How do I get access to your Va divorce resources without my husband finding out?

Posted on Sep 22, 2021 by Katie Carter

I find that most of the issues, when it comes to divorce and custody, is that women don’t have enough information to make truly informed choices.

We come to the table knowing – or, at least, thinking we know – certain things about the divorce and custody process. Mostly, we know that court is terrible, expensive, and yields uncertain results. And since there’s so much up in the air in a divorce and custody case, and those things all relate to literally the most personal and most important parts of your life, it’s easy to feel intimidated, scared, overwhelmed, angry, or avoidant.

There are really only two ways to get a divorce in Virginia: either by agreement between the parties or by a judge in court. Ultimately, the difference comes down to whether you make the agreement between yourselves, or whether someone else does it for you.

Since so many people resolve their divorces by agreement, there are a number of ways to get that agreement in place. It’s not really a different ‘type’ of divorce, even though you’ll see lots of attorneys refer to different forms of ‘alternative dispute resolution’ as types, but are instead different ways of reaching an agreement.

Not every attorney can handle every ‘type’ either, so whether you’ll have the option available to you of some or all of the options will come down to the attorney that you meet with. It’s important to do your research ahead of time, so that you know when you sit down at an initial consultation with an attorney you’ve selected someone who can offer you what you’re looking for in the divorce process. Whether you’re after mediation, collaboration, negotiation, or do it yourself divorce, chances are good that you’ll need an attorney involved for at least some of the process.

How do I get that information – without my husband knowing?

Getting access to up to date, Virginia specific divorce information – including information about all the different ‘types’ of divorce – is easier than you probably think.

Our firm represents women exclusively in divorce, custody, and support cases, which is awesome, but what I think we really do well is provide a ton of education. We have four free books, several free reports, a library which is a literal treasure trove of information, and both a divorce and custody seminar.

There are tons of things you can read just on our website. It’s mobile optimized, so it’ll show up just as cleanly and easily on your mobile or your tablet as it would on your desktop computer.

If you’re ready to ask for more information, like to request a book or to register to attend a seminar, that’s great news.

Our books are automatically emailed out, so if you haven’t created a spouse-safe email address, now is definitely a good time to do it. Choose a user name and password that he’d never guess. You can use this email address both to receive the book (and our related communications afterwards) and also to communicate with your lawyer later, as part of your divorce.

In general, it’s a good idea to have somewhere separate to have emails and other sensitive documents sent, even if you’re not quite ready to take bigger steps just yet.

We do also send a hard copy of our books to women who are local to the Hampton Roads area. We send each book in a plain, unmarked envelope – so no one, not even your mailman, can tell what it is from the outside. If you have concerns about your husband intercepting or opening your mail before you get home, have it sent somewhere else – to a friend or neighbor’s house, or even to your work. Again, it’ll be plain and unmarked, so no one will know what it is.

What if I want to attend a divorce seminar?

Our seminars are taught live on Zoom! So, while you may not want to sit in your living room on Saturday morning and listen to it, you can listen from literally anywhere you have an internet connection.

We also teach the seminars twice a month – on the Second Saturday and the Third Tuesday of the month – so you can find a time that suits your schedule (or, at least, one that is the opposite of your husband’s schedule).

For more information about the schedule for the seminar, click here.

There’s a lot of information about divorce and custody that you’ll need to make a decision about how to proceed. You’re smart to be asking these questions. A lot of the answers can be found on our website or in the divorce seminar, and we’ve taken care to figure out ways to make sure that you can get the information as easily as possible, without your husband finding out.

If domestic violence is a concern, you may also want to get a little bit more information about protective orders in Virginia.

If you have a specific request, we can usually accommodate it – give our office a call at 757-425-5200 and we’ll help figure out a way to get the information into your hands in a way that keeps your husband in the dark.

For more information, or to schedule an initial consultation, give our office a call at 757-425-5200.