One of the most difficult parts of child custody litigation is that it can be virtually never ending. Since custody, visitation, and child support are modifiable based on a material change in circumstances, you can – theoretically, at least – find yourself in court again and again, at least until you children turn 18 and age out of the system.
That can, as I’m sure you’ve already surmised, get expensive. So, can you do it on your own, without hiring an attorney?
I don’t want to sugarcoat it. Even for attorneys, trial is difficult, stressful, and time-consuming. It’s not that you can’t do it, but you’re working from a disadvantage already as a non-attorney representing yourself.
Why? Well, for one thing, you don’t have the benefit of a law school education. I’m not saying that law school is useful in many respects, but it does teach you a lot about the basic framework of government and why the systems exist the way they do. It’s important foundational information.
Not only that, but you don’t have actual experience representing clients in court in high stakes cases. I’m not saying we don’t get stressed out – we do – but it isn’t our first rodeo, you know? And, when it WAS our first rodeo, we had help (in some cases, a lot of help) from older, more experienced attorneys.
Even worse, you’re representing yourself. I don’t say that to be mean, but there’s no way you’re not extra emotional about the subject matter. After all, these are your own kids! I very rarely actually meet the kids who are the subject of the litigation that I’m handling. That’s not to say I don’t care about them or that I don’t feel like I know them, but the reality is that these are not my own kids. I can stay calmer under pressure. I’m not nearly as emotionally volatile. Make no mistake: it is exponentially more difficult to represent yourself.
If you don’t have one already, get a therapist. No, you are not crazy – but you may feel like it at many different points, and you’re going to need someone to help make you feel calmer and more grounded.
It’s not that it’s impossible to represent yourself, but it is harder. Also, I think it is harder to represent yourself in the circuit court – either in a divorce case or on appeal from the juvenile court – than it is to represent yourself in petitions for custody, visitation, and/or child support, whether as an initial determination or as a modification, in the juvenile court.
When were created Custody Bootcamp for Moms – or, more accurately, when Kristen Hofheimer created it – the vision was that it would help guide women who wanted to represent themselves at the juvenile court level.
Why juvenile court? Well, for a number of reasons. Generally speaking, juvenile court is regarded as more user-friendly than circuit court. It’s not exactly designed for people who are representing themselves, but there’s more tolerance for it.
It’s also a lower court and – though I hesitate a little to put it this way – sort of viewed as a lower stakes option. To be sure, a judge in juvenile court can terminate your parental rights or take custody away from you entirely; it’s not like it’s truly low stakes. But, from a court perspective, it’s looked at that way a little because you have an automatic appeal of right to the circuit court. This means that, if things don’t go the way you want, you can always appeal it – for any reason, good or bad, or no reason at all.
You get a brand new trial in the circuit court, too, so you could – if you were a gambler – handle your lower court appearance yourself and then, if push came to shove, hire an attorney at the circuit court level.
Custody Bootcamp for Moms is designed to teach the juvenile court process. It does not cover the circuit court process, whether for divorce or appeals for custody determinations from juvenile court. That’s totally beyond the scope of the seminar.
Why? Well, I think Kristen felt – though I hate to speak for her – that it was more realistic to handle your own case at juvenile court than circuit court. Had she lived longer, maybe she would have developed a program to teach circuit court procedures to would-be pro se litigants but, well, that didn’t happen. I miss her every day.
While it is absolutely possible to represent yourself, it’s not easy to do so. You probably already know that. Custody Bootcamp can help, but you will still have to take on a lot of work yourself – you’ll want to be familiar with the relevant state statutes, case law, and even the local rules of the court that you’ll be appearing in. It’s a tall order, but not impossible.
Hey, if I can do it, you know? Keep in mind, too, that you don’t have to hire an attorney to consult with one, so you can always have a consult, or even several, as you prepare for your case.
For more information, download a copy of our custody book for moms, get more information about Custody Bootcamp, or schedule a consultation with one of our licensed and experienced custody attorneys.