A Virginia child custody case is one of the most difficult, emotionally draining, and time intensive cases you could face in the Virginia court system. Virginia child custody cases are also often among the most expensive (I’m sorry, but it’s true), which can be a terrifying proposition for a mom.
Almost everyone has a limited income, after all. Of course, our incomes may be limited to a greater or lesser degree, but the idea of paying an attorney to litigate a complicated custody case is one that turns almost every mom’s blood cold. It’s pretty scary, and it’s scarier still if you know straight out of the gate that you won’t be able to afford to hire an attorney to represent you. Could it get scarier? Of course it could. What if you can’t hire an attorney, but your child’s father can. What if he knows he can out spend you, draining your resources, and ask for the one thing that you’re just not willing to give – custody of your children.
Sure, he’s the father. But he just hasn’t been there the way you have—if at all. And, of course, now he sounds pretty earnest about his desire to do better, but that just hasn’t been the case all along. He hasn’t participated in any of the things you’ve done with the kids, and he just doesn’t really know how to care for them. You’re worried about him, too. He drinks too much, he’s a little erratic behind the wheel, and, of course, there’s the matter of his new girlfriend (or the entire string of new girlfriends, with varying degrees of skankiness). Maybe he has been the subject of some ongoing criminal investigations. Maybe drugs are an issue, whether prescription…or otherwise.
Maybe it’s not so much something like that, but there’s something else you’d like. Maybe your child’s father is (or was) in the military, and you’ve found yourself in Virginia sort of against your wishes. Maybe you have family somewhere else. Maybe you’d like to go back there. Relocation cases are really tricky, as you can probably imagine.
Sometimes, there are even worse issues afoot. Some moms worry about extreme drug, alcohol, or other substance abuse. Others worry about physical, mental, or sexual abuse. There are a lot of potential issues that can arise in a custody case and, if you’re a mom, it’s your job to worry. You can’t help but worry. In fact, there’s so much worrying to be done, especially with a pending custody case looming on the horizon.
It’s natural to be worried. And technically, it’s true that most people DO hire attorneys to help them in their Virginia child custody cases—particularly ones with complicated issues, like drug or alcohol abuse or relocation. There’s a lot involved in a case like that, and, as you already know, the stakes are pretty high.
Whether you plan to represent yourself or whether you ultimately hope to hire an attorney, you’re in the right place. You’re asking the right questions, and it’s my goal to help you make sure you get the information that you need to make the choices you’ll need to make over the coming days, weeks, and months.
To get started, request a free copy of our book, The Woman’s Custody Survival Guide. It was written by Kristen Hofheimer ( – a truly incredible custody attorney, with experience handling all the types of issues we’ve already discussed. Her book is an awesome way to begin to learn about custody cases and how specific issues are handled in Virginia, including where homeschooling, breastfeeding, special needs children, and same sex parents are concerned. (In case you haven’t figured it out already, custody cases can deal with a number of issues).
When you receive the book, you’ll also get an email with an option to join our free online custody e-course. To join, just request a copy of the book, and make sure to add your email address. It’s full of tons of tips and tricks written and prepared for you by one of our licensed and experienced Virginia divorce and custody attorneys.
If your Virginia child custody case is part of an underlying divorce, consider attending our monthly divorce seminar, too. It deals mostly with the divorce process in Virginia, but getting your questions about divorce answered can often go a long way towards helping you figure out what your next steps should be. We’ll address custody, too—at least as far as it relates to the rest of the divorce process. Since each seminar is taught by one of our attorneys, you’ll have a chance to ask your specific questions, too. For more information about the seminar, click here.
If you need more custody-specific questions answered or your Virginia child custody case isn’t part of an underlying divorce action, consider attending Custody Bootcamp for Moms. It’s an intense, all day custody seminar designed to teach moms everything they need to know about representing themselves in a Virginia child custody case at the juvenile court level. It’s taught by Kristen Hofheimer and Caitlin Walters who handle the majority of custody cases coming out of our office . It’s live, too, so you’ll be able to ask your questions directly to Kristen and Caitlin. For more information about Custody Bootcamp for Moms, or to register online, feel free to check out our website.
For more information, or to schedule a one on one consultation with one of our attorneys to talk about handling your custody case, give our office a call at (757) 425-5200.
Custody Seminar for Virginia Moms
Posted on Sep 7, 2016 by Katie Carter