My marriage isn’t working out. What should I do?

Posted on Apr 6, 2018 by Katie Carter

There’s not a lot of things that feel scarier than divorce. It’s a big change, and it impacts all areas of your life.

I think probably the scariest parts aren’t even what will happen to your retirement accounts or your house, but the ideological shift that takes place. Who are you, if you’re not your husband’s wife? How do you start over? Who do you talk to now, if the person you vowed to love and cherish is no longer playing on the same team? What about your future? Who will you grow old with? I think fears of loneliness and generally being alone plague a lot of women, especially at the beginning of the process.

It’s a big shift to go from married to single. There are lots of things – both good and bad – that come with it. Even the good things are scary, too. Like dating again, and having your own bank account in your own sole name. There’s a lot of parts of this that are empowering, and that will help you to find a strength you didn’t know existed.

But, as is often the case when it comes to personal growth, you have to go through a fairly difficult period first. It IS difficult, too – nothing I can say will really take that away. But I do think you’ll find (as do almost all of my clients) that you’ll come out better, stronger, happier, and more independent on the other side.

You don’t have to have all the answers today. But I do want to help point you in the right direction so that you don’t find yourself worrying needlessly in the middle of the night. (Or is that just me?) Though, of course, not worrying is easier said than done, you’d really be better suited worrying about the things you CAN control. Gather as much information as possible, so you can make the best decisions available to you under your unique circumstances. Then, when you lay your head down on the pillow at night, you’ll know you had all the available information – the rest will fall into place over time.

Where should I start? I need Virginia divorce information, fast.

Unless you want to read through the Virginia Code section as it relates to family law (trust me, you don’t), you’ll need to take some short cuts. But that’s not a problem; I have tons of information that can help you get the Virginia divorce information you need, fast.

1. Request a copy of our Virginia divorce book. (Or, if you’re military, our military divorce book.)

It’s free, it’s fast, and it’s full of information that you’ll need to get started. Our books are pretty comprehensive, written by licensed and experienced Virginia divorce and custody attorneys, and include information on the topics we receive the most questions about.

2. Attend a monthly divorce seminar.

Once you’ve read all you can, you likely need more help. But maybe more than a book can provide. It’s time to consider attending one of our monthly divorce seminars. I know, I know – it doesn’t sound like the absolute most fun in the world. But, at the same time, it’s not too bad.

Each seminar is taught by one of our attorney, in person, and they take questions from the audience (general questions, not case specific ones). That way, you can get answers to the specific questions you had left over after reading the book. Perfect, right?

3. Check our site for more.

We have a pretty extensive library available online and you should definitely check it out, too. Lots of articles have been written on pretty specific topics (after years and years of writing these blogs, sometimes I like to talk about unusual or interesting anecdotes—some of which may apply exactly to your situation), so you can find answers to a lot of unanswered questions there.

What if I still have questions?

If, after all this, you still have questions, it might be time to consider a consultation with an attorney. I know – that’s kind of scary! But…it really is the next step. If you’re wanting more specific information about you and what you should do under the circumstances, there’s nothing else to do but talk to someone one on one about your options in your case.

What happens in an initial consultation?

A good question. If you’re like me, you want to know what to expect BEFORE you walk through the doors, right? And why not? Whatever you can do to make yourself feel more comfortable and better able to prepare for what’s ahead is good.

We’ve got a pretty lengthy article about what you can expect from an initial consultation in our office.  Be sure to check it out. It includes a list of what you should bring (and who you should bring with you), as well as what you can expect from the appointment itself.

You’re doing the right thing. You’re gathering information, you’re asking questions, and you’re preparing for what’s next.

For more information, or to schedule a consultation, give our office a call at 757-425-5200.