a 20/20/20 spouse?...
Hey, it’s okay! If you only recently got married, and you’ve started to think that maybe it was a mistake, I can tell you that you’re definitely not alone. In fact, I think you’re one of the luckier ones. After a year or less, there’s often very little to divide, and no one is so...
I’m always surprised when people say to me that no one takes marriage seriously anymore. It’s usually either from someone really old or someone who is (generally) happily married. The old people, it seems to me, have a different view of marriage. Basically, that it’s to be endured, no matter what. Because you said vows,...