Does no fault divorce mean it’s no one’s fault that we’re divorcing?

One disservice that I think fault-based divorce does for people who live in states – like Virginia – that allow for fault-based divorce is that it puts them in a frame of mind where proving that someone is to blame for the marriage ending is somehow important. I’ll be clear, right up front: divorce is...

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What is child and mother sabotage?

Child and mother sabotage – or CAMS – is a different way to describe a form of coercive control where dads try to alienate children from their mothers.  It’s sort of parental alienation adjacent, but it’s important to be careful when you use the words parental alienation.  While I recognize that parents can and do...

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Divorcing an Abuser: Is he gaslighting me?

If you’re asking whether he’s gaslighting you, the answer is almost certainly yes.  Right?  I mean, when it comes to abusers, nothing is up to chance.  It’s intentional and he’s doing it on purpose.  It’s designed to impact you in the most cruel way possible. The thing about gaslighting is that it often happens in...

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My Ex is Stalking Me. What Can I Do?

  With so much technology nowadays, stalking is just … too easy.  We see a lot of devices used to keep track of partners (or former partners), but there’s also good, old-fashioned, boots-on-the-ground stalking, too.  So, what can you do? Well, it depends on the behaviors.  And, I should also mention, before we get too...

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Custody cases are interesting because they can come up in a number of ways, unlike divorce.  In a divorce, you have essentially two options: (1) negotiate a signed separation agreement, or (2) litigate in court. Divorce Cases Where Custody is an Issue Divorce is filed in the circuit court. Custody, though, can present differently.  Custody...

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  Emotionally, going through a divorce or custody case (or, worse, a divorce AND custody case) is easily one of the most difficult things that you will face in your adult life.  Many therapists even liken the experience of going through divorce to a death – it’s just that traumatic. Even a good divorce –...

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Virginia Separate Debt in Divorce

We talked the other day about debt when it is marital and how it is often divided in a divorce.  But marital ASSETS are categorized as either separate or marital before they are divided – so what happens in the event that debt is separate?  It’s a good question. Typically, separate property is anything that...

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Divorce Can Be Dangerous!

I don’t want to be accused of being dramatic, at least not where divorce and safety is concerned.  I totally get that this probably isn’t a topic that you want to discuss, but if yours has been a difficult marriage, it’s a good idea to move forward keeping your safety in mind. You absolutely should...

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