Cheap Divorce and Custody Resources

Posted on Dec 19, 2014 by Katie Carter

I know, I know.  You’ve got an upcoming divorce or custody case (or, at least, you’re currently worried about the possibility of your upcoming divorce or custody case), and you’re not sure what you want to do.  You’re looking into all your options—hiring an attorney, representing yourself, seeing a mediator—but you’re just not sure yet what you should do.

It’s difficult.  It’s a big decision.  No matter what type of case you’re facing, it’s a big question mark.  It’s the kind of event where you find yourself thinking of your life in two phases—either Before Trial, or After Trial.  You can hardly imagine your After Trial life; you’re having a hard time getting through the day to day decisions these days.  You just know that it’s looming somewhere on the horizon, and it’s a huge deadline, after which your life will probably never feel the same.

Whether you’re thinking of hiring an attorney to represent you, plan to do it yourself, or are still mulling around your options, you probably want more information.  If you’re anything like me, you’re an over planner.  You want more information, even if you don’t know yet what you’re going to do with it.  You want to read everything there is, carefully consider it, let it soak in.  You want to be sure that you’ve read everything possible, so that you don’t make any missteps.

There’s a lot of information out there, of course, and you’ve probably read it all.  Still, you approach everything with a healthy dose of skepticism.  If you don’t know where the information is coming from (like, if it’s just some random article you found on the Internet), and you can’t tell who wrote it, when it was written, or whether it was written by someone with experience in the Commonwealth of Virginia.  You read it, but you take some things with a grain of salt—knowing, of course, that things vary a lot from state to state, and that even in the span of six months, changes in the law can have occurred.

So, what you’re looking for is good, recent, Virginia-specific information relating to your particular case written by (or created by or presented by) someone with knowledge and experience with family law in Virginia, preferably an attorney.  And, of course, you don’t want to spend a fortune getting access to the material, because, like we’ve already said, it’s looking like you’ve got a big case coming up.  Right?  Well, fortunately for you, you’ve come to the right place.

Our law firm is dedicated to providing Virginia women with information about divorce and custody cases, and everything they involve.  From the beginning of the process, when you’re deciding how to handle your case, to the end, and even long after, we provide Virginia women with the information they need to secure the best results possible.  So, not only are you in the right place, but this blog is specifically designed to help introduce you to the materials, services, and information we provide, so that you know how to access the specific information you need to get the answers to your questions.

You’re in the right place.  We’re here to help make sure you get the information you need, so that you can make the choices you have to make in the coming days, weeks, and months.

So, let’s get started.

What free resources do you offer?

Let’s be frank.  You want to start with the free resources, right?  Because, before you get too far in the process, you want to have as little invested financially as possible.  Before you commit to anything, you want to be sure that you’ll get good, solid information.

What can you get for free?  A lot!

1.    Blogs and articles.

We have a pretty serious library on our website.  If you haven’t really visited yet, just click here—and we’ll send you there.  (But don’t forget to come back and finish reading this blog, so that you know what other resources are available to you!)

Our library is up to date, and covers tons of different topics relating to divorce and custody cases.  Chances are (very) good that, whatever you’re facing, we’ve blogged about it at some point or another.

You can use the search function on the site, if you want to go directly to the specific content (like, “grandparents rights,” “relocation,” or “annulment”), or you can just search through all the titles by going to our library section.  That way, you can just search only by what’s most recent.  Even if you’re not exactly sure what your question is, you’re sure to find all sorts of material that is on point.

Over the years, we’ve written on just about everything that comes up in our day to day practice, so there’s a VERY good chance that we’ve written (and recently, too) on whatever specific topic interests you the most.

So, if you’re looking for free, current, Virginia-specific, material written for women by licensed Virginia divorce and custody attorneys, you’ve definitely come to the right place.

2.    Books

If you’re looking for a little bit more—like, a little more guidance about your specific situation, or information about what typically happens in a divorce or custody case, you might want to take a look at one of our books.

No matter what your situation, we have a book to give you the guidance you need to make the hard decisions you need to make.

What Every Virginia Woman Needs to Know About Divorce

Our original book, “What Every Virginia Woman Needs to Know About Divorce,” was written by Charlie Hofheimer.  It covers the divorce process, and gives tons of information about grounds for divorce, how to file, what questions to ask your attorney in an initial consultation, 20 guidelines for living separate and apart under the same roof, 13 critical factors the judge has to consider in a spousal support case, 10 factors that affect, what formula to use to calculate your share of his retirement benefits, and more.

What Every Virginia Military Wife Needs to Know About Divorce

For military spouses, divorce is especially scary.  It’s also unique from civilian divorces in a lot of ways, so it’s necessary to get military-specific, up to date, Virginia-specific information about divorce.  In our free guide for military wives, we help familiarize you with issues that are unique to military marriages, including how the divorce process works in Virginia, how property is divided, and custody and support are handled, what financial records and other documents you’ll need to get started (like, for example, a copy of that LES statement), how military-specific legislation, like the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA), and the Post 9/11 GI Bill, can affect your divorce, and how military retirement benefits, the survivor benefit plan (SBP), Thrift Savings Plan (TSP), and military health care are handled before and after your divorce.

The Woman’s Guide to Hiring an Outstanding Divorce and Custody Attorney

Our newest book, “The Woman’s Guide to Hiring an Outstanding Divorce and Custody Attorney,” was co-written by Katie Wilcox Carter and Kristen Hofheimer.  It covers information every woman needs to know before making the decision to hire an attorney, including how to tell the difference between different types of lawyer advertising, the 15 questions to ask before you meet any attorneys, schedule any initial consultations, or sign any retainer agreements, what criteria you should be using to conduct your own independent evaluation, how do it yourself divorce works, including the advantages and disadvantages, and even including a scorecard you can use to quickly, easily, and efficiently compare the different attorneys with whom you do decide to meet.

Women’s Custody Survival Guide

If you find yourself facing a custody case, you need answers—which is exactly why Kristen Hofheimer wrote “The Women’s Custody Survival Guide.”  In it, you’ll learn all about the ten critical statutory factors that the court must consider, how custody orders are entered (and later modified), how different issues (like breastfeeding, same sex relationships, home schooling, abuse, ad special needs children) affect custody determinations, different alternatives to litigation, how to work with attorneys, guardian ad litems, and custody evaluators, and what you need to know if you choose to represent yourself, rather than hiring an attorney.

How do I get a copy of one of your books?

It’s easy!  Just click here—and you’ll be redirected to a page that lists all of our free and lost cost resources.  Just scroll down the page, until you find the book (or books) you’d like to receive a copy of, and fill out the information required.  (Don’t worry; it’s not difficult—we just need your name and your email address.)

How quickly will I get it?

We’ll immediately send you an electronic copy of the book.  (Basically, almost as soon as you fill out the form, you’re ready to check your email—it’ll be there in no time!)  If you live in our immediate area, you’ll get another email (pretty shortly thereafter), and you’ll be asked for a little bit more information.  If you provide it (obviously, it’s your choice), we’ll send a hard copy to the address you provide.  If you prefer to have it sent to a different address (like your mom’s, friend’s, or sister’s), that’s fine, too.  But we promise, we’ll send it to you in a plain, white envelope, so no one will know what’s in it.

Low-Cost Resources

Hiring an attorney is expensive.  Since you’re facing a custody or divorce case, you’re probably thinking about the money you’ll have to spend, if worst comes to worst, and you have to hire an attorney to represent you.  You’ve been through our free resources, and you’re ready to take the next step.  What else do we have to help?

1.    Seminars

The next step is to check out our seminars.  Each seminar is taught by a licensed and experienced Virginia divorce and custody attorney, so you can be sure that you’re getting accurate, up to date, Virginia specific information designed to help women facing divorce or custody cases.  No matter which seminar you plan to attend, you can be sure that you’re getting great information—for less than the cost of an hour with a reasonably priced local attorney.

Second Saturday: What Every Virginia Woman Needs to Know About Divorce

For the last twenty years, we’ve been teaching our Second Saturday seminars.  We call them Second Saturday because that’s when they’re offered—on the second Saturday of each month.  They’re offered both in Virginia Beach and Newport News on the second Saturday, and also in Virginia Beach on the third Tuesday of the month.  Each seminar is three hours long, taught by a licensed attorney, and covers everything you could ever want to know about the divorce process in Virginia.  Not only that, but you’re free to ask the questions that are keeping you awake at night, and re-attend any time you want!  After you’ve paid once to attend, you’re given a workbook, and you can use that workbook over and over again for re-admission to the seminar.  We find that, as women go through the divorce process, they have different questions at different points, and the best way to make sure that they have an opportunity to get those answers is to allow them to attend the seminar as many times as they need to.

The cost to attend the seminar is just $50, or $40 if you preregister at  On our site, you’ll get more information about the specific topics we cover, how to pre-register ahead of time, and see our full and complete event calendar.

Custody Bootcamp for Moms

Custody Bootcamp for Moms is an intense, all day seminar designed to help teach Virginia moms everything they need to know about custody cases in Virginia.  It’s taught by Kristen Hofheimer quarterly—in January, April, July, and October.  Whether you’ve already hired an attorney, or hope to represent yourself in your upcoming custody case, Custody Bootcamp for Moms teaches you everything about custody—from the 10 all-important custody factors, when to sit and stand, how to address the judge, what to wear, how to question and cross examine witnesses (and survive cross examination yourself), how to work with guardians ad litem, custody evaluators, and other attorneys, how to prepare your trial notebook, and how to give a killer opening and closing argument.

The cost to attend the seminar is $197, and Kristen will stay until the last woman’s last question is answered.  For more information about the seminar, to request a copy of our free report, “Can I REALLY Represent Myself in My Custody Case?” or to pre-register to attend, please visit our website at

Seminar in your Car: What Every Virginia Woman Needs to Know About Divorce

Can’t attend Second Saturday?  Live too far away to make the trip?  Can’t find child care on a Saturday morning?  Work too late on Tuesday evenings?  If, for whatever reason, you can’t make it to one of our monthly divorce seminars, we’ve pre-recorded a seminar.  Taught by Charlie Hofheimer, the founder of the law firm, the Seminar in Your Car package includes the transcript (both in video and audio CD format), a seminar transcript (so you can read along), and a book full of resources and other helpful information you might need.

For more information, or to get a copy of the Seminar in Your Car kit, please click here.

As you can tell, we offer a number of free and low cost resources for Virginia women, all designed to give them current, up to the minute information about divorce and custody cases in Virginia.  If you’re just now finding yourself in a position to experience a divorce or custody case, get the fast facts here first.  Start with the free information, so that you can start making the best decisions possible for you, your family, and your future.  If you need extra help deciding what resources might be best for you, or are ready to schedule an initial consultation, please feel free to give our office a call at (757) 425-5200.