Escaping a Codependent Relationship with an Addict

Posted on Mar 10, 2010 by Hofheimer Family Law

If you are married to an active sex addict, drug addict or alcoholic, you may be wondering if you should end your marriage. Cyclical arguments and lack of change are the hallmarks of a relationship with an addict. In spite of these problems, you may still be unsure of why you continue to remain with your husband.

During this difficult time, it’s important for you to determine if you are staying with your husband out of a sense of love and commitment or if you are unable to leave due to being in a codependent relationship.

Codependency in Relationships with Sex Addicts and Drug Addicts

Codependency arises when you can recognize that your relationship is unhealthy, but you cannot completely recognize why that is. If you are a codependent person, you are negatively affected by another person’s behavior and want to fix their behavior.

Maintaining this type of relationship with your husband is not healthy for you and does not help him to overcome his addiction. Codependent relationships are always dysfunctional to some degree.

It is important to recognize the difference between codependent relationships and healthy relationships in order to make the change:

  • A codependent would say, “If you do not change your behavior, I will stay with you and suffer pain in trying to change it for you.”
  • A healthy person will say, “If you do not change your behavior, I will leave.”

If your relationship with your husband is more like to the first example, you are likely to be involved in a codependent relationship. Speaking with a counselor or even going to a support group for families and spouses of addicts may give you the strength and clarity to improve your situation and start making healthy changes.

Learn more about how to leave an addict by visiting our library.

There are very specific rules governing divorce in Virginia. Learn about your legal options by contacting the Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer Family Law Firm. We handle divorce cases for women only, and are committed to providing the experience and compassion that you deserve and the successful results you need. Contact us today to schedule a legal consultation – (757) 425-5200.