What does supervised visitation mean?

Posted on Jan 27, 2025 by Katie Carter

In most cases, both parents will have the opportunity to have uninterrupted, unsupervised parenting time with their minor children, whether by agreement between the parties or by court order.

In extreme cases, though, it is possible that the court would order one party or the other to have supervised visitation.  This will usually be in response to a series of situations that seem to be escalating in intensity; sometimes it’s real (like abuse, threatened abuse, drug or alcohol addiction, etc) and other times it’s the result of abusive litigation.

It is usually NOT because the child’s other parent – usually, though not always, the dad – has not been present or involved with the child prior to the breakup, separation, or divorce.  In general, even when a parent has been completely uninvolved, the court will give him the opportunity to at least try to parent, considering it not in the child’s best interests to exclude him entirely on that basis alone.  Just because he’s never participated in a bedtime, doesn’t know what they’ll eat, or how to care for them on an ongoing, day-to-day basis doesn’t mean he can’t learn how to do it or that the children will be in any real danger from him fumbling to try to figure it out.

But once supervised visitation IS ordered, what happens?

Who supervises?

Like so many other things, what matters most is the specific language, whether in the agreement (though, usually, supervised visitation isn’t entered by agreement) or the court’s official order.

Any terms associated with that visitation will be in the order.  Specifically, look for details about WHO is qualified to supervise your (or his) parenting time.  If you’re hoping to get supervised visitation for him, you’re going to want to have thought of who should be able to supervise his parenting time ahead of time because you probably won’t like his suggestions.

Usually, the person against whom the order is entered will want to select their mom, family member, or friend to supervise.  (Keep in mind, though, that – again, if this is you – you’ll want someone who is able to be available enough for you to get plenty of parenting time.)

There is also the option of using specifically designated visitation centers, who have people who are paid to be supervisors.  You can do it in the center itself or pay representatives to come to your home or other location to supervise your parenting time.  The downside of this, of course, is that it can get expensive.  The upside is that it’s a neutral, non-abusive person whose presence shouldn’t make things worse.

I’ve also seen situations where the other parent is the supervisor.  That’s probably not the most ideal for a lot of reasons, not least of which because these relationships can also be abusive and can involve a lot of gatekeeping by the custodial parent.

What details will govern the visitation itself?  Specifically, when and where will the visits take place?

  1. Where?

To avoid the primary custodian abusing their discretion, it’s important to have language regarding when and where the supervised parent’s parenting time will take place.  Is their home a legitimate possibility?  A public place?  A supervision center (or similar) only?

  1. How often will these visits take place?

If your child’s father is the one getting supervised visitation, you might prefer that the details be left blank – after all, then it’s up to you – but that can be a bit of a slippery slope.  After all, he could go back to court and argue that you’ve abused your discretion or that you’ve deliberately tried to keep him from the kids beyond what you should have done.  Is it true?  Is it a blatant lie?  It hardly matters, if it ends up with you in court

Are these visits to take place once a week?  Once a month?  Whatever their frequency, it’s going to be best to determine this in writing, so that no one is laboring under false expectations.  In my opinion, having expectations that aren’t met are one of the biggest issues in custody cases – because that’s when people start to get upset and litigious.  For better or for worse, knowing exactly what is required is going to keep everyone (at least, everyone who intended to follow the order/agreement in the first place) on a level playing field.

  1. How long will they last?

Is each visit an hour?  More?  Less?  You want to set and manage expectations, including everyone knowing how long the visit will last. That way, you can plan appropriate activities and location based on the amount of time that you are expecting to spend at the visitation.

  1. Who else is allowed to be there?

Be very, very specific about who can be present at a supervised visitation.  Siblings?  Step-siblings?  New partners?  In general, I find that the biggest issue is a new partner – and it’s often best to leave them behind.  Just because one parent has supervised visitation does not mean that parenting time is a spectacle meant to embarrass, threaten, demean, or harass.

It’s always best to have clear instructions specified in advance.  Especially if you have a high conflict coparent, you’re going to want to make sure you know what the rules are and when, exactly, the rules have been broken.  That way, if you have to make an argument to the court to modify the current order, you’ll be able to be incredibly specific because you know what was supposed to happen versus what actually happened.

It’s a protective mechanism for you but it also minimizes the likelihood of extensive additional litigation.

For more information or to register to attend an upcoming Custody Bootcamp for Moms seminar, give our office a call at 757-425-5200.