Do I have to be married for ten years to get any of his retirement?

For a long time, I thought the ten year myth – the idea that you had to be married for ten years to be entitled to a portion of the military retirement – was limited to military divorces only. Please note, of course, that I called it a MYTH. I didn’t realize that many civilians...

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The dangers of separation under the same roof

For most people, there is a period of time between separation and divorce where the soon-to-be divorcing parties live together under the same roof, often with their children.  This is not so much a desirable situation – in fact, I think you could easily argue that it is anything BUT desirable – but it is...

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Single moms are always under a lot of pressure.  For one thing, life – and parenting – is hard.  For another, they’re constantly subject to the judgment of others. One way I see this play out – unfairly, in my opinion – to the detriment of mothers and children is in how other people like...

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I’m military. Can I even file my own divorce?

  In some ways, a divorce is a divorce.  Certainly, if we’re looking at things procedurally, one divorce doesn’t differ all that much from another, though there’s also no question that a military divorce involves considerations that civilian divorces don’t. Mostly, military divorces mean that there are categories of assets – BAH, SBP, TSP, the...

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What should my first steps be pre-divorce?

Most of the questions that we get – at least in the early stages of a separation or divorce – is a basic one.  “What should I do first?” It’s a good question, too, because I think it’s always smart to go into something knowing what to expect and having at least the outlines of...

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Common Coparenting Issues: Cell Phones

  It’s hard enough to be a parent in modern times; it’s even harder when you add in the difficulty associated with trying to be a collaborative coparent with your ex.  Even in otherwise happy marriages, moms and dads disagree about what is best for their kids.  In a situation where mom and dad are...

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What can I ask for in my Virginia divorce?

Just because you want a divorce doesn’t necessarily mean that you really know what you are entitled to receive – or, even more than that, what it might look like after the ink is dry on your final divorce decree.  Hey, that’s okay! You’ve probably never been in this position before and, heck, even if...

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Does Virginia recognize common law marriage?

I used to get lots of questions about common law marriage.  Lately, well, not so much – until the other day.  A woman asked me what, in my opinion, was a very perceptive question about whether marriage is designed to be a safeguard to protect spouses (and, in particular, lesser earning spouses). Most of the...

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