Everyone is using AI. Heck, I’m using AI. I don’t always use AI, and I don’t use AI instead of writing things myself, like this article. But I do use it sometimes for inspiration, to proof and polish, or even to help fill in gaps. Sometimes, when I can’t find the words (which, I admit, is a rare occasion for me; I have all the words), the AI tool can.
For the record, I was using the em dash long before AI and, as such, I intend to continue on using it because I like it.
I see lots of people using AI for their legal cases, in family law and beyond. And while I understand, especially since retaining counsel is expensive and not everyone can afford to do it, I also feel duty bound to tell you that you should use it with caution.
A lot of people don’t really understand the law. I don’t say that as an accusation or to suggest that it is your fault. The law wasn’t written to be easily digestible. It’s full of jargon. And don’t get me started on the jurisdiction-specific rules and procedures that you really should know if you’re going to practice law in a particular court or jurisdiction.
Make no mistake, either. When you represent yourself, you aren’t acting without an attorney. You are pro se, which is a Latin term which means, loosely translated (keep in mind I didn’t taken Latin) “on one’s own.” It means that you are representing yourself, not that you are without counsel. You take on the role of counselor in this context, so the court places the – incredibly high – burden on you of knowing the rules, the procedures, and the specific protocol involved in your own case.
Generally speaking, juvenile courts are friendlier to pro se litigants than, say, circuit courts. But still, you are viewed as an attorney representing yourself, not as a person without legal counsel. You are expected to know the law. The standards are, theoretically, as high on you as on the licensed, practicing, barred attorney on the other side of counsel table.
I don’t say that to scare you, but (hopefully) to impress upon you the seriousness of what you are undertaking. It’s not that you can’t do it. It’s not that it’s that hard. But it isn’t written in plain English, it isn’t mean to be easily understandable, and it varies from court to court. You are also likely to be found responsible for knowing and understanding the systems, despite having no actual training or experience in them.
It bears mentioning, too, that it is infinitely more difficult to handle your own case than it is to handle someone else’s. The emotions involved can make being strategic and savvy even more difficult than they already are; it can cause you to confuse what is hurtful or upsetting with what is legally relevant.
Okay, okay – now I’m getting back on track.
Can you use AI to prepare your own divorce?
Yes, of course. And, also, no way.
Let’s discuss.
You can absolutely use AI to do legal work. People do all the time, with varying degrees of success. If you are not a lawyer, though, I urge you to exercise some caution and, ideally, to handle your divorce in tandem with a couple of other tools.
Keep in mind, though, that you should be using a CLOSED AI program – one you pay a subscription fee to use and which does not share your personal or confidential information – not a generative AI program. Most of the free AI tools you can use will not protect your confidential information and could be discoverable. This could be potentially disastrous for you, so be sure that, whatever you use, anything you share and upload is protected. Check with an attorney if you’re not sure about what you’re using or the state of the law in your locality with respect to AI. (And remember, too, that it is changing as fast as AI is, so always better to check in with the very most current state of affairs.)
AI is an incredible tool and it can do incredible things. But, together with AI, here’s what other resources you can use to help make sure that your divorce doesn’t go sideways on you:
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Do your research.
Research is where it all starts and ends. You should know what needs to be handled and have a plan for how to tackle it, whether you’re drafting an agreement or preparing for a trial. (Admittedly, an agreement is much easier than a trial, but people have done both pro se and been successful.)
A great place to start is our free books – there are four – and other free articles like this that can help you learn what you don’t know that you don’t know.
We also have a divorce seminar where you can ask your questions directly to a licensed and experienced Virginia family lawyer and which can help explain your rights and entitlements under the law.
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Consult a local law librarian.
Law libraries – and law librarians – are under utilized resources. If you have a law library close by, particularly a law library that acts as a standalone and isn’t absorbed in the wider public library network, it is a resource you should consider using. Not only can you read statutes and case law there (which you could also do online, if you know where to go), but you can get the help of the law librarian herself (or himself). These people are incredibly valuable professionals who have a wealth of knowledge across a number of different practice areas and who can help point you in the right direction. They’re used to people who are representing themselves and can help make sure you know about all the resources available to you.
Don’t sleep on a law librarian.
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Draft it – and have it reviewed.
You don’t have to hire an attorney to talk to one! Even if you can’t afford a retainer, you could meet with an attorney for an hour or two, here and there, to review what you’ve drafted, to make sure you understand it, and understand the potential advantages and disadvantages of what you intend to do.
We review documents ALL THE TIME. It is absolutely not weird and you will not be looked down on for having drafted your own. You should also not feel stupid if the attorney suggests that you include provisions, especially boilerplate provisions, that you didn’t know to include (like what happens if there’s a bankruptcy, if one part of the agreement doesn’t hold up in court later, or if someone has omitted property that should have been included). These things tend to go beyond what most people are trying to do (which is just to get divorced) but also offer invaluable protection if something weird or unusual happens later.
Don’t be so focused on your end goal that you allow yourself to enter into an agreement that isn’t as protective as it could be, especially not if the cost of meeting with someone and reviewing your proposed agreement could cost as little as a few hundred dollars.
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Consider limited scope representation.
Even if an attorney doesn’t handle an entire case, you can hire an attorney for a small part of it. This is especially important if you’re attempting a trial where you could really find yourself in over your head. Maybe you want someone to actually to do the litigation; maybe you just need a little help with discovery. It’s possible that you could find an attorney willing to piecemeal your representation with you, so that you can both not exceed your budget and be as well-represented as possible.
Not all will do this, and not all will do it exactly like you want, but it’s worth having a conversation. At the very least, you could have your documents – agreements, discovery, orders, pleadings – reviewed, even if you prefer to represent yourself throughout your case.
At every point, too, you can also run your information through AI, though I’d always counsel you to be sure that you use a closed system – one that you pay a subscription for – rather than using a free tool. If you do use a free tool, well, don’t say I didn’t warn you, but I also get it. There’s such a barrier to accessing legal information. Are you damned if you do or damned if you don’t? I don’t have a crystal ball, so I can’t tell you ahead of time except to say that I would feel most comfortable if you made sure anything you uploaded was protected.
Also, especially since you’re a non-lawyer (not at all a dig, but just a statement of fact), don’t hesitate to have anything you draft reviewed before you rely on it. Working in tandem with these other resources, plus AI, will help you make sure that your divorce is as protective of you as it could possibly be.
It’s not that you shouldn’t use AI, especially if you’re up against a wall and you feel you have no other choice. But, if you do, you should use it in combination with other tools, some free and some low cost, to help make sure you’re protected as possible.
At the end of the day, the goal isn’t *just* to get you divorced. It’s to get you divorced and to prevent any potentially expensive or even just frustrating future problems from standing between you and your happily ever after.
For more information or to schedule a consultation with an experienced Virginia divorce attorney, give our office a call at 757-425-5200 or schedule online at hoflaw.com.