In most cases, paternity isn’t a big issue. In most cases, the parties don’t dispute it – and, obviously, there’s hardly ever any issues as it relates to maternity. Right? You know full well you were in the room where it happened. Sure, there can be complications with adoptions or foster care, but that’s not really what I’m talking about today.
If you are married, your husband is assumed to be the father. If you list him on the birth certificate and he doesn’t contested it, he is assumed to be the father. You could go from either of those situations to file for custody and visitation.
If you were unmarried, though, you didn’t put him on the birth certificate, or your child’s father requests a paternity test, you may have to have it formally established with the court.
He just wants to humiliate me – he knows he’s the father.
Yes, I know it all too well – slut shaming. It doesn’t matter if he turns out to be (surprise, surprise) the father after all, he’s already tried to tarnish your reputation. He made it seem like there were other men it could have been, even if there weren’t. It doesn’t matter. In some ways, it may seem like the damage is done.
All I can say is that you should carry yourself with dignity no matter what. Calmly assert that he is the father and then let the test do the work for you. The court is used to seeing these claims and is honestly unlikely to hold it against you, unless you behave in an way that makes it look like you have something to hide.
Can I ask the court for a paternity test, too?
Sure. You may have to ask the court for a paternity test (especially if you are unmarried or you didn’t put his name on the birth certificate) if you want to get child support, custody, or visitation established.
You may very well need those things handled sooner rather than later and getting a paternity test done is a surefire way to do it. And, once established, there’s nothing else he can say, do, or even joke about with his buddies. I can’t tell you how many times I hear that someone is “allegedly,” the father or listen to men insist that paternity tests should be required in all custody cases.
Personally, I’m down – test ‘em all. Test in the hospital. Test in every case. Record the names and, most importantly, save the DNA. Cross reference it across the criminal databases while you’re at it, too. How many criminal cases might be solved with all that DNA?
But, in any case, it is not automatically required, but doing it – and especially doing it close in time to the baby’s arrival – can resolve a lot of issues. The more time goes on, if there’s any question as to paternity, the more difficult it could become to track down the father or to have child support established.
I don’t need child support. Can I just skip it?
If he doesn’t know he’s the father, you could just skip it. You can’t ask for child support, custody, or visitation without establishing paternity but, if you don’t need it, you may not care.
If he knows that he’s fathered a child, he could petition at any point and you’d have to respond. So, though you could try to not make an issue of it, it’s not entirely or exclusively up to you.
I would say, though, that not NEEDING support is relative. You might not need or want his interference in parenting, but … you might need child support, or, failing that, your child might be better off for having received support. It is your decision (unless, of course, it’s not, because your child’s father files on his own), but the extra money could be beneficial, even if you just invested it all in college savings, a high yield savings account, or other investment account for the child(ren) later.
It’s not as big of a deal to get a paternity test as you might think, especially not in the eyes of anybody in the court system. They’re used to it!
You may want or need a paternity test to get child custody, visitation, and/or child support established. For more information, to schedule a consultation, or to register to attend an upcoming divorce seminar, visit our website at hoflaw.com or give us a call at 757-425-5200.