In the beginning of a divorce, most women tell me that it feels a little bit like Pandora’s Box. They want more information, but they’re afraid that, if they take steps to get it, that it’ll start a chain of events that they can’t stop.
Statistically, it’s probably true that a large number of women who reach out for divorce materials ultimately end up getting divorced. I don’t really know; that’s not something that we’re really able to track. But I don’t think that the actual act of getting the information is the thing that puts a marriage on the fast track towards divorce – only you know whether that’s the case.
Every case is unique. Every family, every marriage, every set of circumstances is entirely unique. No one can really speak to it like you can, and, ultimately, you know better than anyone whether you’ll eventually find yourself getting a divorce or not. (And, at this point, you may not feel like you know anything for certain at all, which is also completely fine and totally normal.)
At what point, though, do you start reaching out for more information?
I can’t give you YOUR answer, but I think that – if I were you – once I started wondering whether my marriage was headed towards divorce, I’d at least want to start to learn a little more about the process and what to expect.
In an ideal world, you’d know as much about divorce as possible as early as possible so that the decisions you make as your marriage heads towards the end put you in as strong a position as possible. Whatever your concerns are, chances are good that you could be making decisions specifically designed to speak to those concerns months or even years ahead of your actual divorce.
Is a divorce seminar a good place to start for Virginia divorce information?
Yes. We’ve actually got a lot of information that is really good for women at the beginning stages of a divorce. In a lot of ways, I think the decisions that you make about the divorce early on are some of the biggest and most important decisions you’ll make throughout the entire process.
IT’s important to remember that you have more control than you realize over how much your divorce costs, how long it lasts, and how good your results are. There’s a lot of variability here, and being strategic can make a huge difference.
It’s tempting, for example, to panic, make threats, or even ignore helpful information. If you escalate the situation, you might make it more difficult for you and your soon to be ex to discuss the divorce productively between each other. If you don’t know how your choices can hurt you, you can make decisions that take away legal options that are available to you. (For example, did you know that if you find out that your husband has committed adultery and you sleep with him, you’ve legally forgiven him of the adultery?)
A divorce seminar is a great place to begin to gather general, divorce and custody related, Virginia specific information. It’s a cool format, too, because it’s taught live by a licensed and experienced Virginia divorce attorney who represents women only, so you can get unique insight and even ask questions during the presentation.
I’m not ready for a seminar. It’s too scary. What are my other options?
I get that it’s scary. Divorce is scary. If you’re not ready, that’s okay! I will say, though, that it’s an online webinar these days (you know, since covid-19), so it’s even more secure and private than it used to be. In the webinar, you won’t be able to see anyone (there’s no cameras on you or any of the other attendees – only our attorneys) and they won’t be able to see you.
You can ask questions to the attorney, but you send it in a text format – which you can also opt to send anonymously, in which case no one would even see your name!
If you’re just not okay with it, that’s completely fine, too.
Have you considered downloading one of our books? We have four titles, and they’re all available for free. They have lots of Virginia specific information, so they’re a great place to start.
It’s not as dynamic as the seminar because you won’t have live attorneys there in front of you, answering your questions (and other people’s questions, too – don’t discount that!). But it’s still a really great way to begin to gather information.
Personally, I’m a reader – so I’d love the book option. But there’s no question that the seminar is a great way to begin to gather information. There’s also a ton of other free resources on our site, from our free reports to our library.
Not free, but an initial consultation is also a great way to gather information. Lots of people schedule consultations with our attorneys without intending to move forward immediately, they just want specific information or advice about their unique situation. Sometimes, that can be the most helpful thing – and, of course, also completely confidential and private.
If you’re looking for information, go get it! We definitely make it easy with all the resources available to you. We’ll even help you keep it a secret from your husband while you get your bearings.
For more information, or to schedule a consultation with a licensed and experienced Virginia divorce attorney, give us a call at 757-425-5200