There’s no question that going through a divorce or custody case is difficult in more ways than one. Whenever we talk to women, particularly women who are at the beginning of the process, they cite a whole laundry list of concerns that are keeping them lying awake at night.
Whether their concerns are more emotional or financial or have to do with insecurities or fears about their ability to continue raising their children in the way they always planned, there are a lot of things that divorce and custody cases force into a major transitional phase. There’s no question that change allows us to grow, but there’s also no question that it’s incredibly uncomfortable while that growth is taking place. (And, frankly, it may not seem a whole heck of a lot like growth to you at this particular point in time, and that’s fine, too.)
It’s difficult, and you don’t want to do it alone. But there is a limit to the amount of understanding that even the most well meaning friends and family members can have when they haven’t been in your shoes exactly. It’s not their fault, of course, and you’re grateful for their support and counsel, but, at the same time, you’d love to talk to someone who really just gets it.
Divorce support groups
That’s where divorce support groups really come in. Women ask me all the time about specific support groups that I know of, and I’m always happy to share the information that I have. If you, like many of my clients, are looking for a place to go to find other similarly situated women, you’re not alone—and I have some pointers for you to get you moving in the right direction.
1. Second Saturday Seminars
Our monthly divorce seminars, affectionately referred to as “Second Saturday” (because that’s when we teach them—well, to be technical, on the Second Saturday of the month in Virginia Beach and Newport News, and on the Third Tuesday of the month in Virginia Beach), are a great place to start. Not only will you get divorce specific information provided to you directly by one of our divorce and custody attorneys, you’ll also have an opportunity to hear from a local licensed mental health professional and connect with the other women attendees.
Often, friendships are immediately stuck up at Second Saturday, and it’s a great way to kill three birds with one stone, so to speak—you get your divorce advice, you get some counseling help (most women enlist the support of a therapist throughout the process, and we find it’s pretty much the healthiest way to deal with the stress), and you’ll meet other women.
The fee to attend is just $40 if you pre register on our site, or $50 if you prefer to pay at the door. Can’t afford even that much? Ask your current therapist whether he or she would be willing to reach out to us and request a fee waiver on your behalf.
2. Girl’s Night Out
We started our Girl’s Night Out event series specifically to help give local women an opportunity to connect with other women experiencing similar things. Every six weeks or so, the law firm sponsors a super fun get together (it’s not a chance to talk about your case; it’s purely social, so they’re tons of fun) at local area restaurants. It’s usually a happy hour type event, but we’ve also done other fun things, like taking line dancing lessons or singing karaoke. They’re completely no obligation to you, but they’re an awesome way to meet other women and get out of the house for a night (for free, too!).
We’ve been offering these events for about three years now, and we’ve found, especially lately, that lots of our women get together and do things even in between the officially sponsored events.Some very meaningful friendships have been forged at Girl’s Night Out, and you should definitely give it a shot.
3. Our divorce support group!
We started a divorce support group of our own just last year, and it has been pretty popular. Right now, our group is only offered for our clients, but they keep telling us how insanely important it is for them. It’s one of those things we wanted to offer as a little extra perk of being a client of ours. As a woman’s only firm (in fact, the only woman’s only firm representing women exclusively in divorce, custody, and support cases), we’re especially attuned to these things.
Already a client? Give our office a call at (757) 425-5200 for more information on registering for “Divorce Life Hacks and Support.” We’ll be happy to help enroll you.
Not a client but want to be? Give us a call at (757) 425-5200, and we’ll set up an appointment for you with one of our licensed and experienced Virginia divorce and custody attorneys to help you figure out the next steps to take.
3. MeetUp
The truth is that a lot of the divorce support type groups change a lot over time. I’ve heard of a number of different groups being offered at different places on different dates over my time working here, but I can’t vouch for what is still actively going on. It’s kind of hard to keep up, so it’s hard for me to know for sure. Besides that, I haven’t necessarily attended any of them, so it’s also hard for me to know what the best groups are, and where each particular person might benefit the most.If you’re looking for a divorce support group, I suggest you check out MeetUp.
It’s an online community designed to help people find others with similar interests. Whether you’re into crocheting, want to join a book club, really enjoy indie films, or want to meet moms with kids the same age as yours, MeetUp is a great way to find and interact with other local, active groups. They definitely have divorce and custody support groups, too, so it’s easy for you to find someone somewhere close to you meeting on the particular topic that is of interest to you. (In this case, divorce or custody.)
Don’t see a group that addresses your concerns? You can always start your own! MeetUp makes it easy to form a group and connect with other people who might be interested in the same things as you are. Don’t want to join a specific divorce group, but want to meet people all the same? MeetUp is still a great way to find people with similar interests, whatever those interests are.Just because you’re going through a divorce or custody case doesn’t mean you should have to do it alone. There are a lot of resources out there for women just like you, and you should seek out the type of group that will make you feel more at ease as you go through the process. For more information about Second Saturday or Girl’s Night Out, give our office a call at (757) 425-5200, or visit our website.