Are you separated – and headed towards divorce – or just separated and ultimately hoping to reconcile? Sometimes it’s clear. Other times, though, it’s anything but. In any case, whatever you’re hoping for in the long term, you probably have a lot of questions about what to expect and what you should be doing. That’s...
Advice for Recently Separated Women
In general, I feel that the question, “Should I stay or should I go?” is one that is best answered by the specific woman who is questioning whether she should end her marriage. I don’t usually like to weigh in. I may provide some general guidelines or try to give her some food for thought,...
For most people, there is a period of time between separation and divorce where the soon-to-be divorcing parties live together under the same roof, often with their children. This is not so much a desirable situation – in fact, I think you could easily argue that it is anything BUT desirable – but it is...
One disservice that I think fault-based divorce does for people who live in states – like Virginia – that allow for fault-based divorce is that it puts them in a frame of mind where proving that someone is to blame for the marriage ending is somehow important. I’ll be clear, right up front: divorce is...
Child and mother sabotage – or CAMS – is a different way to describe a form of coercive control where dads try to alienate children from their mothers. It’s sort of parental alienation adjacent, but it’s important to be careful when you use the words parental alienation. While I recognize that parents can and do...
If you’re asking whether he’s gaslighting you, the answer is almost certainly yes. Right? I mean, when it comes to abusers, nothing is up to chance. It’s intentional and he’s doing it on purpose. It’s designed to impact you in the most cruel way possible. The thing about gaslighting is that it often happens in...
With so much technology nowadays, stalking is just … too easy. We see a lot of devices used to keep track of partners (or former partners), but there’s also good, old-fashioned, boots-on-the-ground stalking, too. So, what can you do? Well, it depends on the behaviors. And, I should also mention, before we get too...
Emotionally, going through a divorce or custody case (or, worse, a divorce AND custody case) is easily one of the most difficult things that you will face in your adult life. Many therapists even liken the experience of going through divorce to a death – it’s just that traumatic. Even a good divorce –...