When moms face custody cases, they tend to panic. The thought that they might lose custody of their kids keeps them lying awake at night, makes them burst into tears at random moments, and generally makes them nervous and paranoid.
In this article, we’re going to talk about how to plan at the beginning of your custody case, including goal setting, the vocabulary of custody cases, how the court looks at custody and visitation cases, how to protect yourself and your children during your custody case, and what happens when custody cases raise issues of abuse.
It’s absolutely understandable that you feel a little panicky, of course. When you suddenly and unexpectedly find out that you’re about to find yourself in the middle of a full blown custody case, it’s nerve wracking. It’s also probably pretty shocking, after you’ve spent years and years caring for your children (mostly on your own), to find that your child’s father has suddenly filed a petition asking the court to award custody of the children to him. Sure, he helped some before, but caring for the children wasn’t probably the number one priority on his list like it was for you. That’s pretty normal and, if your family situation is like this, you’re definitely not alone.
Strategically, the beginning of a custody case is incredibly important. The choices you make now are some of the most important decisions you’ll make, and you want to make sure you set the stage appropriately, so that no missteps prevent you from getting the kind of outcome that you want.
So, what kind of outcome do you want? What are your goals with respect to custody?
This is an important place to start. It’s easy to get emotional and have a reaction without stepping back to really think about what you expect from your custodial arrangement. I know—you want custody of your children. But do you know what that means?
Most moms admit, right out of the gate, that they want their children to be able to have a good relationship with their father. In most cases, dad is a pretty okay guy. Even though the relationship between the two of you didn’t work out, that doesn’t mean that he’s not cut out to be a dad. (Sometimes it does, and we’ll talk about that a little later.) But, still, for most parents, both parents are generally competent people who genuinely want to have a relationship with their children.
Just because he wants to spend time with the child doesn’t mean that he’s taking something away from you. Custody isn’t something that you either win or lose. The winner doesn’t get it all, or even always get his or her way. In fact, there’s really no such thing as a winner.
Let’s talk a little bit about the vocabulary of custody.
Primary physical custody
In a primary physical custody situation, the non custodial parent has 89 or fewer days with the child in a calendar year. Historically, this has been the traditional custodial relationship. Usually, we see an arrangement where dad (I say dad because normally it’s dad who is the non custodial parent) has every other weekend, Wednesday night dinners, and two uninterrupted weeks during the summer. This is probably still one of the most popular custodial arrangements, especially in cases where both parties agree to the visitation ahead of time.
Shared Physical Custody
In a shared physical custody situation, the non custodial parent has 90 or more days with the child in a calendar year. Shared doesn’t mean 50/50, though we do see 50/50 custodial relationships. Shared physical custody is a very flexible concept, and calls any arrangement shared where the non custodial parent has 90 or more days with the child in a year (so, dad could have 90 days, or he could have a full 182.5 if it were a pure 50/50 situation).
In cases where the parents end up fighting over custody, I have seen a trend towards judges awarding some kind of shared custody arrangement. One parent won’t “lose” custody and the other parent won’t “win,” but both parents will have to share the children according to some predetermined schedule.
So, what kind of custodial arrangement do you expect? If you were to set up a custody and visitation arrangement for you, your child’s father, and your children to abide by, what would it look like? What time do you want with the children, and what time will you allow your child’s father to have?
Most moms readily admit to me that they want their children’s father to play an active role in the upbringing of their children but, for some reason, when they separate from their children’s father, they suddenly want to fight tooth and nail for every single minute they can possible get for themselves. If I had to guess why they do this, when they all tell me how much they want their child’s father to be a part of their lives, I would say that it’s because with all the uncertainty a custody case brings on they feel compelled to hang on to their children tighter than ever. Deep down, they know that it’s best for everyone to have both parents be involved, but they have trouble seeing through the panic they feel.
If at all possible, have an open and honest conversation with your child’s father about what you’d like. Think about your jobs and schedules and your priorities, both together and separate. Talk to your child’s father about what each of you wants for your children as they grow up, and how the two of you can work together to accomplish your goals. This has a couple of different (but interrelated) benefits to you. For one thing, if you cooperate now, you’re more likely to reach an agreement, settle out of court, and save money that you would otherwise have had to spend on attorney’s fees. Secondly, by talking things out, you prevent the situation from escalating and, as a result, make it much easier for the two of you to coparent together. Just imagine how much more difficult it would be to swallow your pride and work together after you screamed insults at each other across the courtroom! Keeping things cordial helps you settle without going to court, save money, keep the peace, and, ultimately, keep your relationship in tact as much as possible so you can coparent together later on.
Take some time to really think about what you want out of your custodial relationship, what you want from your child’s father, and what will be best for your children. Keep in mind that the choices you make now will affect everything, from how contentious your case is and how much it costs to the most important consideration of all—how everything affects your children.
Factor Six
In Virginia, child custody decisions are made based on the so-called best interests of the child factors. They’re listed in the statute and can be viewed, in all their glory, here. I don’t want to talk about every single one of the factors in this article, though; really, I just want to address the one factor that many people who are experienced in Virginia custody cases have come to know as the mom’s downfall. Factor number six is, “[t]he propensity of each parent to actively support the child’s contact and relationship with the other parent, including whether a parent has unreasonably denied the other parent access to or visitation with the child.”
I just finished telling you how custody isn’t really a matter of winning or losing. That’s true, in most cases. However, if you withhold visitation from your child’s father, even if you think you have a pretty darn good reason for doing it, you could be opening yourself up to a world of trouble. Why? Well, really, it’s the same reason that the court is trending towards awarding shared custody, rather than primary physical custody. Judges in Virginia have articulated that they believe a child having two involved parents is in their best interests in almost every situation, so the judges tend to do whatever they can to promote both parents being active in the child’s life.
In cases where one party unreasonably withholds visitation from the other, many judges feel that a change in custody is warranted, especially where the judge feels like the other parent would more willingly and actively promote visitation. Of the cases I see where mom loses custody, many of them happen because, in the judge’s opinion, mom unreasonably denied visitation. Sometimes, it can happen innocently enough. I worry a lot when I hear moms say some of the following things.
“That’s okay, we don’t need a schedule. We’ll just wing it when it comes to visitation.”
Really, you ALWAYS need a schedule when it comes to custody and visitation. I know it sounds awful to plan ahead of time and make a “come hell or high water” kind of arrangement that doesn’t take into account anything that’s happening at the time. You can’t predict the future, how can you say that it’s okay for your child’s father to take this weekend or that holiday?
It’s tempting to come up with an arrangement where he just asks for the time he wants. Right now, you’re probably thinking that will be easier and more manageable than a situation where you divide the children’s every waking moment between the two of you in advance. But in most cases, it’s not. It’s really just asking for trouble.
You’re setting yourself up for a factor six case. No matter how reasonable you are, if you deny your child’s father visitation at a time when he felt like he should be able to have it, you’re inviting him to take you to court. If he asks for extra time and you have an agreement in place, you can say no much more easily. Not only that, but dad is less likely to feel like you’re being unreasonable or that he doesn’t have any time with the kids if he knows that he can just plan to do whatever it is that he wanted to do when he has time with the children. Knowing that he has every other weekend, for example, can go a long way towards promoting harmony between the two of you.
By all means, get a custody and visitation arrangement in place. It’s for your own protection.
“He can’t have the kids this weekend because he’s not paying child support!”
If your child’s father hasn’t been paying support, or he frequently pays support later than you feel is acceptable, that doesn’t mean you can deny him his regularly scheduled visitation. If he wants to see the children, you should absolutely let him. It’s not going to look good to the judge later if he takes you to court and you say that you withheld the children because he withheld support. In the eyes of the law, one has nothing to do with the other. You’ll look callous and calculating, and the judge will probably feel like you’re not really putting the best interests of your children first.
Don’t deny visitation just because your child’s father hasn’t paid you support, or he paid support late.
Giving up spousal support for custody
Another red flag I see is when moms talk about waiving their right to receive spousal support in exchange for their child’s father’s agreement to give up custody. On the surface, to many moms, it sounds pretty good. The most important thing to them is getting and keeping custody, and they’d do anything just for that one thing. After all, don’t attorneys always say that this is a negotiation? Set your goals, and figure out what you have to do to accomplish them. Right?
Well, in many cases, that’s true. However, when it comes to custody, it’s really not wise to give up something that you might be entitled to in exchange for custody. The reason why is that custody, like child support and visitation, is always modifiable based on a material change. Spousal support is generally not modifiable, especially if you sign a document waiving your right to receive it.
What can happen in these types of cases is that, once mom signs something waiving her right to receive spousal support, dad comes back and petitions for a change in custody. He may not get it, of course, and he’d have to demonstrate that there was a material change in circumstances to justify his filing a petition, but it’s still a possibility. I have heard horror stories about moms who waived spousal support and then ended up barely able to make ends meet. Dad, of course, remarried and filed for a change in custody and, was looking far more financially and personally stable by then, so he got custody.
Don’t give up something that you are financially entitled to based on your child’s father’s pledge to let you have custody. Anything pertaining to your children is always modifiable until they turn 18. Why? Again, it’s because the court uses the “best interests of the child” standard when dealing with minor children. It is in the child’s best interests to receive the benefit of both parents at the peak of their earning potential. When things change, the custody, visitation, and support have to change so that the children can reap the benefits.
Why isn’t spousal support modifiable? Because the court views it in the exact opposite way. While the children are entitled to the benefit of both of you at your best at any given moment, you’re only entitled to receive the benefit of what you and your husband had in your marriage. If you waive spousal support, you can’t go back and get it later—you gave it up. His change in circumstances (whether he now earns more money or has petitioned for custody when he said he wouldn’t) doesn’t change the fact that you gave up the right to receive support when you had the opportunity to ask for it.
What to do in cases of abuse
Up until now, I’ve really only been talking about divorces where both parents are relatively normal people who genuinely want the best for their children. Fortunately, these types of situations account for probably close to 95% of custody cases. Even though mom and dad can’t really get along and don’t want to continue with their relationship, they both genuinely love the child and want to be a part of her upbringing. They may disagree about a lot of things or want to make different choices regarding the child’s upbringing, but their hearts are in the right place. However grudgingly, both parents agree to work together for the sake of the children.
Sometimes, though, that really isn’t the case. Not all parents are good people who sincerely want the best for their children. If your child’s father is abusive, or you suspect that he will become abusive, whether sexually, physically, or emotionally, you want to act to protect your children as much as possible.
It’s easy to get emotional at the start of these cases. After all, your child’s well being is in jeopardy, and you know that it’s your responsibility to do everything you can to protect your child from any kind of abuse from any source. In cases of abuse, I recommend that you speak with an attorney immediately to be sure that you’re taking every possible step necessary to protect your children. Sometimes, the decisions you have to make legally are actually counterintuitive, especially when your momma bear instincts start coming out in full force, and you don’t want to make any decisions at the beginning of your case, because you’re angry or scared or being protective, that hurt your children in the long run. Be very careful, and don’t make any rash decisions until you’ve had a chance to talk to an attorney about your specific case and come up with a plan for how to move forward. Your attorney can help you come up with a plan that takes your concerns into account and helps you feel like your child will be protected. Until you’ve had that conversation, though, tread carefully.
Still, we’re going to talk about abuse cases generally, just to give you an idea. This article is meant to help give you an idea of where to start, but, if you know or suspect that your child has been subject to abuse at the hands of your child’s father, you really do need to talk to an attorney about your unique situation as soon as possible.
In cases of abuse, we typically need proof to present any information at all to a judge. Remember how we talked about factor 6 on Monday? That still applies here. If you say, “I withheld visitation because I suspect my child’s father is abusive,” the judge will want to know what evidence you have. Without evidence, you look to the judge like you’re using abuse as an excuse to keep your child’s father from having contact with the children.
Merely suspecting abuse isn’t enough. Likewise, it isn’t enough to say, “I know he will do this if he’s given half a chance.” In the court’s opinion, it is incredibly important for the child to have access to both parents. Just like in the criminal justice system, we can’t punish someone because he might steal something in the future, or deny him privileges because he probably will do something illegal eventually if he is free to do so, and we can’t take custody and visitation away from a parent just because he may actually turn out to be a bad guy.
Even if you KNOW there is abuse, you’ll need pretty serious proof to convince the judge. Something like a substantiated report from CPS would be the kind of thing the court would expect to see.
It’s ugly, and it’s not fair, but judges have seen hundreds (sometimes even thousands) of custody cases, and they’ve seen parents on both sides go to some pretty ugly extremes to get their way. The fact of the matter is that judges have seen mothers use these types of allegations to get and keep custody, and prevent their child’s father from having any contact. If you can’t prove the abuse, you risk being lumped into the same category.
So, what should I do if I know or suspect that my child has been abused?
An attorney can help you gather your evidence and present your case to the judge if you fall into this category. Abuse cases are incredibly complicated and must be carefully handled.
Here’s the risk: you go into court without good, solid evidence, and you make your claim of abuse. Your child’s father denies the abuse, obviously, and says you’re using this as a bid to keep your children away because you’re mad, upset, angry, or crazy. Without proof, the judge has no reason at all to believe your story. How can he, without evidence, facts, or exhibits to back up your story? It’s just your word against his. The judge could order a total change in custody, so that dad has primary physical custody and you have visitation. I don’t need to tell you that this is pretty much a nightmare level situation.
To make matters worse, in these types of cases, mom usually comes to court and sobs hysterically, while dad remains poised, calm, and confident. Dad says mom is crazy, and she looks a little nuts to the judge, too. (After all, who wouldn’t look and feel a little nuts if their children were being abused?) Mom says dad is a terrible abuser and a nasty person, and dad sits there in front of the judge in a nice collared shirt with his hands in his lap and a charming demeanor. While we understand the dynamics of the relationship (moms are momma bears for their kids, and abusers are generally charming and likable when you first meet them), it can be difficult for the judge to see.
In the worst cases, these factors combine to a custody perfect storm, and dad walks away with custody.
Are you saying that, even if I think my child has been abused, I shouldn’t bring it up?
Maybe. Again, I think the best thing you can do is talk to an attorney about your specific situation, and come up with a customized plan of action. Without knowing the facts of your case, it’s hard to give specific advice. However, it is possible that the absolute best course of action is to avoid the perfect storm situation, and that may mean sitting on your allegations of abuse.
Think about it: how can you protect your children if you go into court without evidence? You are practically handing your child’s father custody on a silver platter. If he’s an abuser, that’s the last person you want to have more time with your children.
In some cases, as counterintuitive as it may seem, it’s best to plan NOT to bring up any allegations of abuse, but instead focus the case on the best interests of the child factors and why mom should receive primary physical custody. After all, that’s really what the judge wants to hear—what your strengths are, how you plan to work with your child’s father to coparent the children, and how you’ll make sure to provide for the children according to the factors.
But what if my child says that she won’t go for visitation with her dad? Do I have to force her?
This is such a tricky question! Obviously, in a case like this, you don’t want to force your child to go. You’re panicked, and you don’t want any further damage to happen. You already blame yourself for what has happened so far, and you want more than anything else to shield her from anything else that could possibly happen.
The way the judge looks at it, your child is a child until the day she turns 18. Though some judges will talk to children during custody cases, it’s not generally encouraged. Not only that, but the fact remains that a minor child is not capable of making these kinds of major decisions, like which parent should have custody or whether she will go to court ordered visitation. Kids just don’t have the maturity, wisdom, and understanding to make these kinds of decisions.
Factor 6 is also still at play here, so the court is going to look at your case and try to determine whether you unreasonably denied access to the child to your child’s father. Even though you only denied it because you knew (or suspected) physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, you still need proof to make those kinds of claims. If you don’t force the child to go to visitation, it may look like you unreasonably denied visitation. Not only that, but your child’s father would probably also say that you lied to the children about him and poisoned their opinion of him in an effort to maintain control and turn them against him. Of course, if you do force your child to go, you really don’t know what could happen.
I understand that this is a terrible, awful, unimaginable catch-22. It seems like you lose either way. Either you protect your child and you risk losing custody, or you send your child and you risk something terrible happening to her.
Who is going to help me in my custody case?
Ideally, in a custody case where abuse is an issue, both mom and dad would hire attorneys to represent them. Your attorney will represent you, negotiate with your child’s father (or your child’s father’s attorney, if he’s represented by counsel), and tell the judge about your case. It’s best if both parties have attorneys, because the cases tend to run much more smoothly that way.
Your child will probably also have an attorney called a guardian ad litem. A Guardian ad litem is a person appointed to represent the child’s best interests and, ultimately, make a recommendation to the court. Usually, the GAL’s opinion is incredibly important to the judge, so it’s important that you make a good impression on the GAL in the beginning. When you have the opportunity to speak to your GAL, don’t waste time bashing your child’s other parent. Use this opportunity to discuss your strengths and your willingness to do whatever it takes (including coparenting effectively with your child’s father) to serve the best interests of your child. Talk about what you think is in her best interests, and how you plan to address it, both now and over the long term.
Be careful, though. It’s best not to think of the GAL as your friend, because he’s not. He’s an attorney, just like your attorney and your husband’s attorney, who was hired to represent your child. He doesn’t represent you or your child’s father, and you should remember that and be honest but guarded in all your communication with him.
Your best source of help will definitely by your attorney.
What to do in cases of abuse
Up until now, I’ve really only been talking about divorces where both parents are relatively normal people who genuinely want the best for their children. Fortunately, these types of situations account for probably close to 95% of custody cases. Even though mom and dad can’t really get along and don’t want to continue with their relationship, they both genuinely love the child and want to be a part of her upbringing. They may disagree about a lot of things or want to make different choices regarding the child’s upbringing, but their hearts are in the right place. However grudgingly, both parents agree to work together for the sake of the children.
Sometimes, though, that really isn’t the case. Not all parents are good people who sincerely want the best for their children. If your child’s father is abusive, or you suspect that he will become abusive, whether sexually, physically, or emotionally, you want to act to protect your children as much as possible.
It’s easy to get emotional at the start of these cases. After all, your child’s well being is in jeopardy, and you know that it’s your responsibility to do everything you can to protect your child from any kind of abuse from any source. In cases of abuse, I recommend that you speak with an attorney immediately to be sure that you’re taking every possible step necessary to protect your children. Sometimes, the decisions you have to make legally are actually counterintuitive, especially when your momma bear instincts start coming out in full force, and you don’t want to make any decisions at the beginning of your case, because you’re angry or scared or being protective, that hurt your children in the long run. Be very careful, and don’t make any rash decisions until you’ve had a chance to talk to an attorney about your specific case and come up with a plan for how to move forward. Your attorney can help you come up with a plan that takes your concerns into account and helps you feel like your child will be protected. Until you’ve had that conversation, though, tread carefully.
Still, we’re going to talk about abuse cases generally, just to give you an idea. This article is meant to help give you an idea of where to start, but, if you know or suspect that your child has been subject to abuse at the hands of your child’s father, you really do need to talk to an attorney about your unique situation as soon as possible.
In cases of abuse, we typically need proof to present any information at all to a judge. If you say, “I withheld visitation because I suspect my child’s father is abusive,” the judge will want to know what evidence you have. Without evidence, you look to the judge like you’re using abuse as an excuse to keep your child’s father from having contact with the children.
Merely suspecting abuse isn’t enough. Likewise, it isn’t enough to say, “I know he will do this if he’s given half a chance.” In the court’s opinion, it is incredibly important for the child to have access to both parents. Just like in the criminal justice system, we can’t punish someone because he might steal something in the future, or deny him privileges because he probably will do something illegal eventually if he is free to do so, and we can’t take custody and visitation away from a parent just because he may actually turn out to be a bad guy.
Even if you KNOW there is abuse, you’ll need pretty serious proof to convince the judge. Something like a substantiated report from CPS would be the kind of thing the court would expect to see.
It’s ugly, and it’s not fair, but judges have seen hundreds (sometimes even thousands) of custody cases, and they’ve seen parents on both sides go to some pretty ugly extremes to get their way. The fact of the matter is that judges have seen mothers use these types of allegations to get and keep custody, and prevent their child’s father from having any contact. If you can’t prove the abuse, you risk being lumped into the same category.
So, what should I do if I know or suspect that my child has been abused?
An attorney can help you gather your evidence and present your case to the judge if you fall into this category. Abuse cases are incredibly complicated and must be carefully handled.
Here’s the risk: you go into court without good, solid evidence, and you make your claim of abuse. Your child’s father denies the abuse, obviously, and says you’re using this as a bid to keep your children away because you’re mad, upset, angry, or crazy. Without proof, the judge has no reason at all to believe your story. How can he, without evidence, facts, or exhibits to back up your story? It’s just your word against his. The judge could order a total change in custody, so that dad has primary physical custody and you have visitation. I don’t need to tell you that this is pretty much a nightmare level situation.
To make matters worse, in these types of cases, mom usually comes to court and sobs hysterically, while dad remains poised, calm, and confident. Dad says mom is crazy, and she looks a little nuts to the judge, too. (After all, who wouldn’t look and feel a little nuts if their children were being abused?) Mom says dad is a terrible abuser and a nasty person, and dad sits there in front of the judge in a nice collared shirt with his hands in his lap and a charming demeanor. While we understand the dynamics of the relationship (moms are momma bears for their kids, and abusers are generally charming and likable when you first meet them), it can be difficult for the judge to see.
In the worst cases, these factors combine to a custody perfect storm, and dad walks away with custody.
Are you saying that, even if I think my child has been abused, I shouldn’t bring it up?
Maybe. Again, I think the best thing you can do is talk to an attorney about your specific situation, and come up with a customized plan of action. Without knowing the facts of your case, it’s hard to give specific advice. However, it is possible that the absolute best course of action is to avoid the perfect storm situation, and that may mean sitting on your allegations of abuse.
Think about it: how can you protect your children if you go into court without evidence? You are practically handing your child’s father custody on a silver platter. If he’s an abuser, that’s the last person you want to have more time with your children.
In some cases, as counterintuitive as it may seem, it’s best to plan NOT to bring up any allegations of abuse, but instead focus the case on the best interests of the child factors and why mom should receive primary physical custody. After all, that’s really what the judge wants to hear—what your strengths are, how you plan to work with your child’s father to coparent the children, and how you’ll make sure to provide for the children according to the factors.
But what if my child says that she won’t go for visitation with her dad? Do I have to force her?
This is such a tricky question! Obviously, in a case like this, you don’t want to force your child to go. You’re panicked, and you don’t want any further damage to happen. You already blame yourself for what has happened so far, and you want more than anything else to shield her from anything else that could possibly happen.
The way the judge looks at it, your child is a child until the day she turns 18. Though some judges will talk to children during custody cases, it’s not generally encouraged. Not only that, but the fact remains that a minor child is not capable of making these kinds of major decisions, like which parent should have custody or whether she will go to court ordered visitation. Kids just don’t have the maturity, wisdom, and understanding to make these kinds of decisions.
Factor 6 is also still at play here, so the court is going to look at your case and try to determine whether you unreasonably denied access to the child to your child’s father. Even though you only denied it because you knew (or suspected) physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, you still need proof to make those kinds of claims. If you don’t force the child to go to visitation, it may look like you unreasonably denied visitation. Not only that, but your child’s father would probably also say that you lied to the children about him and poisoned their opinion of him in an effort to maintain control and turn them against him. Of course, if you do force your child to go, you really don’t know what could happen.
I understand that this is a terrible, awful, unimaginable catch-22. It seems like you lose either way. Either you protect your child and you risk losing custody, or you send your child and you risk something terrible happening to her.
Who is going to help me in my custody case?
Ideally, in a custody case where abuse is an issue, both mom and dad would hire attorneys to represent them. Your attorney will represent you, negotiate with your child’s father (or your child’s father’s attorney, if he’s represented by counsel), and tell the judge about your case. It’s best if both parties have attorneys, because the cases tend to run much more smoothly that way.
Your child will probably also have an attorney called a guardian ad litem. A Guardian ad litem is a person appointed to represent the child’s best interests and, ultimately, make a recommendation to the court. Usually, the GAL’s opinion is incredibly important to the judge, so it’s important that you make a good impression on the GAL in the beginning. When you have the opportunity to speak to your GAL, don’t waste time bashing your child’s other parent. Use this opportunity to discuss your strengths and your willingness to do whatever it takes (including coparenting effectively with your child’s father) to serve the best interests of your child. Talk about what you think is in her best interests, and how you plan to address it, both now and over the long term.
Be careful, though. It’s best not to think of the GAL as your friend, because he’s not. He’s an attorney, just like your attorney and your husband’s attorney, who was hired to represent your child. He doesn’t represent you or your child’s father, and you should remember that and be honest but guarded in all your communication with him.
Your best source of help will definitely by your attorney.
Of course, every situation is different, and it’s hard to predict ahead of time how things are going to happen. You should talk to an attorney as soon as possible, before you make any decisions that could ultimately impact your case. For more information about custody cases or to schedule a consultation with one of our attorneys, give our office a call at (757) 997-7731.