Not all relocation cases are the same because not all moves are the same. Relocation is one thing if you and your child’s father are going to live across the country from each other; it’s another thing if you are going to be just on the other side of the HRBT.
Generally speaking, when we’re talking about a relocation, a move qualifies as a relocation if it makes the current custody and visitation order or agreement improbable. So, we’re going to look both at (1) what does parenting time look like right now, and (2) how will the move, or proposed move, impact the planned parenting time?
All of the things matter, from the schedule with school and extracurriculars to how both parents will navigate these changes with their jobs and, if they have them, their entire blended family system. Sure, the standard is ‘best interests of the child,’ but most courts believe that one of the most important things in a child’s best interests is having continued contact with both parents.
If the status quo – the current agreement or court order – is working, the court is likely to believe that this is in the child’s best interests, especially if it allows maximum time with both coparents.
In terms of making an argument in court, it’s going to be important to focus on the independent benefit of the move TO THE CHILD, rather than what’s in only one parent’s best interests. The fact that you’ll make more money or be nearer to your support system probably is not an independent benefit to the child – that’s a benefit to you. So, in terms of arguments, you’ll want to be creative.
But one move is not the same as the next. Let’s look at some scenarios.
My ex and I live in Virginia Beach and I have primary physical custody of our 4 year old daughter. He has one weekend of parenting time each month and often doesn’t even exercise that time. I have a job offer that would take me to North Carolina – about 4 hours away – and would bring me nearer to my family and allow me to live in an area with lower cost of living. Will a court allow me to go?
It’s always up to the court, so there can be a wide degree of variation in what a court (or a particular judge) will or will not allow.
The thing about this particular relocation is that, though it’s most definitely a relocation, it may be possible for the parents to continue to do what they’re doing even despite the distance. If that four hour difference doesn’t impact the amount of time that dad sees the child, it has less of an impact than if it meant that the child would suddenly be able to see dad less. Sure, dad almost certainly couldn’t then ask for MORE parenting time later – the difference in distance, plus the child eventually going to kindergarten – would make that almost certainly an impossibility. But if mom can show that dad has one weekend a month and he’s already semi-regularly not even exercising that time, it’s probably a remote possibility (or, worse, an excuse born out of a desire to control mom, rather than to spend more time with the child).
Some courts are tougher on relocating parents than others. A judge may grant your relocation, but give dad more summer and/or holiday time, or make you responsible for more of the travel costs/time associated with the relocation. Maybe you have to bring your daughter to and from North Carolina each time dad has parenting time? It’s hard to know up front what a judge would order, but these are all possibilities.
My ex and I live in Hampton, but I got a job offer in Colorado. Currently, we share custody one week on and one week off of our 3 children, ages 11, 7 and 5. He is remarried to a woman with two children of her own and they have a baby on the way. The custodial time is split so that most of the time that they are there, they’re with their stepsiblings, too. It’s mostly good, but there is sometimes drama because his new wife and I don’t get along that well. Still, I’d like to start over somewhere new and Colorado is always somewhere I’ve wanted to try living.
You can see that this is different, right? It’s not so much about the reasons for going here – surely anyone who has ever been through a divorce or custody case can hardly be blamed for wanting to go somewhere where they have the opportunity for a clean slate – but the fact that the children’s father is already so involved. To go from spending half of the time with dad to relocating to Colorado – where, presumably, the kids couldn’t see dad all that often – would be huge.
This is a harder case to win. It’s not that it’s impossible – all of these cases are incredibly fact specific so it’s going to depend on the details here – but it is going to be harder than the first case, even though both are very clearly relocation cases. Especially if the kids here are well adjusted, it’s going to be a lot to move them.
Stepsiblings are important, but probably even more important is the new half sibling who is on the way. It’s good for kids to have strong sibling relationships, and these are all factors the judge will consider.
My child’s father and I live in Norfolk. We have a seven year old child with a very specific disability. The school system here isn’t serving him well, and there’s a school in Tennessee that caters specifically to this unique disability. My job is remote, so I can work from anywhere. I’d like to move to Tennessee to try the school, to see if it helps him. My child’s father exercises regular parenting time every other weekend, but I am still the primary caregiver, both because I work from home and because our son’s needs are so extreme. What will the court do?
See what I did there? Now, we’re getting more into the independent benefit of the child. The other two examples weren’t as strong on this point – or, at least, not as overtly strong. I’m not saying that having a job and being closer to family isn’t an independent benefit, but you’re going to have to really draw out what makes the move beneficial to the child, as opposed to just beneficial to you.
Also, dad here has somewhat limited parenting time, as is often the case with a child with a disability. Tennessee – depending on where it is – isn’t as far away as some other things; it may be possible that the parents could meet in the middle to still exchange the child on a somewhat regular basis.
Altogether, though, I think these facts are strong and at least present a compelling case.
Will you win a relocation case? It’s always hard to say, because it’s case and fact and judge specific. But one relocation case is not the same as another, so it’s hard to make broad generalizations without looking at the specifics involved.
For more information, request our free report on relocation or give our office a call at 757-425-5200 to schedule a consultation.