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Divorce & Custody Law Library

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On the page below you can find links to documents, reports, publications and discussions provided by Hofheimer Family Law Firm.

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Personality Disorders and Divorce

By Katie Carter

It’s probably safe to say that, in divorce, most rational people end up settling. In terms of the financial outlay, it makes sense. Not just in the sense of what it costs to hire an attorney – which can be substantial – but in terms of the money involved in the marriage itself. You probably…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: anxiety | bipolar disorder | depression | divorce | narcissism | personality disorder | schizophrenia | separation

Recording Custody Exchanges

By Katie Carter

Coparenting is hard. It’s probably especially hard when it’s new and when everyone is still reeling from the shock of the break up, separation, or divorce. It’s hard, too, when holidays are coming up, when a new significant other is introduced, or when big changes (like a move or a new job) are on the…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: coparenting | custody | custody exchanges | go pro | parallel parenting | pen camera | protection | recording | visitation | visitation exchanges

Virginia Monthly Divorce Seminars

By Katie Carter

Divorce is scary. It can feel overwhelming. And, if you’ve never been here before – and, possibly, even if you have – it’s easy to not even know all the things that you don’t know. What are your rights? What are you entitled to receive? What responsibilities will you have? Will you receive child and/or…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: ashli pack | attorney | caitlin walters | child support | consultation | custody | divorce | divorce seminar | family law | Lori Michaud | lorna rhoades | seminar | sheera herrell | spousal support | women only

It’s no one’s business how you spend your child support

By Katie Carter

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but people LOVE to tell other people what to do and how to spend their money, and that definitely includes child support. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that a mom should have to account to dad for how the child support is spent each…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: child support | custody | divorce | free custody book | virginia

I’m embarrassed. I can’t afford a VA family law attorney.

By Katie Carter

I was giving one of our monthly divorce seminars a little while back when a woman used the Q&A function on Zoom to send me a question anonymously. (She didn’t need to do it anonymously; none of our attendees can see who else is in attendance, and only the presenter can see the name of…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: contested divorce | custody | divorce | legal representation | litigated divorce | mediation | mediator | separation agreement

Unemployment and Divorce

By Katie Carter

Let’s face it: there’s no great time to get a divorce. That’s even more true when either you or your husband is unemployed. Sometimes, there just isn’t a good resolution and, no matter how we slice it, things are not going to end up particularly advantageously for either party. That can be tough to accept,…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with:

Who can I bring to my initial consultation for divorce?

By Katie Carter

Going through a divorce is an isolating experience. Once you’ve made the decision to divorce and it’s time to schedule an initial consultation, it can start to feel really real. You’re emotional, maybe you’re also going through some unresolved trauma, and you’re worried for the future – financially, emotionally, logistically. You’re worried you’re not in…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: confidentiality | consultation | custody | DAD | family law | MOM | separation | support | visitation

Will my child have to testify in Virginia?

By Katie Carter

In almost every case where child custody is a component – which can be either a petition or a modification of child custody, visitation, and/or child support at the juvenile court level, or a divorce where there are minor children involved – the mothers tell me that their main concern is their children. On some…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: child support | child's preference | coparenting | custody | divorce | guardian ad litem | judge | parallel parenting | subpoena | testify | visitation | witness

Divorce When There’s Nothing but Debt

By Katie Carter

The worst cases are the ones where there’s really nothing to divide but debt. It’s not that it’s hard; in fact, it’s no harder to divide debt than it is to divide most other assets (and it’s easier than some, like 401(k)s). It’s mostly that, at the end of the day, absolutely no one is…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: credit card | debt | divorce | separation

Do I want to hire your family law firm?

By Katie Carter

  There are very few things that go right to the heart of all the intimate things in your life like family law. I mean, I’m biased, but I like to think that lawyers everywhere are doing good work, but family lawyers are – in my opinion – one of the categories of lawyers that…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: clients | custody | divorce | divorce attorney | divorce seminar | do it yourself | free books | girl's night out | lawyer | lawyers | separation | visitation

Will you firm work with me?

By Katie Carter

I was talking to a woman the other day who sort of surprised me. “I have ADHD and Asperger’s,” she said. “I know it’s not always easy, and people get frustrated with me. Would you firm be able to work with me?” I was surprised she asked, for one thing. Though many of us have…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: adultery | anxiety | assets | bipolar | cheating | child custody | custody | debt | depression | divorce | mail order bride | mental illness | open marriage | schizophrenia | separation | sexually transmitted disease

Virginia Divorce and Paying for Private School

By Katie Carter

In Hampton Roads, we have a lot of different kinds of school districts. In some areas, like Virginia Beach, the public schools are awesome, and many families choose to send their kids to the public schools rather than educate them privately. In other areas, the public schools aren’t seen as the best option, and many…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: child support | custody | divorce | private school

The problem with dads

By Katie Carter

As you already know, if you’ve found me and the Hofheimer Family Law website itself, I represent women only in family law cases in Virginia. I don’t – nor have I ever – represented husbands or dads, though I have a husband and a dad and I know that they are not all terrible. At…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: best interests of the child | child support | custody | dads | material change in circumstances | moms | private school | visitation

Can I represent myself in my separation agreement?

By Katie Carter

Everyone wants to save on attorney’s fees. No one likes the idea of shelling out all the money for a retainer and ultimately having very little control over how much a divorce costs. It feels like a blank check, and at a time in your life where you’re probably even more concerned about how every…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: child support | divorce | mediation | pendente lite | separation | spousal support

Am I likely to get a divorce on fault, or should I negotiate an agreement?

By Katie Carter

  A woman asked me this question the other day – am I likely to get a divorce on fault, or should I just negotiate an agreement – and I thought it was a good one. It’s one I’ve answered before, but never in those exact words, and I do think that its worth looking…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: custody | divorce | fault | mental illness | narcisist | negotiate | separation | separation agreement | trial

After Your Abusive Marriage Ends

By Katie Carter

  Being in an abusive relationship can cause you to question your own sense of reality. You live under an altered version of reality – your abuser’s reality – for so long that it causes you to lose touch of the real world, and how other people behave within it. Coming out from a long…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: battered women | divorce | domestic violence | mental illness | narcissism | narcissist | separation | substance abuse | trauma

What day to day details do I have to share with my child’s father? Part 2

By Katie Carter

  On Friday, we talked about the day to day details of your child’s life as it relates to school – pictures, report cards, parent teacher conferences, and more. One of the big questions we always get in these cases, especially as newly separated or divorced parents struggle to establish a coparenting relationship, is whether…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: birthday | birthday parties | cell phones | child support | coparenting | COVID-19 | custody | emergency medical care | non emergency medical care | parallel parenting | parenting time | vaccinations | visitation

What day to day details do I have to share with my child’s father?

By Katie Carter

  Navigating the challenges of a coparenting relationship is incredibly challenging. Even in the families who seem like they’ve got it all figured out, there was definitely a stage where they didn’t – where they struggled, where they went to therapy, where they did some soul searching, and where they felt certain that their choices…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: coparenting | custody | custody vocabulary | divorce | joint legal custody | report cards | school activities | school pictures

Virginia Abusive Divorce and Custody Litigation

By Katie Carter

  Most people want to avoid extensive litigation if at all possible. After all, it makes a case take longer, cost more, and (generally speaking) yield poorer results. Most people, after getting a couple bills from their attorney, will suddenly become much less litigious. Most people, of course, are fairly sensible. They’ll instead start to…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: abusive | best interests of the child | collaboration | custody | divorce | fault divorce | litigation | material change in circumstance | mediation | no fault divorce | separation

Virginia Divorce Case Strategy

By Katie Carter

The other night – actually, at Girl’s Night Out – I sat and talked for awhile with a woman who is in the middle of an ongoing divorce and custody case. She didn’t hire an attorney from our firm, and I could tell that she was just desperate to talk about her situation. She wanted…


Filled under: Uncategorized
Tag with: attorney | case strategy | consultation | custody | divorce | pendente lite | spousal support | trial
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FROM OUR BLOG LIBRARY:

Personality Disorders and Divorce

It’s probably safe to say that, in divorce, most rational people end up settling. In terms of the financial outlay,…

Read More
Recording Custody Exchanges

Coparenting is hard. It’s probably especially hard when it’s new and when everyone is still reeling from the shock of…

Read More
Virginia Monthly Divorce Seminars

Divorce is scary. It can feel overwhelming. And, if you’ve never been here before – and, possibly, even if you…

Read More

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