Don’t get divorced alone! We have resources to help.

Posted on Jul 30, 2014 by Katie Carter

Whether you decide to hire an attorney or go at it on your own, you’re not really alone! The Hofheimer Family Law firm has gone to great lengths to provide Virginia women with divorce and custody cases all the information, support, and resources they could possibly need. Of course, we offer high quality legal representation by any one of our eight licensed and experienced team of Virginia divorce and custody attorneys, but we’ve also worked hard to provide other free and low cost resources for women who can’t afford to hire us.

We understand that the divorce process is overwhelming and scary, and hiring an attorney may just not be in your budget right now. Of course, we’d love the opportunity to provide you with superior, experienced legal representation in your divorce or custody case. After all, we’re the only law firm in Virginia that represents women exclusively in divorce and custody cases! Our experience is first rate, and unlike anyone else’s. However, if you (like many, many others before you) have tried to find help from Legal Aid and other free or low cost sources and been unsuccessful, you’re not alone, and we’re here to help.

Free Resources

Unlike many other law firms, we provide a number of free resources to the public. We care deeply about women who are going through the divorce process, and we want to be there to provide them as much information as possible. It’s our goal to help you minimize the number of sleepless nights by giving you tons of up to date, Virginia specific information about what really happens in divorce and custody cases at the juvenile and circuit courts all throughout the Commonwealth.

Divorce is one of those areas of law that is incredibly state specific, so it’s important that you know as much as possible about how Virginia does things, if that’s where your case is going to be. Whatever your sister’s cousin experienced in North Carolina is probably going to be very, very different from what you’ll experience here. There is absolutely no other state that does things exactly the same way as Virginia, so it really is important that you know what applies in Virginia cases.

Not only does divorce law change from state to state, but, depending on where you’re coming from, you may need specialized information, too. Particularly if you or your soon to be ex are members of the military, you’re going to need information that is specific to your unique situation. Military service members have all sorts of unique things, like pensions, BAH, SBP, and TSPs, that need special attention.

Luckily, no matter who you are or what walk of life you’re in, we offer three free books that will help give you the information you need to know about divorce and custody cases in Virginia.

What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce

Our original classic, “What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce” is a quick 107 page read that covers the basics of divorce cases in Virginia, including guidelines for separation under the same roof, how spousal support is determined, factors the judge has to consider in custody cases, how to determine your share of his retirement, how to prepare for divorce, and more.

This book is a must read for women facing divorce who are concerned about how to get started with the process.

What Every Virginia Military Wife Needs to Know About Divorce

Along the same lines as “What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce,” “What Every Virginia Military Wife Needs to Know About Divorce” is a book that helps provide Virginia women with the basic information they need to know about the divorce process in Virginia—except this time, we provide the information with a military twist. Since there are so many military families in our area, we knew this was something that was desperately needed.

Although there are a lot of resources for military families, there aren’t really a lot of places that can provide legal help, especially where divorce is concerned. So often, we see that the legal services offices are obviously biased in favor of the military service member, rather than the spouse. Not only that, but divorce is, like we discussed earlier, incredibly state specific. Most military attorneys are not licensed to practice law in the state of Virginia, so they have very little experience with Virginia law, and they can’t do anything to help you get a divorce in the Virginia courts. Sometimes, they’ll talk to you and give you advice, but can you really trust that their advice is accurate? It’s best to do a little independent research.

Learn how military assets are divided in divorce, and how the courts handle custody, especially when one parent is deployable. Request a free copy of “What Every Virginia Military Wife Needs to Know About Divorce” now.

The Women’s Custody Survival Guide

“The Women’s Custody Survival Guide” is a handbook for women who are facing custody cases, whether or not they are a part of a divorce. It is a guide through a complicated and constantly changing landscape, including courtrooms, custody evaluations, guardians ad litems, attorneys, and judges, and includes tons of important information on how custody is determined and later modified. It also includes a discussion of special issues in custody cases, including what happens when you’re breastfeeding, how custody is determined in same sex relationships, how the court views homeschooling, what to expect and how to handle abuse cases, relocation (which is a big one for military families), and custody and visitation cases where special needs children are concerned. It’s definitely a must read book!

To get your copy of “The Women’s Custody Survival Guide,” click here.

All of our books are available on our website if you visit You just have to fill out a short form with your name, email address, and physical address. Immediately, you’ll receive an electronic copy of the book in your email, so you can start reading right away. If you live in the Hampton Roads area, we’ll also send you a hard copy of the book so that you can start writing and highlighting in it. We send it in a plain white envelope with no text on the outside that would let anyone know what’s inside. If you live near our Virginia Beach office, we’d be happy to give you a copy if you stop by in person, too.

Blogs and Articles

On our website at, we also have a number of other free resources available for you to use. We’re constantly publishing articles and blogs on the family law issues that we see coming up over and over again in our practice, and we spend a lot of time going into detail on these topics so that they are as up to date, interesting, and timely as possible. Whenever a law changes or we identify a new trend, we write about it. If you’re curious about something that wasn’t covered in one of our free books, or you just want to get straight to targeted information on the issue that you’re most concerned about, give our website a try. (Hint: to find content quickly and easily, use the search bar in the middle of the top right hand side. You can look for things like “child support law changes,” “how spousal support works,” or whatever and it will help identify relevant, targeted information as quickly as possible!)


For more than twenty years, we’ve been offering seminars exclusively for the benefit of Virginia women going through divorce and custody cases. They’re really helpful, because each seminar is taught by one of our divorce and custody attorneys, so you know that the information you’re getting is the most accurate, up to date information available. Each of the attorneys is licensed in Virginia and is experienced in representing Virginia women exclusively in divorce and custody cases, so they have experience with the law, other attorneys, judges, guardians ad litem, and procedures followed in the Virginia courts.

Our seminars are offered at an incredibly low cost so that anyone can afford to attend. It’s really an incredible value, because not only do you get the opportunity to learn about divorce and custody cases from attorneys with a great deal of experience, but you also get the opportunity to ask them questions! It’s a great way to learn some key facts and make some of those critically important initial decisions.

Second Saturday

Second Saturday is our divorce seminar, and we’ve been teaching it to Virginia women for over twenty years now. It’s offered on the Second Saturday of the month in Virginia Beach and Newport News, and on the Third Tuesday of the month in Virginia Beach only. It’s three hours long, and covers the divorce process in Virginia, including separation, grounds for divorce, different types of divorce, how spousal and child support are calculated and awarded, how attorneys fees work, how to save money during your divorce, what happens in court, how to settle your divorce out of court, and tons more. It’s a great way to begin to strategize and plan for the future, and gives you an opportunity to ask questions to an attorney directly.

The cost to attend the seminar is $40 if you pre-register online at, or $50 at the door. We also offer fee waivers for women in need, so see you therapist, call Fleet and Family Support Services, or give our office a call at (757) 425-5200 for more information or to find out if you qualify.

Not only that, but once you attend Second Saturday once, you’re welcome to attend again and again at no cost to you. Your book (the one you received when you attended the first time) is your admission ticket back in. We find that there is so much information that it’s overwhelming, and women hear things differently at different points in the process. At the beginning of the divorce, they may not get much past separation and grounds for divorce, but later on they’ll be worried about what happens with the marital residence, and how those retirement accounts are divided. Come as many times as you want, and ask as many questions as you need.

Custody Bootcamp for Moms

Custody Bootcamp for Moms is an all day, super intense seminar, taught by Kristen Hofheimer, designed to help women learn the ins and outs of custody cases so that they are prepared to represent themselves in custody, visitation, and support petitions at the juvenile court level. It’s offered quarterly, in January, April, July, and October, and lasts about seven hours (or until the last woman’s last question is answered). It’s great for moms who have already hired an attorney (and want to check up and make sure that everything is happening like it should be), too!

Custody Bootcamp teaches women the ten critical custody factors that they have to base their case around, how to work with custody evaluators and guardians ad litem, how to question and cross examine witnesses, how to get your evidence in and keep his evidence out, how to make a killer opening and closing argument, and tons more.

The cost to attend the seminar is just $197, which is less than the cost of one hour with a moderately priced local attorney. At each seminar, we offer one scholarship for a woman who would otherwise be unable to afford to attend. For more information, talk to your mental health professional for a referral, or give our office a call at (757) 425-5200.


In addition to our books and seminars, we also offer  programs that may be a perfect fit for you.

Girl’s Night Out

After all this time representing women only in divorce and custody cases, we understand what you’re going through. We really do. In fact, a lot of us have been there, too.

If you’re feeling sad or lonely, it’s probably a good idea to get out of the house. That’s why we started sponsoring our Girl’s Night Out happy hour events. We host them every 4-6 weeks or so at different venues throughout Hampton Roads. We invite all of our current and former clients, and usually they bring along some of their friends, family members, or co-workers. Over time, these events have really developed, and we see such a wide variety of people. From therapists to financial professionals and entrepreneurs and nurses and teachers and coaches, we have all types of women. It’s a great way to meet new friends, network, and enjoy the company of other similarly situated women. We always have a great time, and it’s always free to attend.

For more information, check out our website by clicking here and, if you’ve already attended one of our Girl’s Night Out events, join our Facebook group at It’s a private group, so you have to attend an event and then request to join before you’ll be confirmed, but it’s where we post all the information about our upcoming events and pictures from prior events.

It’s so much fun, and we hope to see you there!

There are tons of resources out there to help you navigate through this tricky time. Take some time to take advantage of these resources for yourself, and you’ll be sure to feel a lot better. Even if you’re not ready to move forward or just want to find out a little bit more about the options available to you, this information is really helpful.

For more information or to talk about your options, please feel free to give our office a call at (757) 425-5200. Good luck!