In some ways, a divorce is a divorce. Certainly, if we’re looking at things procedurally, one divorce doesn’t differ all that much from another, though there’s also no question that a military divorce involves considerations that civilian divorces don’t.
Mostly, military divorces mean that there are categories of assets – BAH, SBP, TSP, the GI Bill, etc – for which there is no specific civilian equivalent. The military pension, too, is its own unique breed, though in some ways that actually makes things easier, rather than harder. With as many military families as we have living in the Hampton Roads area, it’s safe to say each of our individual attorneys has a lot of experience dividing military pensions. Though the laws change from time to time – like when the military shifted to its “new” blended retirement plan – we can pretty easily stay up to date on those changes, if only because so many of our clients are military or former military.
But, like I already said: procedurally, there’s not much about a military divorce that is different from a civilian divorce. If you’re military, though, that may not be the line that you’ve been fed.
Unfortunately, misinformation for military service members and military spouses is common. We’ve heard, over the years, a million different versions of the military ten year myth, talked to clients who don’t seem to understand that their military support “rights” under the MILPERSMAN are different than what the state will allocate for child and spousal support, and reviewed dozens of JAG attorney drafted separation agreements.
Most recently, I saw a comment on social media where a woman said that she needed a referral to a lawyer because – “as you know” – a military spouse can’t file for divorce on her own.
Ummm.
No.
That’s not right. While there are many, many different reasons you’ll want to consider hiring an attorney to represent you in a family law case, it is absolutely untrue that, procedurally, there are options available to non-military spouses than are available to military spouses. In Virginia, you are entitled to represent yourself in any divorce or custody case, whether at the juvenile court or circuit court level. It doesn’t matter whether you’re military or civilian; you have the right to represent yourself.
You can file for divorce, for child custody or visitation, or even child or spousal support – with or without an attorney. Nothing about your military status has anything to do with your right to file your own petitions or represent yourself in your own case.
Now, that’s not to say that representing yourself is easy. It’s not, especially in a divorce case at the circuit court level. I’d even go so far as to say, honestly, if you’re going to do it, you’re definitely going to have to take responsibility for an extreme level of care, dedication, and research. You won’t have years, like many attorneys do, to work under the tutelage of a more senior attorney. You won’t get to work up to some of the more complicated parts of a case. You’ll have to do the research and jump in, head first, no matter how complex the issues. That’s a hard thing to do.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it. Every family, every case, every set of needs is unique, and there’s not necessarily a one-size-fits-all solution. Not everyone can afford to hire an attorney, either.
One of the best ways to start is by beginning your research. As far as military divorce is concerned, one of the best resources out there is our free guide to military divorce for military wives (or active duty female servicemembers). It will help you begin to put the pieces together so that you at least know what to ask for.
Need a little more help, or have a couple of burning questions you just need answered by an attorney? Our divorce seminar is great for that, too, and it costs less than an hour with an attorney here locally. Most family lawyers don’t offer free consults, so getting real answers from real attorneys will cost, no matter how you slice it.
It’s smart to start getting the actual information you need to make big decisions about your future – and I’m glad you’re here!
For more information, to request a copy of our military divorce book, or to register to attend a divorce seminar, give us a call at 757-425-5200 or visit our website at hoflaw.com.