For most people, there is a period of time between separation and divorce where the soon-to-be divorcing parties live together under the same roof, often with their children. This is not so much a desirable situation – in fact, I think you could easily argue that it is anything BUT desirable – but it is...
The dangers of separation under the same roof
One disservice that I think fault-based divorce does for people who live in states – like Virginia – that allow for fault-based divorce is that it puts them in a frame of mind where proving that someone is to blame for the marriage ending is somehow important. I’ll be clear, right up front: divorce is...
Child and mother sabotage – or CAMS – is a different way to describe a form of coercive control where dads try to alienate children from their mothers. It’s sort of parental alienation adjacent, but it’s important to be careful when you use the words parental alienation. While I recognize that parents can and do...
If you’re asking whether he’s gaslighting you, the answer is almost certainly yes. Right? I mean, when it comes to abusers, nothing is up to chance. It’s intentional and he’s doing it on purpose. It’s designed to impact you in the most cruel way possible. The thing about gaslighting is that it often happens in...
With so much technology nowadays, stalking is just … too easy. We see a lot of devices used to keep track of partners (or former partners), but there’s also good, old-fashioned, boots-on-the-ground stalking, too. So, what can you do? Well, it depends on the behaviors. And, I should also mention, before we get too...
Emotionally, going through a divorce or custody case (or, worse, a divorce AND custody case) is easily one of the most difficult things that you will face in your adult life. Many therapists even liken the experience of going through divorce to a death – it’s just that traumatic. Even a good divorce –...
I don’t want to be accused of being dramatic, at least not where divorce and safety is concerned. I totally get that this probably isn’t a topic that you want to discuss, but if yours has been a difficult marriage, it’s a good idea to move forward keeping your safety in mind. You absolutely should...
It’s October again, which means that it’s domestic violence awareness month. Before I started working in family law, I’m not sure I realized how prevalent domestic violence actually is. It’s not all dramatic cases where there are protective orders, either. I can’t get over – even now, after over 12 years in practice –...