Should we separate?
When you separate from your husband, you make a decision to end the marriage and stop living together as husband and wife. In Virginia, you have to be separated for a certain period of time before you can get divorced–one year, unless you (1) don’t have any minor children, and (2) have a signed agreement in place–then, you can get divorced in six months.
Before many women make the decision to separate, they try just about everything to save their marriage. Some see therapists or attend marriage counseling. Others talk to attorneys and try to negotiate marital agreements. They talk to their husbands, and they talk to their mothers, and they talk to their pastors or priests. Divorce is never a decision that is undertaken lightly, and most women feel plagued with guilt. Did I try hard enough? Should I just stick it out? What about the kids?
If you’re considering a separation, there are a lot of resources out there to help you make the best decision possible.
Don’t be afraid to gather information. It’s not like opening Pandora’s Box, and you’re going to unleash all sorts of things that you didn’t intend to unleash. The more informed you are, the better your decisions will be. Learning more about the divorce process in Virginia, what you can expect, and what difference it will make for your financial bottom line doesn’t mean that you can’t decide to save your marriage later on, if that’s the right decision for you.
There are a lot of resources available on this site to help you figure out how to proceed. We have pages on deciding whether to save your marriages, common red flags seen in divorce cases, and, of course, your legal options.