Creating Stability After a Divorce

Posted on Apr 27, 2010 by Hofheimer Family Law

Starting a new life with your children after a difficult divorce is no small task. Even when something seems impossible that doesn’t mean it is unconquerable. You have the ability to take back control of your life and turn it into whatever you want it to be. Part of achieving this stability will come from honing some important communication skills.

Home and Family After Divorce

Two major questions after a divorce are; (1) how will the children take this? And (2) what do we do about the house? Communication is the answer to both.

Talk with your children
. Remember it’s “with” your children, not to your children. Explaining your divorce is only half the equation. You need to learn how to listen to what your children are thinking and feeling in order to understand how to help them through this. Involve your kids in the healing process, knowing they have some role and responsibility in upholding the household stability will keep them from feeling completely powerless.

Talk with your ex-husband
. If you have loose ends with your former spouse, it may help you to talk it out in order to achieve some closure. However, this is not advisable if you and your husband have been especially contentious, or you believe that he will say or do anything with the intention of hurting you. The purpose is to move beyond your divorce, not to get sucked back into the cycles that caused the decline of your marriage in the first place.

Learning To Be “You” Again After a Divorce

It is difficult to maintain household stability if you are still feeling torn up inside. Many women feel lost after a divorce, and it is important to address these feelings throughout the healing process. There are many things you can do after your divorce to help you move on and get to know yourself again as an individual and not just half of a couple:

  • Get some “me time.” Do some things just for you. Try a new class, take up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try or simply engage in healthy activities you already enjoy.
  • Have some fun with your kids.
  • Engage in community or explore your options for volunteer work.
  • Redecorate your home.
  • Spend time with friends, even it’s just a causal night at home.

The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer Family Law Firm care about your rights, the welfare and happiness of your children, and your financial security. Let us use our unique experience and legal expertise to help you focus on your goals for the future and your family. To learn more about Virginia divorce, request a FREE copy of our guide, What Every Virginia Woman Should Know About Divorce, or reserve your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.